CHAPTER 4

Despite telling himself so many times that he needed to stop thinking too much about Raffy and instead think of what he should be doing for his project to finally start, Andrew couldn't take his mind off of Raffy.  

  

Even after busying himself, the moment he wasn't occupied, even if it was only for a few seconds, Raffy would immediately fill his thoughts, leaving him with conflicted emotions.  

  

"Sir?"  

  

Sally's voice brought him out of his reverie.  

  

He hadn't even realized that he was sitting languidly—not very suitable for someone that holds the highest position in his own company and was supposed to do his job, which he clearly had forgotten already because he was busy thinking of someone that should have no business to camp inside his head.  

  

Sally stared at him in confusion, then turned into amusement.  

  

Sally knew he was thinking of something that didn't have anything to do with work and their company. And knowing Sally, he knew he would be bombarded with questions at any moment, so before that happened, he sat straight again like a CEO should be, cleared his throat, then faced his assistant with a serious expression on his face, acting like he wasn't caught getting lost in his own thoughts.  

  

He crossed his legs and put his clasped hands on the table. "Yes?"  

  

Sally raised one of her eyebrows, amusement still dancing in her eyes. The sides of her lips were a bit raised, obviously holding herself back from smirking.  

  

But Andrew kept his face straight. "Yes, Sally?" he repeated, his voice firmer.  

  

"Are you alright, sir?"  

  

"I am," he replied right away, making it more obvious that he was actually feeling the complete opposite. Still, he kept his professional look. "Now, is there anything you want to ask me that has something to do with our work? Because if there's none, then you may now leave."  

  

Sally raised her brow even more, which Andrew hadn't thought would be possible.  

  

His assistant hadn't said anything yet, but Andrew could already tell what Sally was thinking just by the look on her face.  

  

She had that familiar expression again—the one she always wore whenever she caught him acting unlike himself. Over the years, Sally had become annoyingly good at reading him. Thankfully, she also knew when to stop pushing.  

  

Instead of teasing him further, she only smiled and handed him a manila folder.  

  

"Here's what you asked," she said. "Inside this are the files regarding Mr. Raffy Castor."  

  

As fast as lightning, Andrew grabbed the manila paper and hastily opened it, forgetting again that he should not be acting that way in front of Sally. But he couldn't stop himself.  

  

After seeing Raffy the other day, his curiosity about the beta had been awakened once again.  

  

He promised himself that he would never do it again—looking at and gathering information about the beta—as he had done already before, when Raffy suddenly left, only to be disappointed because nobody could track Raffy, but then here he was...

  

How did he end up in a place that was so far from his parents? How did he become a small bookshop owner instead of working in his family's business? Who did he get married to? Is it a beta? Or an omega? And who is it? Who is the mother of his son?  

  

Those were just some of the many questions that had been pestering him after he left Raffy's bookshop. And not knowing the answer to any of it was driving him crazy.  

  

So before he officially lost his mind, he finally called his assistant and asked her to gather all the information he could find about Raffy for the last ten years. And as always, Sally delivered.  

  

If only he had met Sally ten years ago, then maybe there could have been a chance for him and Raffy to—no, no. He should not go there. That's the last thing he should be doing right now.  

  

"Sir?" Sally called again after noticing he had stopped reading midway through the page. 

  

He did not answer Sally, but he took his attention back to the manila folder.   

  

He opened it and read every single piece of information that was written in the files.  

  

He thought he was prepared for whatever he was going to know. But he wasn't. His chest fucking tightened.  

  

According to what Sally had gathered, Raffy's parents were against Raffy's decision to come with him to the States for his medical rehabilitation. Since the news about what he had done to Ciel, Raffy's best friend, broke out, it was only inevitable that his parents would not want their son to go with the person everybody had started calling 'monster.' But Raffy was firm with his decision and still went with Andrew despite his parents warning him that no good would come out of him associating himself with Andrew.  

  

And as if to let Raffy know how much they disliked and disagreed with their decision, his parents stopped giving help and support to Raffy.  

  

'Was that the reason why Raffy stopped going to school and chose to get a job instead?' Andrew thought.  

  

He remembered asking Raffy about it once, but Raffy evaded the question, and he didn't care to ask again anymore. He also remembered how he kept giving Raffy the cold shoulder because he didn't want Raffy to get a job and would rather have the beta beside him all the time to be his support, like his private nurse.  

  

He didn't know it was because Raffy had literally no one to support him during those times and was already on his own.  

  

His hold on the edges of the paper tightened, and he unconsciously gritted his teeth.  

  

How could he not know that? There must be signs, so how could he not notice it?  

  

He didn't have to think through it, though, as he immediately found the answer to his own question.  

  

The reason why he hadn’t seen the signs was simple.  

  

He had been selfish.  

  

Back then, Andrew only saw his own pain, his own anger, his own needs. He had treated Raffy like someone who would always stay no matter how badly he behaved.  

  

Until Raffy finally left.  

  

After taking a very deep breath to soothe his aching chest, he continued to read the files.  

  

Sally managed to get all the important details, like how Raffy managed to acquire the bookshop. But the one, and the most important detail that took his whole attention and made him stop for a minute, was the information about Lance, Raffy's omega son.  

  

It turned out that Lance was not Raffy's biological son. According to the information Sally had gathered, Lance was actually the son of Raffy's omega friend, who passed away from childbirth.  

  

Then, does that mean that Raffy was not married at all? Nothing in the file said that he's in a relationship either.  

  

For some fucked-up reason, the tightness and the heaviness in his heart had instantly evaporated like a bubble that had been popped. Then it was replaced with something else that he could only explain as relief.  

  

"Fuck!" he exclaimed out of frustration and let go of the files, setting them on his table.  

  

He laid his nape at the top of the swivel chair he was sitting on, his eyes on the ceiling as he was chastising himself in silence.  

  

He was silent for a while before he was able to compose himself again.  

  

He faced Sally once more. "Good job," he told her.  

  

Sally looked into his eyes intently. "Did you get all the answers to your questions?"  

  

Andrew did not confirm it, but Sally seemed to have already known that the beta bookshop owner was the same beta he was telling her about when they went out for a drink, and he got so drunk it made his lips a little too loose, making him share a few personal and private things about him, his life, his past, and his feelings.  

  

Andrew met her eyes. "I did."  

  

"Then, the project..."  

  

"Will continue as it is," Andrew answered as fast as lightning. "Nothing has changed. Our project will proceed as planned."  

  

Andrew said that, and yet there was no determination in his voice. In fact, it sounded like an empty promise. And he was not happy with that but also couldn't do anything about it.  

  

'Shit. I am fucking doomed,' he thought again while wanting to slam his head on his table, hoping that maybe doing that would make his brain function rationally again.  

  

Asking Sally to gather information about Raffy and reading the files was definitely not the best decision he has ever made.  

  

But was he regretting it? Fucking no.  

  

And he didn't know anymore how to feel about it.