تسجيل الدخولFor a second, my heart actually stopped.
The way Kai was looking at me... the way his thumb brushed my cheek like he didn't even realize he was doing it. It felt like he was about to say something real. Like ... maybe he felt it too. I swallowed hard, and this stupid, dangerous little hope started flickering in my chest. But then he pulled his hand back like I burned him. "You're not unwanted, Kid. You're just young. You've got time. You don't need to settle for guys like him." Kid. The word hit me so hard I almost flinched. I felt my face go hot. Of course. That's all I am to him. Just the kid he has to look out for. The same little stepsister he used to mess with when we were younger. Nothing more. I let out this weak little laugh and looked away fast. "Right," I muttered. "Yeah... you're right." Kai didn't say anything else. He just sighed and ran a hand through his hair like he was tired of this whole thing. "Come on. Let's go inside." I followed him without arguing. My chest felt heavy as hell. I kept my eyes on the ground the whole walk back to the house, replaying that moment over and over. For one second, I really thought he wanted me. How fucking stupid was that? Once we got inside, I didn't even wait. I just mumbled something about needing to shower and went straight upstairs to my room. I didn't want to be around him right now. Not when I felt this raw. I shut my door and sat on my bed, staring at the floor. My phone was lighting up nonstop on the nightstand. I ignored it at first, but after a while the notifications kept coming, so I picked it up. That's when I saw it. A picture. Ryan, with his arm around some girl. They looked cozy as fuck. The post was from a couple days ago. I scrolled through the comments and felt my stomach twist. People were already talking. Some were asking if we broke up. Others were saying they saw them together last week. I just sat there, staring at my phone like an idiot. He didn't even wait. He cheated and moved on like I was nothing. Like I was easy to replace. Something in my chest cracked open. I thought about my dad. How fast he was gone. How my mom remarried and built this whole new life while I still felt like I was standing on the outside of it. How Kai had always been there, but never the way I wanted. And now even Ryan, someone I didn't even really care about, had found someone else without thinking twice. I was so fucking easy to leave. Unwanted. Forgettable. Replaceable. My breathing started getting fast and shallow. I tried to calm down, but it was like my body wasn't listening. My hands were shaking. My vision got blurry at the edges. I pressed my palms against my eyes, but the panic was already hitting full force. I couldn't breathe right. I felt like I was disappearing. I curled forward on the bed, gripping the sheets, trying to ride it out. Tears were coming now, hot and angry. I hated this. I hated feeling like this. Like no matter what I did, I'd always be the one people could walk away from. By the time the panic attack finally eased up, I felt completely drained. Empty. I sat there for a long time, just breathing, until the ache in my chest turned into something dull and heavy. I didn't want to feel like this anymore. So I went downstairs and grabbed a bottle from the cabinet. My parents were gone anyway. They wouldn't notice. I took it back to my room and didn't even bother with a glass. I just drank straight from the bottle, letting the burn distract me. The more I drank, the quieter everything got. But at the same time, the want I usually tried to ignore got louder. I kept thinking about Kai. About how we shouldn't even be step-siblings and how ridiculous this whole situation was. About how bad I wanted him to fuck me so deep and rough I could barely breathe. My panties were already fucking soaked just thinking about it. Everything felt so wrong, but I couldn't stop. I was a mess. A complete, desperate mess. I took another long drink and stared at my ceiling. The alcohol was making everything feel blurry and warm. My inhibitions were gone. All the reasons why I shouldn't want him didn't seem to matter as much anymore. I thought about going downstairs. Or texting him. Or doing something really fucking stupid. Before I could talk myself out of it, I got up. My legs felt unsteady, but I didn't care. I walked out of my room and headed down the hallway toward Kai's room. His door was slightly open, light spilling out into the dark hallway. 'So he canceled practice, huh?' My heart started beating faster. I stopped right in front of his door, knowing I shouldn't go in. I was drunk, emotional, and probably about to make everything ten times worse. But I couldn't stop myself. I pushed the door open a little more. Kai was sitting on the edge of his bed in just a pair of gray sweats, scrolling on his phone. He looked up the second he heard me. Our eyes met. For a moment, neither of us said anything. Then I stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind me. Kai sat up straighter, his eyes narrowing as he took in how unsteady I looked. "Isla... What are you doing?" I didn't answer right away. I just stood there, staring at him, my heart pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears. And then, before I could stop myself, the words slipped out. "I don't want to be just your kid anymore."“Shh! We’ll talk about that later, okay?”I turned back to the rink, my pulse quickening as Asher darted after the puck. He got there a split second before the defender, hooked it with his stick, and spun away, sending a sharp pass across the ice.Kai was in position. He caught it on the blade of his stick and fired toward the net. The goalie stretched out, but the shot slipped past his glove and rattled the mesh.The crowd erupted.“YES!”People jumped to their feet around me, screaming and pounding on the seats as Kai threw his arms into the air.Kai lifted his stick as his teammates rushed toward him. Asher skated over and bumped his helmet against Kai’s in celebration, both of them laughing.Then Asher glanced toward the stands. His gaze found mine almost instantly. He smiled, and my heart skipped before I could stop it.Sarah slowly turned toward me, her grin returning. “Oh, you’re in trouble.” I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my smile. “Just watch the game.” “I am watching,” s
