Chapter 3: Smile I Never Had

Ava's POV

As soon as I stepped into the bar, the changing lights from the disco ball hit me. The bouncers didn’t ask me anything because they already knew I was friends with the owner. I just shook my head because the place was still packed with people.. it’s a famous bar, after all. This wasn’t my first time here. Even before I got married, I used to come here often with Eva and other friends.

Inside, the music was loud, and the lights flashed in colors of red, blue, and green, making the crowd move like a wave. The air was thick with laughter, chatter, and the clinking of glasses. The bouncers, big and serious, just nodded at me as I walked past, no questions asked. They knew me, and I felt a little proud of that. The bar was always full, night after night, with people dancing, drinking, and having fun. It was a popular spot in the city, and everyone wanted to be here. I looked around and saw familiar faces.. people I had met before, some I had shared stories with. I remembered the many nights I spent here with Eva, my close friend, and others. We would laugh, talk about life, and forget our problems for a while.

Even though I’m married now, I still come back to this place. It feels like a part of my past that I can’t let go of. The flashing lights and loud music remind me of younger days, of freedom and friendship. I walked through the crowd, found a spot at the bar and ordered a drink. The bartender smiled, knowing me well, and poured my favorite.

"Nasa'n boss ninyo? Tawag nang tawag sa'kin tapos wala pala rito," naiiling kong tanong kay Joseph. Isa sa dalawang bartender dito sa Eva's Garden. Oo, 'yon ang pangalan ng bar niya na akala mo kung anong mga bulaklak ang mga customers niya.

For her, kapag nakapasok ang isang tao sa bar na 'to, parang nagiging isang bulaklak na akala mo mamamatay na, kapag nadiligan nang kaunti, agad mabubuhay at mas lalong sisigla.

"Ay nako Ma'am, kanina pa po talaga siya nandito pero umalis lang saglit dahil sa may katawag," sagot naman niya sa'kin na siyabg ikinatango ko na lang. Busy na kasi ang babeng 'yon dahil ang daming nagpapa-book sa bar niya.

"Kanina pa ba maraming tao?" I asked again and he nodded.

"Opo. Mga alas otso ay dagsa na kasi nga biyernes ngayon."

Tumango na lang ako sabay lagok sa alak. Agad gumuhit ang pait sa lalamunan ko pero natural lang 'yon sa isang matapang na gin.

The night continued, and the bar stayed alive. People came and went, but the energy never faded. I sat there, watching the crowd, thinking about how this place had been a part of my life for so long.

This is where I met Al. This is the place where everything started. For him, I was just nothing. I was invisible.. na kahit hanggang ngayon ay gano'n pa rin ang tingin niya sa'kin. Mag-asawa na sa simbahan at sa papel, pero gano'n pa rin ang turing niya sa'kin. He didn't even dare to talk with me about things. Sa bahay o sa kahit saan pa.

"Ava!" Napangiti na lang ako nang matamis nang marinig ko ang boses ni Eva kaya lumingon ako sa kaniya't nakitang nakangiti siyang papalapit sa'kin. We immediately hugged each other when she neared me.

"Ang busy mo naman ata?" ngiti kong sambit na siyang ikinanguso niya. Napahagikhik ako dahil sa alam kong kinakaya niya ang lahat at dinadaan sa mga paganiyan niya.

"Akala ko hindi ka pupunta. Kasi nga last time 'di ba? I invited you here dahil sa event pero you declined dahil nga sa may family gathering kayo. Oh tapos? Ano namang nangyari?" she curiously asked. I sighed and smiled slightly.

"As usual. Pretend that we are so sweet in front of our family. Sa mga gano'n niya lang naman ako nakikita kaya sana palagi na lang mag-family gathering."

"Hayst. Hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong i-a-advice sa'yo, Ava. Lahat na ata ng mga advice ko nasabi ko na pero ito ka pa rin, nag-e-expect na mamahalin ka niya talaga. Baka nakakalimutan mong walang pagmamahalan na involve sa kasal na nangyari. Ay meron pala, but it was only you who loved him and who loved the idea," saad niya na parang kung anong mga kutsilyo na sumaksak sa puso ko pero sanay na'ko. Ganiyan talaga bibig ni Eva kaya nagpapasalamat naman ako kahit papaano na meron akong ganiyang kaibigan na pilit akong ginigising sa katotohanan.

"Huwag na nga lang natin pag-usapan," natatawang hilaw kong sambit sa kaniya. "Nandito ako para samahan ka pero hoy, hindi ako iinom ng marami. Magda-drive pa 'ko pauwi. May naghihintay sa'kin sa bahay," dagdag ko pa na siyang ikinangiti niya lang at ikinatango.

Eva and I were drinking, but just light drinks because I still had to drive home. We talked about our lives, especially mine. We made jokes about everything, even though sometimes Eva would hit me with harsh truths that made me pause. We were just chatting when a familiar figure walked in, and suddenly it felt like time stopped. The world seemed to move in slow motion because of a man I never expected to see tonight.. my husband. But that wasn’t all. He was with a woman, her arm wrapped around him.

The bar was still buzzing with music and lights but everything else faded away. My heart dropped and I could hear my own breathing louder than the crowd. Eva looked at me and I could see the shock in her eyes too. I tried to stay calm but the sight of my husband with another woman made my chest feel heavy. It was like a dream but a painful one.

I watched them for a moment, the way the woman leaned on him, the way he smiled at her. It was a shock, a punch to my heart. I wanted to say something, to do something but I was frozen. Eva nudged me gently trying to bring me back to the moment but my mind was stuck on what I just saw.

Hindi niya ako kailanman nginitian nang ganiyan.

The night continued but everything felt different. The music was still playing, the lights still flashing, but my world had shifted. I was left with questions, with pain and with a heavy feeling in my chest. I didn’t know what to do next but I knew this another moment would stay with me for a long time.