LOGINAs a man, you never expected that the love of your life would be a man. Together you overcome your fears and take a boat trip. But then things go horribly wrong. What is destiny, and can you change it through time travel?
View MoreWhen I ring the bell at Tim's house, I wonder why I didn't stop by sooner. Why did I go back to the lake first when the evidence I left for Tim in the past was never really discussed with him? I shift my focus from why to how now. I intend to get confirmation that Tim fully stands behind me and believes me. Who knows what we can achieve if we work together on time travel. When Tim opens the door his face is pale, he has bags under his eyes and he looks serious. I totally forget what my intentions are, all attention is focused on how bad Tim looks.“Tim! What’s wrong?”“Come in, I have something to tell you,” he replies, stepping aside to let me in. I feel nervous, I've never seen Tim like this. Tim's look gets even more serious as he starts talking, “Yesterday I went to the hospital for an examination. Various inflammatory values have been found in my blood, and my liver, kidney and intestinal functions are reduced.”“Wow, that's pretty intense. How is that
"Gosh what a mess," Susan grumbles as she tries to clean up. "Alex, how can you live in this pigsty?" she doesn't ask, she condemns. I shrug. My head feels messy. I'm still trying to get a handle on everything. And cleaning up is very low on the priority list. "Don't clean up for me, I'll do it myself when I get back,” I hope to reinforce my words by taking the things from her hands and putting them back in the clutter. She looks startled, "Back? Where are you going?”I mumble softly, “To the lake …”"The lake again?!" ignites Susan, "You can't be serious! I don't understand why you keep going there. And I don't think it's good for your grieving process. Get your life in order here first!” She crosses her arms and looks at me sternly. I lower my eyes, I don't know what to say. After a moment of silence, her voice softens when she asks, “Alex, why do you keep wanting to go to the lake? What's there?” For a moment I toy with the idea of telling her, but something
My phone keeps vibrating in my pocket, it's driving me crazy. Susan tries to call me endlessly and has left at least 100 texts. I don't feel like talking anymore. I understand Susan is concerned. After my last trip to the lake, my life is just as messed up as before. But this is what I need to do, and I won't let concern hold me back. Admittedly, spending days in the local library browsing through an abundant amount of time travel books and forgetting to eat properly may not be very healthy. But everyone should be happy that I'm regularly going out again. Apart from my hikes to the lake, I hardly ever left home. Before time-travelling, when I was still constantly at home, Susan, especially, often stopped by. Not a day went by without her coming over with food, a book about mourning, or fresh flowers to brighten up my house. I think she still comes by often, because when I come home from the library, there is almost always something from her on my doorstep. I appreciate her c
Tim gives me a sturdy hug."I think it's too difficult a situation to believe you, Alex. But I believe that you believe it, and maybe that's enough for now ...” I feel so discouraged. I so desperately want Tim to know it's real. But it's no use, I can't prove it. Tim has even decided to return. I don't want to come, I'm not ready yet.“It'll be fine," Tim tries to reassure me, "We'll both find our way.” Despite my despair, I have to smile.“So you let the gnomes show you the way back,” I say teasingly. He playfully bumps into my arm, "Yes of course.” I feel sad that he's leaving me, but maybe it's okay. I get too caught up in my confusion between old and present feelings towards him. I need to focus clearly on my mission again. We both walk our own way, him home, me to the lake. During my hike through the beautiful nature, courage slowly returns. The glass is half full. I may not have been able to prove to Tim what is possible, but I was able to change something
My flashlight illuminates the edge of the lake where I am to warm up. I had to get up to avoid freezing to the bench. My head has no patience, but my body still feels tired from the earlier time travel. I realize that going through the emotions and thoughts of the past again asks a lot of me. I f
I toss and turn in my sleeping bag. I don’t want to be back in the tent at all. I want to have shown Tim that I disappear when I time travel, I want to have proven to Tim that time travel is really possible. We've barely talked since the failed attempt. Tim didn't immediately want me to try again
Despite the long cold hike to the lake, I feel rested and clear. I feel confident that time travel will succeed again this time. I sit on the bench in the boat again."So what exactly do you do?" asks Tim doubtfully. His skin looks pale from the cold and fatigue. I smile at him, glad he made t
This is where it happened. I gaze at the lake. I've been overwhelmed with guilt since that day. I feel responsible for his death. I should have saved him. I'm the reason he's gone. Survivor Guilt is what the psychologist called it. But it’s not just that I’m still alive, I should have prevented h






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