III. Van

We stood still, staring at the full carriage in front of us.

"Dinala niyo ba buong bahay niyo?" The crown prince asked with his eyebrows meeting together.

I became more ashamed every second that pass. Mahalaga ang bawat gamit namin sa bahay kaya naman wala kaming iniwan na kahit isa, hindi naman kami makakabili ng pamalit na gamit sa kabisera.

Si lola ang unang pumasok sa karwahe, sakto na ang loob sa isang tao kasama ang mga gamit namin. Sinubukang itabi ni lola ang ibang gamit pero mas lalo lang sumikip.

She smiled awkwardly at me. "Kandong na lang kita."

"Sasabit na lang po ako." Suhestyon ko.

The people around my grandma and I stared ridiculously at us.

"Tama, buksan na lang ang bintana para makakapit ka nang maayos." Suhestyon pa ng isa sa mga kabalyero habang pilit pinipigilan ang pagtawa.

"Hindi! Kasya pa rito." Pilit ni lola kahit na kitang-kita na kung gaano kasikip ang looban.

Hinawakan ko ang pinto ng karwahe at sinara ito. Habang hinahanap ko kung saan ako tatapak, nagsalita ang prinsipe.

"Sumama ka sa'kin." Utos niya na agad ko namang sinunod.

Akala ko may isa pa silang tinatagong nakahandang karwahe kaya bumuti ang pakiramdam ko pero nang makita ko kung ano ang sasakyan ko, lalo lang itong lumala.

Halos dalawang beses ang laki sa'kin ng hayop na nasa harapan ko pero kung itatapat sa lobo ko ay medyo may lamang ako.

"Hindi ako marunong mangabayo." Amin ko sa prinsipe habang hinihimas niya ang nag-aamong mukha nito.

Marunong akong sumakay ng lobo dahil kauri ko sila pero ang magkontrol ng hayop na hindi ko naman kilala at nakakausap ay ibang usapan na, baka mamaya ayaw sa'kin niyan at itapon na lang ako sa daan.

Tinigil niya saglit ang paghimas dahil sa sinabi ko ngunit pinagpatuloy din agad na parang wala siyang pake kung marunong ako o hindi.

"Sakay."

I mentally sigh to prepare myself for a long ride ahead. Naging madali naman ang pagsakay ko at hindi naman naging magalaw ang kabayo sa pagbuhat sa'kin, mukha naman siyang mabait despite how the horse looks.

Pero ang ikinagulat ko ay ang biglaan ding pagsakay ng prinsipe sa likod ko. Parehas kami ng naging posisyon ng pag-upo, his hands and arms crawled past my waist stealing the lead rope I'm holding making me sit up straight to avoid his chest and arms around me.

"A-Akala ko ba sa'kin 'to?" I cleared my shaking throat.

"Anong sa'yo? Kabayo ko 'to." His low voice seems so loud near my ear that it tickles me when he breathes out a word. "His name's Van."

Van...the horse has a name.

This is my first time riding ever since that night. The hair behind Van's neck reminds me of my mother's fur that I had with me when I clenched my fist while holding her tightly out of rage. Now, I hold Van's hair carefully so that he won't get hurt.

"Let's go!" Sigaw ng prinsipe sa likod kung nasaan ang karwahe at ang mga kabalyerong nakasakay na rin sa kanya-kanya nilang mga kabayo.

Kasabay ng kanyang pagsigaw ay ang paghigpit niya ng hawak sa lead rope at ang paghataw sa kabayo. The horse rises and screams before galloping causing me to fall back on his chest.

I felt a sharp pierce of electricity from my back so I tried to move from him and hold on to the horse's neck. Buti na lang at sanay ako sa mga ganitong sakay kaya naman naging maayos ang posisyon ko pagkatapos non.

The only thing that bothers me is that his intoxicating smell is spreading through inside my senses clouding my mind. I tried to close it and ignore his smell but I always failed.

Damn his perfume.

It's like an illegal drug for me.

The capital is a little far from the west part of Missarati, the only people who live here are those who know how to hunt for themselves or some people who don't live here only go hunting once every four months. Because this is the only place of Missarati that is closest to the Tree of Life where the fruits and animals are bountiful.

