Chapter 5

Elena’s POV

That evening, I arrived at the house of Tristan’s parents. In my bag is the gift… and the sonograms.

I panicked on the way there, but when I saw that his parents were waiting for me with warm smiles and their arms open for a hug, I started to calm down.

“Elena!” Catherine beams, pulling me into a tight hug as soon as I take a step on their porch. “Oh, how I missed you! How are you doing?”

“Give her some space, Catherine,” Richard suddenly says, coming up to me. “Let the girl give me a hug too. You’re not the only one who missed her.”

They both hug me, and I can’t help but tear up a little. I didn’t realize how starved I was of affection until I felt them with me like this. It almost feels like entering a warm, cozy house after months of wandering alone in the cold. A home.

The kind of home I once dreamed of having with Tristan.

A house full of warmth and laughter. That was one of my fantasies when I got married to Tristan. I figured that since he came from such a loving family, surely he would want to replicate that in his married life, right? 

I was wrong. My fantasy remained that way until it promptly died.

“It feels like forever since we saw you,” Catherine says, guiding me inside the mansion. “How are you? How are things with Tristan? Is he treating you well, my dear?”

That last question was pointed. It didn’t help that they’re both exchanging glances. 

However, before I can answer, a car pulls up in the driveway. I turn around, only to find Tristan getting out of the car. And of course, he’s helping Mira climb out of it.

My heart drops. But really, I don’t know what I was expecting. Of course they’re going to be here. It’s his parents’ anniversary.

Suddenly, the mood around Catherine and Richard shifts. They look at each other again, but this time, their expression doesn’t show concern. It’s disappointment.

“Catherine, Richard!” Mira immediately says, handing them both flowers. “Happy anniversary!”

Catherine doesn’t even bother to fake a thank you. “Mira. I didn’t know you would be here. I thought it’s just going to be Tristan and his wife.”

Mira is unfazed. “Tristan insisted I should go with him.”

“That’s lovely,” Richard says dryly. “You’re starting to show, Mira. How far along are you?”

Instead of Mira answering, Catherine cuts through her. “Well, she’s far along enough in her pregnancy that she should find someone to settle down with. Tristan is being a wonderful friend, but he’s not supposed to provide everything that a partner should. Right, Mira?”

Silence spreads through our little crowd. This is the first time I’ve seen Mira look embarrassed at anything, with her red cheeks. But of course, Tristan comes to her rescue.

“We should head inside,” he says, taking Mira’s arm and marching towards the house with her, not even sparing me a glance.

I don’t know if it’s his indifference or the fact that I didn’t get a wink of sleep, but as we’re walking, I feel a huge wave of nausea. It’s so bad that I can’t keep track of what Catherine and Richard are saying to me. It gets even worse at the dinner table. I can’t even touch the food, even though everything looks perfect.

When another wave hit me, I had to cover my mouth. I can feel my face completely draining of color.

“Honey, are you alright?” Catherine asks, rubbing my back. “Do you not like the food? Would you like to lie down?”

“I’m alright,” I just say. “The food is good. I just don’t feel well.”

“She doesn’t feel well,” Richard repeats to Tristan pointedly.

But Tristan is at the other side of the table, his attention shifted away from me as far as possible. He’s only looking at Mira, trying to coax her to eat more.

“You need more than just the salad,” Tristan is saying firmly. “You’re eating for two now. It’s not just for the baby, either. It’s for you. You need to be stronger, Mira.”

Richard goes red. “Tristan, your wife is over here—”

“It’s really okay, Richard,” I interject. 

I’m certain that Tristan can hear us. I know that he knows I don’t feel well. It’s just that he doesn’t believe me. 

And even if he did, he just doesn’t care.

“But he has to know,” Catherine tries to insist, but I shake my head.

They both look like they want to retort, but just then, the news report in the TV from the entertainment room comes alive with the evening news. Richard turns it up, just in time for the business headlines to finish and the entertainment headlines to come in.

“…D-list actress seen about and about with the Oscar winner, cozying up in the coasts of Italy. The actor was seen exiting the divorce court yesterday with his wife and newborn son….”

Hearing the headline brought silence to the table, even at Tristan and Mira’s side.

“That’s awful!” Catherine exclaims, putting a hand to her chest as she looks over at Tristan. “I bet that woman is doing it for his money!”

“Why else?” Richard huffs, taking a piece of stake and stuffing it into his mouth. “Women like that don’t know any bounds. They would do anything for money, even break apart a new family. What do you think, Tristan?”

“I think it’s poor taste to discuss some actress’s affair at the dinner table for your anniversary,” Tristan says blandly. 

Next to him, Mira seems to be shrinking. She starts to lean against him, whispering something in his ear. I don’t take my eyes off them. But neither of them can look at me.

Catherine leans across the table to look at Tristan. “Do you remember that, Tristan? When you were only eight and someone tried to take your dad from us for money? Remember how angry you were then? Surely it would make you more cautious of certain women….”