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. The words sat heavy on my tongue, and Sarah’s knowing smile only made it worse. She opened her mouth to push harder, but a sudden roar of voices from the courtyard cut her off. Students were streaming past the windows, voices rising, phones already out. “Hockey game starts in twenty,” someone shouted. “Mercer’s playing.” Sarah’s eyes lit up. “Oh, we’re going.” “I have class—” “No, you don’t. And even if you did, you’re not missing this.” She hooked her arm through mine and dragged me toward the exit before I could invent another excuse. Outside, the autumn air bit at my cheeks. The university arena sat on the far side of campus, a sleek glass-and-steel building that always looked too polished for the chaos that happened inside it. By the time we reached the steps, the crowd had already gathered. Students in team colors mixed with alumni waving foam fingers, while a few local reporters moved through the crowd with cameras. Popcorn scented the chil
I immediately slapped a hand over my neck. “No.”Sarah stared at me, unconvinced and I stared back. She slowly lifted one eyebrow.“That was the least convincing ‘no’ I’ve ever heard.”“It’s not what you think.”“Oh, really?” She leaned closer, lowering her voice. “Because it looks exactly like what I think.”I glanced down the hallway. Students were still rushing toward their classrooms, and thankfully, neither Kai nor Asher was anywhere in sight.“Okay.” She lowered her coffee. “What happened?”“Nothing.”“Isla.”I sighed. “It was a stupid accident.”“A stupid accident that left a mark on your neck?”“Yes.”“With a person?”I growled, “Sarah, I swear…”She grinned, clearly enjoying every second of my misery. Before she could interrogate me again, the warning bell rang.“Saved by the bell,” I muttered.We hurried into the history building and slipped through the classroom doors just before the professor closed them. My sneakers squeaked against the polished floor as I hurried to my
I threw the blanket off, yanked on the first clean clothes I could find—black jeans, a soft pink t-shirt that still smelled a little like rain—and shoved my feet into sneakers. My pixie hair was a mess, sticking up in every direction, but there was no time to fix it. I grabbed my bag, phone, and jacket then bolted downstairs.Kai was already in the kitchen. He stood at the counter in a black t-shirt and sweatpants, hair still damp from a shower, making coffee like nothing had happened last night. The second he saw me, his eyes softened… then darkened when they landed on the faint mark on my neck that the t-shirt didn’t quite cover.“You’re late,” he said quietly.“I know.” I didn’t look at him. “Sarah’s already texted three times. Exam’s in twenty minutes.”He set the coffee mug down. “I’ll drive you.”I hesitated.Part of me wanted to decline his invitation. I could have taken the bus, walked, called Sarah, or done anything that wouldn’t leave me alone in a car with him after last
Kai jolted like I’d just shocked him with electricity straight to his chest.“Isla… I… I…”I bit my lip, watching him stumble over his words. Here he went again with that stupid hesitation that always left me feeling confused and embarrassed. The rain was still pouring outside, but the storm inside the car felt even louder.“Stop embarrassing yourself, Kai,” I snapped, my voice cracking. “If you don’t mean it, don’t even start!”I unbuckled my seatbelt in one quick motion and rushed out of the car, rain soaking me instantly. I didn’t care. The cold droplets mixed with the hot tears stinging my eyes as I ran toward the house.“Isla, wait!”I heard Kai screaming behind me, but I didn’t stop. My feet pounded up the stairs, straight to my room. I slammed the door shut and locked it, leaning against the wood, breathing hard.This silliness had to end here. This heartbreaking, foolish wanting for my stepbrother… it had to stop, whatever it took!I slid down to the floor, hugging my knees t
"Kai, please pick me up."The words slipped out before I could stop them. I didn't reply to Kai's messages with another text. Instead, I called him, clearly out of my mind. I didn't even know why I asked him that. Maybe because he was the only one who had ever really been there for me, even when things were messy. Or maybe... because deep down, no matter how angry I was, Kai still felt like home. My only rescuer right now.The line went quiet for a second."I'm coming," he said, voice rough but immediate. "Stay where you are. I'll be there in ten."I hung up and stood outside Asher's building, the cool night air hitting my skin. My legs felt shaky. The hickey on my neck throbbed like a reminder of how close I'd come to making a huge mistake. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold it together.Then the sky opened up.Rain poured down suddenly, heavy and cold, soaking me in seconds. The streetlights blurred through the downpour, turning everything gloomy and gray.Perfect. Jus







