Silver Sion

Breathe it was all I could think. Just breathe. The tears ran down my face, but no sound escaped my mouth. I didn’t want her to find us. My little brother Cedar was shaking in my lap. Warm liquid leaked onto me. I didn’t care we were going to stay hidden this time. 

“Lucrezia. Luuuuccrrrrreeeezia. I know you can hear me. Lucrezia! Come out right now.” Her voice boomed so loudly my whole body shook. I had to just wait it out. She would grow tired. Maybe cedar and I would get lucky and she would stay out all night, but at this moment we had to wait her out. I could hear her overturning the little bit of furniture that we had. She snarled, I could just picture her red face. Her angry glassy eyes. The smell of alcohol permeating her clothes. I just had to wait. Wait, that is what I have always done. Wait for my mother to change, wait for my brother to grow up, and wait for the moment I could escape. 

“Lucrezia I’ll burn this fucking house down. Come out now! You sorry piece of shit. Where is my baby? You give him back to me. Where is little Cedar? Cedar come to mommy. I want a hug.” I could hear her footsteps stop. She was listening for us. I held my breath. This was the only place that she didn’t know about a break in the wall just big enough for my brother and I to fit. Had we been properly fed it wouldn’t have been possible. But the neglect allowed for the perfect hiding spot. Soon the screaming stopped. I waited even longer. Waited for what felt like hours. The house grew cold. If I didn’t start the fire we would surely freeze. Slowly I unfolded from around Cedar. His small whimper broke my heart. The cold had set into my joints making them stiff. Being curled up in our hidey hole for so long wasn’t winning me any favors with my joints either. I peaked my head out to find the mess mother had left. I truly hoped she had not found my little stash. I had enough to buy some bread for Cedar and I tonight. I ran to the kitchen if you could call it that. It was a small open space that held a few cupboards with the fireplace just on the other side of the room. If I laid down and stretched I could almost touch the other wall. All of the cupboards were left open. Everything we had thrown about. I picked up the jar that had held the money. It was empty. I had saved that money knowing we were going to need it. We hadn’t eaten in days. She had been home and had company. I would not give my meager earnings to men who were what everyone called ramble. I looked over at my baby brother. His tiny body was shaking in the doorway. His dirty face smeared with tears leaving streaks in their path.His brown hair stuck to his forehead. His clothes were worn holes at almost every juncture in the cloth. His trousers were wet and a huge stain covered his upper thighs. I put my hand over my mouth and wept. I had no choice any longer. I was no longer a child. I wouldn’t let him starve. I could have run off with the cobbler's son, but he refused to take Cedar. I breathed in. I wanted these to be my last tears.

I ran to the only room in the house, my mothers. I stripped down and doused myself in her perfume that I hated. She got so many friends with it even though I couldn’t stand it I knew that men liked it. 

“Luc what are you doing mommy will be mad.” My brother called me from the main room. I slipped on a dress my mother wore on her nights out sometimes. The thing was big in all the wrong places, but I didn’t care. The thick straps kept falling from my shoulders. The color was a light gray with mystery stains along the hem. I pushed my thick mop of hair behind my shoulders. My collar bone needed to be on display. I knew one place that I could make a good bit of money so I could get my brother and I out of here. I had no shoes so barefoot had to do. I walked into the living space. My brother was huddled in the corner. I picked him up and cradled him to my chest. 

“It’s going to be okay, Cedar. I promise. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you ever again.” I pushed open the thin piece of wood we called a door. The sun was setting over the horizon. The cold bit into my body the moment I stepped out of the home I had grown up in. It was going to take thirty minutes to get to the pleasure district. I walked the familiar winding road. Watching over my shoulder. I didn’t want to run into my mother. She would certainly kill me if she found out. I trudged through the cold mud. Beautiful white snow reflected the pink sky. It was the prettiest I had ever seen. This must be a good omen. The gods were looking favorably on me. My feet felt like they would fall from my body by the time I made it to the pleasure district. Everybody here looked like they had bathed and ate regularly. Women were standing outside of buildings beckoning men into the brothels. Others were standing near luminaires staring off looking at nothing. My heart was pounding in my chest. I needed to make it further into the pleasure district. The stretch of road I was looking for was called the pink satin. Rich leers were said to stick to the part of the pleasure district. If I were going to give myself without love then I was going to make sure that it was with someone who had the money. Leers or non-humans tended to have money if they made it all the way into Rezzidel. As I walked I became aware of how over my head this situation was. Men were lifting the dresses of the women that they handed money to. Right there in the open. I kept Cedar's head facing me. I didn’t want him to be exposed to this. I couldn’t risk leaving him at the house and then mother coming back. I lifted my chin higher. I could do this. I tried not to make eye contact with any of these men. I needed money but I needed more than just a few short silvers. I needed gold.  So I walked leaving footprints behind me. The pink satin road was named literally it seemed. Pink was draped on every surface. The road was no longer a muddy mess. It was a soft pink stone inlay with gold. I had never seen anything like it in all of my life. I felt so out of place. My heart was still beating so hard I could practically hear it. There were less women on the streets here. Carriages lined one side of the street. Some had horses attached to them. I was trying to steady my breathing. Men dressed in finery walked past me. Entering buildings with real doors and windows. I walked over to a beautiful cerulean building and touched the window. It was warm. I let that warmth leak into my hand. I sighed in relief.