Saat Terbangun dari Mimpi

Abigail Hayes

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The last man I dated told me I had pareunomania.

Our relationship lasted for all of three weeks, but he ended up breaking up with me because of the aforementioned problem. I didn’t know what it meant so I searched it up and it meant the compulsive desire to have sex.

I laughed when I saw it. Just because I had a higher sex drive than others didn’t mean I had such a problem but he didn't hear anything of it and broke up as he couldn’t keep up with me. It wasn’t my fault he was a weakling.

I got turned on easily and I couldn’t be blamed for that. Whoever created me was responsible for how my body behaved. I sat across from the third man for the day who was droning on and on about himself. The last two dates I’d gone on today had ended badly and I was on my third.

I needed a boyfriend because if I didn’t have one, I’d resort to masturbating every day. I was going to be starting a new job soon so I wouldn’t have the time to find a one-night stand. I needed stability with a man.

“I used to play soccer back in high school, which is why I started going to the gym after I stopped to keep my body fit.”

I smiled politely as he went on about his soccer achievements in high school. From his personality, I could tell he wouldn’t be able to satisfy me in bed. He would only think about himself during sex so I’d crossed him off the list already.

I was frustrated. I would start working in two days and Tinder hadn’t been useful at all. Secretly bringing out my phone, I typed a code word to my best friend, and in no less than ten seconds, my phone started to ring.

The sound stopped him from his monologue.

I grimaced feigning annoyance at the interruption. “Sorry, I’ve got to take this.”

“Go ahead.”

I answered and brought the phone to my ear and I heard my best friend laugh. “Is the date that bad?”

I gasped theatrically. “Oh my God, Maya. I’ll be there shortly.”

“You owe me for this.”

“Of course. I’m on my way.” I hung up and looked at my date. “I’m so sorry, but my best friend has an emergency.”

“Oh, I could drop you off.”

“It’s fine. It’s rude of me to leave like this. I don’t want to bother you even more.” I said as I stood up, dropping the bill on the table.

“Text me when you get there.” He called out as I breezed out of the restaurant. I wasn’t planning on calling him when I got there. I wasn’t planning on calling him at all.

I released a sigh as I walked the short distance to the bus stop. He had been my last bet and it also failed. Why were men so damn narcissistic? He never once asked me anything about myself and continued talking about his heydays in high school. He was in his late twenties yet he still dreamt about high school.

I finished high school six years ago and could barely remember it.

When I finally arrived at the apartment Maya and I shared, I was tired as fuck. Maya started laughing as soon as I entered the apartment. “How do you go on three dates with three different guys and none of them are compatible with you.”

“Men are assholes,” I grumbled, taking off my shoes and collapsing on the chair beside her.

“Yet you want one of them in your asshole.” She snorted.

I threw a couch cushion at her. “Shut up.”

Maya and I met in college and she was one of the few people who didn’t judge me. We had other friends from college but we barely kept in touch. They all had busy lives and barely had time to meet. We were only able to meet once a month. I was the only one jumping from one job to another as well as from one relationship to another just because of my libido.

I didn’t understand why I was so different from the others, but I’d come to accept it. I tried to control it but it seemed like it controlled me instead and put me in trouble with most of my bosses. That was one of the reasons I needed a relationship as soon as possible. I had been accepted as a secretary in one of the biggest companies and I couldn’t fuck this up.

“What are you going to do?” Maya inquired. She knew just as much as I did how much of a problem it could be if I didn’t have sex regularly. It led a lot of men to call me colorful names, but I never gave a shit what they had to say about me in the first place.

“Buy a bigger dildo maybe.”

“How about we go to the club tonight?” She suggested.

Sure, I got horny really quickly but the club was filled with handsy men that I’d rather not deal with. “Not interested.”

“Come on, Abby.” She whined. “It’s a Saturday. You can sleep off your hangover tomorrow and you can also find a man to sleep with. I’m in the mood for some dancing.”

“Are you using me as an excuse to find someone to hook up with?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged.

I laughed, shaking my head.

“It wouldn’t hurt. You have your pepper spray and taser if you come across a man who doesn’t understand the word, no. And I’ll be there with you. We’ll have fun.”

“You will ditch me the moment you find a man that suits your taste.”

She gasped dramatically. “How do you know me so well?”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. The drinks are on you.” I had not started working yet so I didn’t have much money to spare.

“Deal. Let’s go and get ready.”

I groaned as she pulled me from the couch, but I agreed with her. It would not hurt.