With that, she trails off and drifts her gaze towards Mira, who can’t look up at any of us.

The tension in the room is rising. It takes my anxiety up along with it.

“It’s an awful thing,” Catherine continues. “That’s why you should cherish Elena and forget every other woman—”

“Mom.” Tristan’s voice is a chunk of ice. “What are you implying? Why can’t you speak plainly? What the fuck is your problem—”

“Tristan!” Richard shoots to his feet. “My study. NOW!”

Tristan’s jaw tightens. But he never disobeys Richard. That’s just how heavy his authority is. Tristan gets up and follows him.

My throat closes up. Suddenly the edges of my vision are white and I feel like I’m not getting enough air.

“May I be excused?” I blurt out, sliding off my seat before Catherine can answer. “I just… I really need some air.”

With that, I head out to the balcony. I didn’t realize just how suffocating everything is until I have fresh air around me. I inhale deeply, closing my eyes for a moment. 

This has been… awkward. Bad. I thought I would just get the chance to have a good time with Tristan’s parents before I part ways with him for good, but Mira’s presence ruined that again.

I look out into the garden, my chest already tight with longing. Catherine and Richard have always been nice to me. They were the parents I never had.

“… why is she in your life again?”

The muffled sound of Richard’s frustration makes me freeze. I look up, only to realize that I’m standing right below his office window.

And his conversation with Tristan is filtering out.

“What’s going on?” Richard booms. “Why… what’s the situation with her pregnancy, hm?”

“My business is my business.” Tristan is firm. “You are my father, but I don’t owe you anything.”

“Jesus Christ.” I can hear Richard pacing helplessly from here. “Do you not understand the situation, Tristan? Do you not see what it looks like? Because I do. Your mom and I do. It looks like you’re abandoning your wife over some other woman. And that should never happen!”

“Mira isn’t just some other woman.”

My hands clench tight. Of course she isn’t. I’m the outsider here.

“But she is!” Richard exhales sharply. “At this stage of your marriage with Elena, you should be having children! You should actively be trying!”

It’s Tristan who sighs. But this time, it sounds a little different. He doesn’t seem angry or frustrated. Just… resolute.

And his next words tell me why.

“I don’t want to have children with Elena.”

I didn’t think my heart still had room to break. But it just did. More tiny pieces. More pain.

My feet take me where my heart can’t go—away.

I stagger back inside, my hand crawling up to my belly. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, but I can’t even bring myself to wipe them off.

So it’s over.

Even if I tell Tristan about my pregnancy, it’s not going to change anything. Because the fact of the matter is, he never even thought about having children with me.

I can’t be here. I can’t attach myself to Catherine and Richard even more now that I know the divorce should go through.

I take out the sonograms from my pocket and tear them up into shreds, leaving them at the trash can in the balcony. I don’t bother going back to the dining room. I just exit through the back door and leave, driving home blinking back tears.

When I get home, the house is dark. But it’s like I can see everything. All the traces of my sacrifice to this marriage. The clean house, all the furniture that I had to pick out alone. The pressed clothes, the food in the pantry, even the color of paint on the walls. 

I had to do it all alone. I had to build this home alone.

But everything was still according to Tristan’s taste.

I have no identity in this house. Nothing about this place has my mark. Not even my own clothes. I modeled everything to his liking, even myself.

I sit in the corner, tears silently falling down my cheeks. I don’t know how long I sat there, but soon enough, Diane shows up.

“Miss, are you alright?” she asks, her face full of concern. “You’re cold. Let me get you out of there—”

“No,” I whisper. “I have to get out of here.”

It’s the truest thing I have ever said to myself.  

With that, I pack all my stuff into a suitcase. I didn’t realize how little I had until I fit it all in one luggage. Carrying that down the stairs, I get the car ready and leave even though I have no idea where to go.

Just away, I repeat to myself as I get into the road. Rain is starting to fall, and everything feels like a dream. Still, I drive and drive until I reach the highway.

The roar of the other cars is loud and welcome. I just keep going….

But then, a car swerves into my lane from the front, its tires screeching as it loses control.

There’s a big flash of light. I look away. Suddenly I hear the sound of metal being bent, the sound of glass exploding everywhere. Shards rain on me. I get thrown to the side, my car careening off the road.

And then pain explodes in my body.

In my belly.

“No,” I say to myself, but I’m almost blind with pain. I reach for my phone and I see a smear of red on my arm. I don’t know if it’s blood. My mind just tells me to dial Tristan’s number, and he answers immediately. “Tristan….” I start to say.

But he cuts through me. “I’m busy right now, Elena. Let’s talk when I get back.”

With that, he ends the call.

I try to dial his number again, but I’m quickly losing strength. My limbs are weak. My head is spinning. My vision is disappearing, and the pain in my heart feels greater than ever.

Everything is going dark. Going, going, going….

Until it’s gone.