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57. Hair

Author: Naomi D.
last update Huling Na-update: 2025-05-22 17:13:40
Nivia’s pov

Okay, now don’t get your hopes up! I told myself. Just because he’s acting like a decent human being doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten everything he’s done.

Yet…

It’s really hard not to think this is enough when I miss him and the kids so much.

I thought I was making a point. Punishing him in a way, but it feels like I’m punishing myself just as much. Maybe even more, because I’m actually allowing myself to feel everything.

The anger towards Ford, the guilt towards the kids, the worry I’m making a mistake, the longing for my mate… I feel it all. And it’s overwhelming most of the time. It makes it hard to focus, but I can’t not feel it.

I can’t shut off my feelings like Ford can.

If I want Ford to like me for me, I need to behave like myself. I need to talk how I talk, dress how I dress, and feel whatever I’m feeling. Because it’s part of me. It’s who I am.

I am someone who feels a lot.

And maybe through that beautiful mark on my neck he will feel it too.

I look at myself in the m
Naomi D.

I know it's one step forward again and two back. but i like big moments. I haven't decided what the big moment is yet. So I tried writing this yesterday, but didn't have enough time to finish it because of birthday stuff. I like teasing my husband that he's old, because he's 2 years older than me. But age is just a number. to me it's very odd. Because I lost my dad when I was 19 and he was 43. He and my mom were in their early twenties when they had us (I am one of three girls) and when he died, I didn't realize how young 43 really was. I figured he has three kids that are all 18+ he had a good life, etc. But now that I'm almost 40 myself I realize 43 years of life is not enough.

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Mga Comments (7)
goodnovel comment avatar
Deej
I am so here for his crash out. Between Storms counseling and the silence he’s going to die
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Samantha White Riley
more not mate
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Samantha White Riley
it will be mote of that "quiet" he thought he wanted do desperately. He is about to crash out with all of that quiet.
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