The distance is troublesome for me. If we remain this close for the rest of the ride, I might fall off the horse due to dizziness from his smell.

Habang tumatagal ay mas gumugulo ang daan patungo sa kapital kaya naman mas nakakadagdag sa hilo ko ang pagsakay.

"Are you okay?" He whispered in my ear while he continued to drive the horse.

"Yeah..." My voice came out husky as I silently caught my breath. I can feel his breathing in my nape too.

I feel like we've been riding for eternity.

"Let's stop for a minute." He shouted at the knights before renewing his hold on the lead rope to stop Van from galloping. I can see the veins from his hands protruding.

And before I knew it, the horse rose again. I was in a state of panic trying to renew my hold on his neck but Van shook his head, refusing my hold making me fall back on the crown prince's chest again just like what happened earlier.

But it's not exactly the same because I almost lose my balance and just like that, the crown prince's left hand snaked around my waist to support me from falling.

When the horse is finally calm, he lets go of his hold.

"Thank you." I weakly muttered.

I'm glad we stopped near the river. I'm dying for water.

Instead of checking my grandmother first, I head directly to the river beside our stop. Hindi ko rin naman machecheck ng maayos si lola kung hindi ko muna aayusin ang kalagayan ko.

This is not something serious though. Sadyang ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito, a scent that is familiar yet intoxicating? What kind of bullshit is that? I thought something like that never exists.

Come to think of it, how ironic that I'm from the clan of creatures that the mortals never imagined existed yet here I am thinking that a scent is unimaginable.

I stared at my reflection on the surface of the water, it is distorted but I can clearly see that my face is all flushed like I'm drunk.

I shook my head and exhaled roughly before dipping down my hands on the river to splash some water on my face. After I'm done, I shook my head once more.

"Feronia, okay ka lang?" Lapit ng nag-aalalang boses ni lola. Bago pa ko makalapit sakanya nakita kong nakaskwat na agad siya sa bandang likuran ko, hinihimas ang likod ko.

Nginitian ko siya para mawala ang pag-aalala niya.

"Anong...pakiramdam mo?" Kunot noo niya sa'kin.

"Nahilo lang po sa pagod." Sagot ko namang may katotohanan din.

"Sigurado ka?" Tila ba hindi siya naniniwala sa'kin at imbis na sa akin ang titig niya, ang mga mata niya'y nakatingin lampas sa pwesto ko.

Sinundan ko ang titig niya at nakita sa hindi kalayuan ang nagbabasa rin ng mukha na prinsipe.

I cleared my throat to get her attention. "Sigurado po ako."

Tumayo kami at siya naman ang tinanong ko kung kamusta ang kalagayan at ang mga gamit. Matapos makumpirmang ayos lang si lola sa loob at hindi naman gaano nahihirapan, naglakad na ko patungo sa kabayong sinakyan namin kanina para ito naman ang kamustahin.

Habang naglalakad, hindi ko maiwasang isipin pa rin ang nakakaabalang amoy na iyon.

Siguro isa ang mga pabango niya sa mga masasamang droga para lang sa mga lobo? At wala pang ibang nakakaalam hanggang ngayon kundi ako lang?

If it's like an illegal drug then once I get used to it, I'll crave for it every time and anywhere I go.

I kicked the small stone that's blocking my way, it rolled and stopped beside Van's horseshoe.

I lifted my eyes at the gorgeous black horse in front of me.

The horse turned his head to look at me and when he found me glaring at him, he swiftly looked anywhere else except my spot.

Oh, look at this horse. So he knows what he's done? I raised my brow.

I embarrassingly fall back on the crown prince's chest two times. Let's say he didn't intend the first one but he snubbingly shakes off my hand when I tried to hold on to him the second time!

After all the gentle touch I gave him despite my eagerness to just choke him with my tight hold so I won't make any contact with that prince.

I raised my hand to touch him and once he felt my touch I saw Van flinched. My glare never fazed, it's contradicting my touch.

He tried to look somewhere again and move his body away from me but I only followed him closer. Hindi na siya makakalayo pa sakin dahil nakatali siya sa puno.

I've been very good to you, Van...so be good to me as well.