Chapter 04

"Are you happy, Fayra? Masaya ka ba dahil nagkasakitan pa ang magkapatid kagabi ng dahil sa 'yo? 

Napangisi ako sa sinabing iyon ni Rose. Parehas kaming nasa may buffet ngayon. Mula sa gilid ng aking paningin ay kitang kita ko ang seryoso niyang ekspresyon habang pumipili ng kaniyang pagkain. 

Two days since we've been staying here, it's only now that the four of us have eaten at the same time. But it was interrupted because the two had a sudden meeting and were still at the hotel, so Rose and I were left alone. This is the ugliest morning and breakfast I've ever had.

When I finished choosing what to eat, I went to the table prepared for us. I didn't bother to give Rose a look because I feel like my blood is about to boil for her again, as the scenario of her being together with Mateo last night comes back to me.

"Nakuha mo na si Mateo, pinag-aaway mo pa ang dalawa. Ano ba talagang gusto mong mangyari, Fayra?" Tanong niya pa. 

I didn't answer even more. I don't feel like talking to her. I don't care what she thinks of me because right now all I know is that the two of them are doing worse than me by putting myself into this marriage that caused my title usurpation.

"Maging dito ba naman ay gusto mo dalawa ang atensyong nasa sa 'yo?" Bahagyang tumaas ang boses niya. 

Tuluyan niyang naagaw ang aking paningin. Napasandal ako sa upuan ko at nagpunas ng bibig habang ang mata'y nakapako sa kaniya. 

Hindi ko alam kung anong ipinuputok ng butsi ng isang ito. Sa katunayan nga ay siya ang may gusto ng atensyong sinasabi niya sa akin. Nagpapakalayo layo ako sa kanila, at siya naman ay nasosolo ang asawa ko habang sinosolo niya rin ang asawa niya. Sino ngayon ang sa aming dalawa ang takaw atensyon? 

Napangisi ako sa harapan niya. "Bakit kaya hindi mo tanungin ang sarili mo, Rose. Bakit ba hanggang dito ay gusto mong nasa sa 'yo ang atensyon ng asawa ko?" Balik na tanong ko't humarap muli sa aking pagkain. "Nagkasakitan sila dahil mas inuna ka ng asawa ko kaysa sa akin. Kung hindi mo nilalandi si Mateo, sana ay walang nangyaring gulo sa pagitan ng magkapatid." Pagpapatuloy ko't nilingon siya. 

Namumula ang pisngi nito na palatandaan na naaasar ito sa mga sinasabi ko. I know her too well, she can't never hide her reaction from me, lalo pa't simula't sapol ay mas matagal kaming naging magkaibigan. Hindi lang liko ng bituka niya ang kabisado ko, maging ang kaluluwa't buong pagkatao niya ay tandang tanda ko pa. 

"Are you saying that I'm a flirt?" Andoon ang inis sa boses niya. 

Nagkibit balikat ako. "If that's the correct word to describe what you've been doing, then..." I paused and smiled at her before continuing, "Yes, you are the most flirty flirt I've ever known, Rose." 

I was fixed even before Rose could respond when I noticed the two brothers from behind Rose. When they looked at us, their expressions were solemn. I immediately averted my gaze and pretended not to notice them. I want to warn Rose, but I can't right now. I already know what my fate will be later.

"If I'm a flirt, then what about you Fayra? A fucking backstabber and a wench, don't you?" Hamong tanong nito kahit pa siya na mismo ang nagbigay ng description para sa sarili ko. 

I can feel the footsteps of the brothers approaching. Even though I don't want to hit Rose, her description of me seems to go to my head. Wench? Why did I use my body just for Mateo? Even if that's the only choice they'll let me make during that time, I won't agree, even though I love Mateo. I have no intention of using my body just to get something or someone.

"Maybe I'm a backstabber, but I will never be a wench." Mahinang sambit ko na alam kong maririnig niya naman. 

Nakayuko lamang ako at pilit pinapakalma ang aking sarili dahil malapit na ang mga ito sa mismong likod ni Rose. 

"You are, Fayra. Isa kang p****k na handang mang-agaw para lang maging masaya. Kilala kita, you're so ambitious that you can even use your body para lang maagaw mo ang gusto---"

"Fayra!"

"Fayra!"

I released a strong slap on Rose's cheek, which was followed by the loud calling of my name by the two of them. Morgan quickly came to me and held me by the waist as if I was planning to attack Rose again. While Mateo is with Rose, who is now being comforted because she is crying.

Because of that scenario, I can feel my blood boiled. I confronted Morgan and pushed him hard, causing him to back away slightly. As soon as I faced them again, I drew my husband to my side and pushed Morgan towards Rose.

"Putangina, ito ang tamang ayos!" I yelled out of anger. 

