Suppression Of The Tamed

The fall of dry leaves touching my skin as it passes, while the wind whispers sweet nothings from time to time, feels like my fleeting memories of the past.

The time when we were at Casa Lupin, the green scenery of the town mixed with the fiery color of the sun. Our people, may they be young or old, are filled with laughter and smiles. When a simple illness can be treated abruptly by the fresh air the Tree of Life gives us.

I tiptoed, stretching my arms and body up high, trying to win against the giant trees surrounding me. Thinking maybe if I pass all these humongous barriers, I will be able to see my homeland again. But every time I do that, I always fail, and to add up, Casa Lupin will never be the same as before. The west part of the Missarati is the only place that reminds me of those times. The only difference is that this place is darker than the old Casa Lupin. I exhaled deeply, lowering my arms and flattening down my heels.

Bakit ang tagal yata ni Niko?

Lumabas ako rito para sana salubungin siya pagbalik sa paghahanap ng hayop na makakain namin sa loob ng isang linggo. Hapon pa lang nang umalis siya kanina kaya alam kong hindi siya magtatagal ngayon pero kahit anino niya ay hindi ko pa nakikita pabalik.

I activated my senses to search for the whole area but there's no sign of him.

Baka naman nalingatan ko lang? Siguro ay nakauwi na siya nang hindi ko napapansin.

Nilingon kong muli ang paligid na nagpapaalala sa akin ng Casa Lupin noon, habang tumatagal ay unti-unti ring bumabangon sa utak ko ang huling alaala sa lugar kaya minabuti kong umuwi na rin, mag-isa pa naman ang Lola.

"Lola?" Pagbukas ng pinto ay kita ko agad ang kabuuan ng munting kubo na nagsilbing bahay namin sa loob ng tatlong taon.

Ang ngiting nakaplaster sa mukha ko pagpasok ay nawala dahil kahit anong gawing pikit at dilat ko, si Lola nga lang ang nasa loob at walang Nicholas sa paligid.

"Oh, nakauwi ka na? Si Niko?" Tayo ni Lola Helene sakanyang upuan.

"Tatanungin ko rin po sana kayo, hindi pa po siya umuuwi?" Tanong ko pabalik.

"Ha? E, akala ko ba sasalubungin mo? Wala pa rin hanggang ngayon?" Tanong niya rin sa akin pabalik. "Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi ko, e. Ilang ulit kong sinasabihan 'yung batang 'yon na mag-ingat pero tignan mo, parang wala lang sa kanya! Hindi naman niya makakayan-kayanan lang iyong dami ng sundalong nakapaligid sa atin. Sa dulo baka matulad pa siya sa mga kapamilya niyang nakuha at pinahirapan hanggang sa..."

"Lola." Pigil ko sa lumalawak at lumalayo niyang pag-iisip. Kahit ako ay natatakot na agad dahil lang sa late na pag-uwi ni Niko.

I kept on burying those memories at the back of my mind but no matter what I do, they are always hunting us.

Tatlong taon na rin naming kasama si Niko simula nang mawala ang pamilya niya. Alam ko kung anong klaseng hirap ang dinanas niya dahil pareho kaming maagang nangulila sa magulang.

"Hay Naku! 'Wag naman sana." Bawi ni Lola sa mga nasabi, she looks at me apologetically. "Huwag mong masyadong isipin ang mga sinabi ko, mabuti pa magpahinga ka na muna dahil pagod ka kakahintay sa labas. Paggising mo baka nandito na 'yon."

"Pero, La..." I'm worried. I tried to check him using my senses again but I can't even find a faint of his smell. "I can't sense him." If something happens to him I will immediately know. Ang sabi niya sa malapit lang siya mangangaso.

"You can't sense him kasi pagod ka at isa pa, you're not on your beast form so your senses will be weak. Magpahinga ka muna ngayon at subukan mo ulit mamaya, mahina na rin ang pandama ko dahil alam mo na, matanda na ko kaya ikaw na lang pag-asa ni Niko. Magpahinga ka na, okay?" Her soothing and persuading voice somehow calms me.

I tried resting and let the darkness swallow me.

"Feronia." A trembling voice calls me. "Feronia." She called again while shaking my body with her trembling hands. A faint scream can be heard outside.

"Lola?" I tried to open my still sleepy eyes.

"Ma!" Padabog na bumukas ang pinto at niluwa nito si mama na mabilis ang paghinga. "Hayaan na natin ang mga gamit dito at umalis na tayo agad. Feronia, anak..." Lumipat ang mata niya sa akin na puno ng takot.

Agad siyang lumapit at niyakap ako, ang kaninang tulog kong diwa ay agad na nagising. Rinig ang malayong sigawan sa labas, kahit hindi ko alam ang kabuuan na pangyayari, labis na agad ang gulat at takot ko.

