Chapter 8

[ELARA]

I stand in the dark with my hand on the door handle for a long time. The mate bond keeps pulling my chest like it has its own plans. Every pull brings another wave of heat that settles low in my stomach and between my legs. And each time I resist, it comes with pain. I can feel Kaelen on the other side of that door. His need is thick and clear and it is literally choking me.

My dragon is no help at all, She is burning under my skin like she has waited five years for this and is not being denied it this time.

I force my hand off the handle.

“No,” I whisper to the empty room. “I am not doing this. He threw me away. He does not get to have me just because the bond has been rekindled.”

I turn my back on the door and walk to the bed. The bond yanks harder the second I move away. Pain shoots through my chest like someone is ripping something open inside me. I grit my teeth and sit on the edge of the mattress.

“I do not forgive you,” I say out loud, even though he cannot hear me. “You do not get to fix this with pretty words and a strong mate connection.”

The pain gets worse though. It spreads from my chest down to my stomach and lower. My dragon is fighting me, she wants to go to him, but I don’t want to. I dig my fingers into the sheets and refuse.

“Stay away from me,” I growl under my breath. “I am not yours anymore.”

The bond answers with a sharp twist that makes my vision blur. Heat and pain mix until I cannot tell them apart. My thighs press together on their own and I hate my body for reacting. Tears burn at the corners of my eyes but I still do not move toward the door.

Then the pain spikes so hard that a scream rips out of my throat before I can stop it.

The bedroom door flies open. Kaelen is there in two long steps. His eyes are wild and purple and full of worry and desire. He stops a few feet away with his hands up like he is surrendering to an arrest, not touching me yet.

“Elara.” His voice is rough. “Talk to me”

I am curled forward, arms wrapped around my middle, breathing hard. The bond is still punishing me for fighting it.

“It hurts,” I manage. “When I pull away it hurts.”

Kaelen’s face tightens and he takes one careful step closer.

“I can feel it too,” he says. “The bond does not like being rejected. But I will not touch you unless you say yes. Do you understand? You have to tell me what you want.”

I look up at him through the pain. Part of me still wants to tell him to get out. The bigger part of me is shaking and desperate for the pain to stop.

“Help me,” I whisper. “Just make it stop”

He nods once. “Tell me if you want me to stop at any time, just say the word and I will stop”

“I know.”

Kaelen closes the last bit of space between us. He kneels in front of me and rests his hands on my knees, waiting. When I don’t pull away he slides them higher, slowly and carefully, until his thumbs brush the insides of my thighs.

“Still yes?” he asks.

“Yes.”

He pushes my shirt up, technically his shirt that I borrowed as a nightwear. His fingers find the edge of my underwear and pause again. I give a tiny nod. He pulls the fabric aside and the cool air hits my already wet folds. I bite my lip hard to stifle a moan.

Kaelen’s eyes stay on my face as he strokes one finger through my folds. The first touch makes my hips jerk. The bond eases a little, like it is pleased I stopped fighting it. He does it again, slower this time, gathering the wetness and spreading it.

“You are soaked,” he says quietly. There is no teasing in his voice, only desire and the pain of holding back.

“Shut up and keep going,” I tell him even though my voice comes out shaky instead of authoritative.

He slides one thick finger inside me. I gasp and grab his shoulder. He works it in and out with steady pressure, curling just enough to hit the spot that makes my legs tremble. A second finger joins the first. The stretch burns in the best way and the mate bond floods with relief and heat at the same time.

“Look at me,” Kaelen says.

I force my eyes open. His eyes are locked on mine while his fingers pump deeper. His thumb finds my clit and rubs slow circles. The double sensation makes my head fall back.

“Are you with me?” he asks.

“Yes, Don’t stop.”

He speeds up. The wet sound of his fingers moving inside me fills the quiet room. My hips start meeting every thrust. The pain from earlier is totally gone and in its place is a pressure that has me digging my nails into his shoulders.

“Kaelen,” I choke out.

“I’ve got you.” His voice is low and rough. “Let go, I want to feel you come on my hand.”

The words push me over instantly. My whole body locks and I come hard, clenching around his fingers while a broken sound leaves my throat. Pleasure crashes through me in waves. The bond sings with it like it has finally gotten what it wanted.

Kaelen keeps working me through my orgasm until I am shaking and sensitive. Only then does he slow and carefully pull his fingers out. He does not wipe them on the sheets, instead he brings them to his mouth and tastes me without looking away.

I am still trying to catch my breath when he speaks again.

“I know you have not forgiven me,” he says. “I am not asking for that tonight. But I will keep earning it. Every day by day, however long it takes.”

I look at him, still spread out and wet and trembling, and I do not have an answer for him.

From the next room, I hear Leo let out a soft sleepy sigh. Aside that, the house is completely quiet.

Kaelen stays on his knees in front of me, waiting for whatever I decide next, while the mate bond hums between us like it is already planning the next time I try to run.