CHAPTER ONE

                                                               THE MISERY

'Life might look complicated, yet it's pretty simple. Had I learned anteriorly how to meander my way through life, possibly I wouldn’t have been where I am right now…’

"Mummy! Mummy!! Mummy!!!" My heart skipped a bit when I heard Zara yell out my name in a manner that presumed risk. She had been calling until the third time that halted my whimsical mind from its incessant chattering. ‘I hope it’s not what I'm supposing…,’ I rushed out towards her voice, switching from the racing deliberations that jostled for room in my head, back to reality.

My life would have been filled with regrets if I hadn’t retraced my pathway on time. Had I put to good use what I held within earlier enough, I would in no way have wasted the most active part of my life in self-pity and depression. I would have looked beyond my problems and drawn strength from within instead of presenting bitterness and an ungrateful attitude towards my Maker for certain things He allowed to come to me. Now, I know better that it was all for my perfection; just like gold in a fiery furnace.

Yes, I had what it takes, but I rather left them inactive. The key that unlocks the gratified part of my life was nearer than I anticipated. The piece I've been searching for to end my howls was right inside of me. Although it took me longer than necessary to be where I am now, I'm glad that I could get myself on the right track so juvenile bones would not repeat my misapprehensions, and suffer from the inability to live above life challenges which have been my weakness - the tool the adversaries used to fight me until I could set off the potent power of the piece that should perfect my life.

I’m so privileged that the consequences of my past didn’t make a mess of my life fully because I braced up myself to fight back. Hmm… I remembered vividly how my life played back in those cycles, about sixty years ago...

"Amara! Amara!! Amara!!! You null, infernal child. How many times do I have to call before you answer me?" I had scarcely opened my mouth to explain that I went running her errands when I received a resounding slap on my face. I staggered before I made for the couch beside me. "Hey! How dare you sit on my settee? Do you know how much it costs? Before I open my eyes, dust yourself off the settee and begin some cleaning!" I quickly got up and rushed out of the living room to bring a bowl of water, soap and disinfectant to sponge the part of the couch my body touched.

My aunt has in no way liked me since birth, and now, it grew worse since my mother, Sarah, passed away. I was scarcely twelve years old when the news about my mother got to me, leaving me to my fate.

Mum, as I fondly call her, was my ally and only hope for survival. Before this time, life has been really foul to us. Despite all that we went through, I still preferred it to the life my aunt subjected me. All attempts to take my own life proved futile. I had no choice but to stay with her as the only known surviving relative I've in Delhi.

Staying with my aunt made me appreciate those times with my mother, as words would fail me to qualify the misery I suffered in her hands. I resented God so much that I would curse Him under my breath when life troubles suck so hard. I felt God loathed me for whatever reason, to penalize me like this. Possibly in my pre-life, I did so many terrible things that He had to bring me back to earth for reprisals. Being so unfortunate to feel fatherly love wasn’t a competent castigation to let go, He made my mother and I go through hell each passing day just to cater for our needs; still, it wasn’t appeasing enough! Now, He created my hell and placed it right in my aunt’s house.

My mother had her happy moments, though it was when my father, Aadi, was still alive. She used to tell me so many amiable stories about him. Many people who knew him had good things to say about him too because he had a large heart. He was that man that could give up anything just to make anyone happy.

Aadi was the only son of his father. His close relationship with his only sister, Adhira, had many mistaking them for lovers (yes, they were that really close). The only thing that separated them from contemporary lovers was the lack of sexual activities.

The squabbles the two siblings had were when my mother showed up. Aunt Adhira had picked up quarrels with my father for differing with her and taking sides with an outsider (my mother). She was such an over-pampered child that made her parents do uttermost of what she wanted. She had an unapologetic manner of getting things done her way - not minding who gets hurt. I would be right to call her a manipulative and self-centred person, as those duly describe part of her attributes.

When Sarah came into the picture, Adhira tried her best to discourage Aadi from marrying her. Considering her looks, Adhira wondered how his handsome and rich brother would deign that low and have anything to do with such a twerp." There's something amiss somewhere, somehow. Aadi isn't with his right senses," she claimed. She believed Sarah charmed his brother into marrying her; a gold-digger and dirty-looking woman with no class. "Hey, you better undo whatever it was you have done to my family and quietly walk out; else, I swear by the gods, I would do anything within my power to set him free from your enchantment and have you killed thereafter," she would say. "You don’t belong here. Go, find your march!" She unleashed angrily, spitting into Sarah’s face.

Amidst the hate and verbal assaults, my father maintained on marrying Sarah, the woman after his heart; she was going to be his lady or no other!