"Ma, anong nangyayari?" Tanong ko habang yakap ang umiiyak na ina sa aking balikat. Tinignan ko si Lola at pati siya ay tahimik ding umiiyak hawak ang likod ni mama. Nang kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin, pinunasan niya ang kanyang luha at hinawakan nang maigi ang aking dalawang kamay.

"Kahit anong mangyari, sumunod ka sa lola mo. Huwag na huwag kang gagawa ng ingay o kahit na paglingon hanggat hindi ka nakakalayo sa Casa Lupin."

"Aalis tayo? Nasaan sina papa at lolo?"

Tila ba nahihirapan lumunok si mama bago sumagot. "May kaguluhan at hindi pagkakaintindihan sa labas. Alam mo naman ang mga hindi natin katulad, takot sila sa atin kaya nasa labas sina papa mo para ayusin ang gulo at protektahan tayo."

"At kapag hindi naayos ang gulo? Ma, hindi na ko bata. Inaatake tayo diba? Gusto nila tayong patayin." I said with fury.

"Oo! Kaya sumunod ka na lang sa lola mo, okay? Lumabas na kayo rito." Hindi na nakayanan ni mama ang nag-uumapaw na emosyon sa kaloob-looban niya kaya't nagmakaawa na lang siyang umalis na kami.

"Sina papa...iiwan natin sila?"

My mother closed her eyes deeply and when she opened them, pure desperation could be seen. "Kailangan."

Unbelievable.

I loathed her for making that kind of decision. Kung ako ang masusunod, hindi ko iiwan ang pamilya ko. Hindi pwedeng ako lang ang maliligtas dahil anong silbi ng buhay kung ako lang din naman mag-isa? And so I tried to slow us down in the hope of having papa and lolo with us.

"Bakit hindi tayo kukuha ng gamit? Aalis tayong walang dala?"

"This isn't the time to pack our things, we're not moving out." Matigas na sabi ni mama.

"Oh yeah, but this sure is the time to be selfish."

"Feronia." Suway ni lola.

"I don't care in whatever you think of me but I want you to behave and leave with us right now." Hinatak ni mama ang braso ko kaya napilitan na rin akong sumama sa kanila.

We ran as fast as we could in our human form.

"My feet hurt! Why don't we change form, it's more comfortable and faster in beast form than like this." I whined but they won't stop. I tried to look back to find my grandfather and father. We're really leaving them behind.

My heart started to ache when I saw how large the wildfire that's consuming our town. My family and friends are there. It's getting hard to breathe.

My mother noticed my situation so she was forced to change her form. My anger rises when I figured she'll do everything to escape, just to save herself. Me and my grandmother ride at her back, holding onto her fur, I clenched my fist hard. Bigla siyang tumigil sa pagtakbo at agad niya kaming binaba galing sakanyang likod.

Why? Did you not like what I did? Iiwan mo na rin ba kami gaya nang pag-iwan mo kina papa? How petty. I glared at her with my teary eyes. Agad akong hinablot ni lola at nagtago sa likod ng nagtatayuang mga bato at puno. It was so dark that I'm so sure no one can ever see us unless they also have our senses.

A loud growl interrupted my thoughts. Si mama. Tunog nang paglatay sa balat ang sunod kong narinig matapos lumapit ang tunog ng mga tumutunog na metal at mga kabayo. My mother continued to growl and soon enough screams of men were heard but it didn't last. Slashes of the sword were heard one after another piercing through someone's skin. As if answering whose flesh it is, my mother's growl turned into cries.

Para bang tumigil ang paghinga ko sa bawat tawa ng mga lalaking naroon. My mother's cries stopped but the sound of piercing flesh didn't. My heart starts to crumble as I imagine what kind of things are happening back there. Gamit ang nanginginig na kamay, tinakpan ni lola ang magkabilang tenga ko. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang naghihirap siyang pigilan ang sariling hagulgol.

I tried to activate my senses for my mother but what I got was a sense of a beast near us, a different smell from my mother. It's strong but sweet, almost intoxicating for me to bear. But all I could think of is that...he'll help us. He should help us. Based on my senses, he's strong enough to kill those people who are after us.

"Tama na 'yan. Hindi na 'yan mabubuhay kaya iwan niyo na lang diyan. Panigurado..." Someone suddenly spoke.

The smell starts to get closer, footsteps of that wolf are reaching towards where we're hiding. Nilingon kong muli si lola pero masyado na ang panghihina niya para malaman ang nangyayari sa paligid ngayon.

"...Marami pang nakakalat sa paligid, nagtatago." The voice is very near, it almost sounds like it knows where we are hiding.

A grip on my hand made my heart leap but he immediately shushed me so I won't make a noise.

His bright brown eyes are shaking underneath the dark shadows we are hiding, I can sense his fear and awareness of the people around him but he still manages to approach and save us away from those people who almost caught us.

The one who always thinks about the others' lives instead of his, Nicholo Lewis.