Napatigil sa pag-iyak si Rose, maging si Morgan at Mateo ay bahagyang natigilan nang mapagtantong hindi tama ang naging ayos nila kanina. 

"Rose, what's happening here? Kanina ay halos hindi naman kayo nagkikibuan bakit ngayon naman ay ganito ang nadatnan namin?" Si Morgan ng makabawi. 

Payak akong natawa at napatingala. Iginalaw galaw ko ang aking panga hanggang sa mapatango tango ako at muling tinitigan si Rose. 

"Kailan man ay hindi ako gumamit ng katawan para lamang maagaw si Mateo sa 'yo, Rose. If I ever did that, tingin mo mararamdaman mo pa rin siya?" Pagtutukoy ko sa kanilang relasyon. Napakunot ang noo ni Morgan, halatang naguguluhan. 

Rose locked her gaze on me, and I could feel Mateo's hand all over my arm, gripping me tightly.

"Fuck, Fayra! Stop this!" He yelled, but in hushed tones.

Rose couldn't speak, so I took that time to somehow vent my anger on them.

"Wala akong inagaw sa 'yo. Kahit saang sulok mo tingnan, hindi ko inagaw si Mateo sa 'yo dahil umpisa pa lang ay wala namang kayo, hindi ba?" I smiled and moved in closer. Even though Mateo tried to stop me, I didn't budge. "Everyone knows that nothing intervened between the two of you before, other than the courting of you by not just one Vejar but four of them."

"Then what are you trying to say here, Fayra. Na porket manliligaw ko ay hindi na sa akin? Na may karapatan ka ng agawin sa akin, gano'n ba?" Gigil na tanong niya. 

I shook my head, disbelief of what I heard. Sinuyod ko ng tingin si Rose at si Morgan na nasa tabi niya na halos hindi na maiguhit ang reaksyon habang nakamasid sa akin. 

"Kahit kailan ay wala kang naging karapatan lalo na't nagpaligaw ka sa apat na Vejar, Rose. Ni isa sa kanila ay hindi naging parte mo dahil wala ka namang sinagot maski isa, kabilang ngayon sa asawa mo---"

"I said stop it Fayra! Nakakahiya ka na!" Mateo's words cut me like a knife. But I want them... he and she must face the truth.

Nanubig ang aking mga mata at tumalim ang aking paningin kay Rose. "Let's be honest here and try to figure out what the truth is between all of us, Rose. Mateo has never been a part of you, maybe as a suitor in the past, but never as a boyfriend or lover, and you should lighten up because you're the real wench here." 

After I said that, I left the restaurant without saying a word while I kept wiping away the tears that had completely escaped me.

Hindi ko gusto ang mga nasabi ko kay Rose, but she had pushed me to my breaking point. She knew I couldn't handle those words, but she still said them to me. I just wanted to eat quietly without minding her, but she pulled those triggering words on me. 

Mateo called to me from behind. But I didn't bother looking at him or waiting for him to come over because I knew he'd be furious and would chastise me for doing those things to his beloved.

"What have you done?! Are you really out of your fucking mind?" Nangigil si Mateo na sumugod sa akin pagkapasok na pagkapasok niya pa lang ng kwarto. 

Walang gana ko siyang tiningnan kahit pa tuloy tuloy lamang ang luha sa aking mga mata. 

I feel like a flower withering as a result of my husband's reaction today. It was as if he had been there before and had witnessed the entire incident, quickly comprehending what had happened. 

"N-Nasasaktan ako Mateo." Angal ko nang dakmahin niya ang aking braso papalapit sa kaniya. His fury is so extreme that I can feel it. Ang mga litid niya sa leeg ay unti unting nagsisilabasan habang ang kaniyang mga mata'y nagliliyab na sa galit.

"Why did you do that, huh?" Why did you hurt Rose and say such horrible things to her? Bakit Fayra, nasasaktan ka ba sa mga sinabi sa 'yo ni Rose? Hindi ba't 'yon naman ang totoo?" Pabulong ngunit naguumapaw ang suklam sa kaniyang boses. 

I took a deep breath and looked at him with teary eyes. "I'm not an w-wench, " I said between sobs. "I've never been a wench, Mateo."

Mateo chuckled as he tightened his hold on my arm. "Then what was supposed to describe you, Fayra? An angel who just consented to my grandfather's and your parents' wishes?" 

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig. "M-Mateo..."

"If you're not a wench, then why did you agree to become my wife in an exchange of a large amount that my grandfather offered to your family, huh?"

"You're unbelievable for saying that to my face, Mateo. You're so ruthless!" 

Mateo's gaw clenched and dragged me towards the bed. He then pushed me, which made me lie down on top.

"Whatever you say, my wife, but the truth remains the truth. You are paid to become my wife. My grandfather bought you to become my wife, that's the truth of all truth. And for you to lighten up that's already made you a wench."