SEINE DURCH SCHULDEN

•Little friend•

Laying in my bed, eyes trying to make out the ceiling in the darkness, I heard soft snores coming from the other boys as they slept peacefully in their different beds. I envied them. I envied the fact that they could sleep peacefully throughout the night and wake up looking normal the next morning. For me, It was a different story.

Exhaling, I laid in my bed, silently counting down the minutes before he'd come for me. I tried not to sleep so I wouldn't be caught unawares. 

Just as a yawn tried escaping my lips, I heard the loud thud of his footsteps. I knew he was coming for me like he did every other night. The hour had come and there was nothing I could do about it.

As quietly as I could, I moved to the edge of the bed, dangling my feet from the edge. Since it was a bunk bed and I was at the top bunk, they didn't touch the ground. I saw the streaks of the light before he opened the door and came into view.

Immediately the light illuminated the room, I hopped down from the bunk. It was something I was used to. The light found me and so did his eyes.

He was dressed in his usual black cassock like every other priest I'd come across in this parish. I stared him in the eyes, waiting for his command.

"Son, it's time". He spoke softly like he always does. That fatherly voice that lured me into his nest from the very beginning.

Giving me a little nod, he turned on his heels and I followed, right behind him. He led me out of the room, into the hallway and we passed the rooms of the other boys, heading out of the bungalow. I knew his destination.

From the distance, I could see the light from lamps illuminating the church already.

He walked ahead of me, not bothering to check if I was following him because he knew I was like the good child I am.

Finally, we made it to the church and he let me get in before closing the door softly. I looked around to see the nuns there already. My eyes trailed to the large wall clock hanging at the altar and my heartbeat quickened just as it struck twelve midnight.

This is it.

Each night I came here and told myself I could take whatever they give to me but that assurance always went down the drain when they started.

Letting out a deep breath, I pulled my shirt off and slowly stepped to the middle, as expected of me, with my eyes downcast.

The room was silent till I heard footsteps rushing behind me but they came to a stop after a minute. I knew what had happened. As usual, sister Lydia has gotten the holy water or should I call it my instrument of torture from the altar.

I gulped involuntarily as fear seized my entire being, waiting for the first hit to land on my already wounded skin.

"son, the evil in you has dug its claws deep into your soul. It has refused to come out. Hence, we torture it every night because we want to save you". Father Gabriel lifted my chin so he was looking into my eyes with his soft brown orbs. " You have to know we're not doing this for fun. We are devoting our time into saving your corrupted soul". He took a deep breath before he proceeded. But remember that even if your body cannot hold on and you depart to the great beyond, your place shall be with the most high". He pointed a finger up.

When he spoke that way, I wondered if there was really *a highest* up there and he was watching them torment me till the day I'll give up the ghost. One could only ever take so much torture. My skin was bruised and battered.

My only offense was being born to be who I am.

After his words of encouragement, he said a little prayer, and the nuns surrounding me chorused an Amen.

At the mention of the word *Amen*, the voice in my head or that's what I thought it was, reared its head out like it was trying to split from me but I'd had enough experience to know it was too weak to carry out its motive.

I shook my head and shut my eyes as the voice shook me, trying to get out but it couldn't. Tired of the struggle, I opened my eyes. Without being told, I knew I was different. My head felt like something had grown from my scalp.

"it's here". Father Gabriel announced. "Point your rosaries at it and do not relent in your prayers. We shall win this battle soon". That said he murmured words of prayer, followed by the sprinkling of the holy water on my skin. I let out a loud bellow in a voice I could hardly recognize as mine.

It was out. The voice in my head. That's it.

More holy water sprayed on my skin, melting it and breaking the flesh before softening it. I knew smoke was coming from my wounds. I could inhale the coppery smell of blood as it oozed out from my wounds. I felt like I was being cooked in flaming fire.

My loud cries didn't stop them. They continued their assault till I couldn't scream anymore, due to my broken voice.

Somehow, I'd gotten on my knees. I looked up to see the priest sweating profusely. It was almost another hour before they stopped, leaving me to my fate.

They left me lying on the bare floor like they did every night, leaving me to bleed till the next morning, before tending to my injuries.

The sound of the door opening grabbed my highly alerted senses. I knew no one would come to check on me till morning so I was surprised to hear the door opening.

With the little strength in me, I turned towards the door to see a little girl, looking to be around seven, silently closing the door.

She walked towards me slowly, curiosity etched on her face. Getting to me, she crouched down to my level. She had the most beautiful electric blue eyes I'd ever seen. Her brown hair fell to her shoulders, framing her adorable face.

" what are you doing here?". I managed to ask. It was the dead of the night and I knew all the kids were supposed to be asleep in their respective beds.

"I always follow you every night you come here". She spoke in her little voice. It sounded so comforting to my bleeding ears.

"for how long?". I croaked out, my eyes still lost in hers.

"Since the first time I arrived here".

"you shouldn't be here". She shouldn't. The rest of the kids knew to stay away from me because they've been told I was possessed.

"I want to. Mama told me to help people in need". 

"But you have no help to offer". If I wasn't in pain, I'd have laughed at her.

"I can be your friend". She shrugged. This right here would have wiped the laughter from my face. 

"I'm possessed and not good for you". I finally found words.

"Mama told me every bad person has a good side and it comes out if they're loved. If I'm your friend, I could bring out your good side and they'll stop beating you".

I stared at her, totally speechless. That was the first time that in my miserable life someone had requested to be by me. Her words brought tears to my eyes but she raised her little hand up and wiped them away before they could fall.

"Don't cry. I'll be your friend". With her hand on my cheek, she gazed into my lilac orbs like she was making a promise.

I knew she meant it.