Chapter 25 – The Breaking Point

The seed did not give me any peace. It followed me everywhere now. During training the seed was there. While I was eating the seed was there. In the quiet moments when I tried to steal a few seconds alone the seed was there. It was always there like a pulse under my own heartbeat, cold and patient and whispering things I did not want to hear.

I started avoiding mirrors because every time I caught my reflection my eyes looked a little darker. Not the warm brown I was used to. Something sharper something hungrier. I told myself it was exhaustion. The pack was still. We were training harder than ever. Sleep was rare and broken.. Deep down I knew it was not just that. The seed was changing me. I could feel it.

One evening I was alone in the clearing behind the pack house trying to meditate like Mara had suggested. The air was cool. The sun was just beginning to set, painting the sky in soft oranges and pinks. I sat cross-legged on the grass. Closed my eyes focusing on my breathing. In, out trying to find the place where my wolf lived.

The seed struck the second I started to relax. A wave of slammed into me so hard I gasped. Images flooded my mind, not memories this time. Possibilities. The pack burning, Damon on his knees blood on his chest eyes empty. Me standing over all of it white light glowing around me but twisted, darker laughing.

I jerked back to reality with a choked sound hands pressed to my chest like I could rip the seed out with my fingers. My wolf was snarling inside me frantic trying to push the darkness back. It felt like fighting smoke. "Stop " I whispered. "Just stop." The seed did not listen.

I stayed there until the sun disappeared completely shaking, breathing fast. When I finally stood up my legs felt weak. I walked back to the pack house slowly trying to paste on a face so no one would ask questions.

Damon was waiting for me in our quarters. The second I walked through the door he knew. He always knew. He crossed the room in three strides. Pulled me into his arms without a word. I buried my face in his chest. Let myself sag against him. He held me up one hand stroking my hair the other rubbing circles on my back.

"Talk to me " he said quietly. I shook my head. "It is getting worse the visions, the whispers. Today the seed showed me you dead because of me." His arms tightened around me. I felt his heartbeat speed up against my cheek.

"It is lying to you " he said. His voice was steady. I could hear the fear underneath. "The seed wants you to doubt yourself. It wants you to push me away. Do not let it win." I am trying I thought.. What if I cannot? What if one day I wake up. I am not me anymore?

Damon pulled back enough to look at me. His eyes were dark and intense full of much love it hurt to see. "Then I will remind you who you are " he said fiercely. "Every single day. I will tell you about the girl who survived ten years of my cruelty and still chose to fight beside me. The girl who protected pack members who did not deserve it. The girl who makes me want to be better. I will remind you until you believe it again."

Tears slipped down my cheeks. I did not try to stop them this time. "I do not want to lose you " I whispered. "You will not " he said. He cupped my face with both hands thumbs brushing away the tears. "Because I am not going anywhere. Even if the seed tries to tear us I will fight for you. I will love you through it all of it."

He kissed me then not not gentle. This kiss was desperate and deep like he was trying to pour every ounce of love he had into me trying to drown out the darkness with light. I kissed him back as hard clinging to his shoulders needing him closer.

We ended up in bed without deciding to. Clothes came off slowly reverently. His hands moved over me like he was memorizing every inch every curve, every scar. I did the same to him tracing the marks on his body from the battles pressing kisses to the scar across his ribs like I could heal it with my mouth.

We made love that night like the world outside did not exist.. Deep and full of quiet promises. Every touch said I am here. Every kiss said I choose you. When we finally fell apart sweaty and breathing hard he pulled me against his chest. Held me like he never wanted to let go.

"I love you " he whispered into my hair. "No matter what happens tomorrow. No matter what the seed tries to do. I love you." "I love you too " I whispered back my voice thick with tears. "So much."

We fell asleep like that tangled together his heartbeat under my ear the bond warm and steady between us.. In the middle of the night I woke up again. The seed was louder this time. It showed me things: Damon turning on me the pack burning because of my power me standing alone in the ashes laughing with a voice that was not mine.

I sat up gasping sweat covering my skin. Damon woke immediately. Pulled me back down wrapping himself around me like a shield. "I have got you " he murmured. "I have got you stay with me." I clung to him shaking, letting his warmth push the cold back for a while longer.

The war outside was coming,. The war, inside me was already here.. I was starting to wonder how long I could keep fighting both the seed and the darkness that was growing inside me.