letting go

It was quiet for a while, neither of us saying anything for the longest of times.

“what?” he finally said, looking at me with a bit of clarity.

“Reject me” I said again, holding his gaze.

He scoffed at first, barely believing his ears, then it turned into a full on laugh.

“you little…” he said, aggressively holding my neck with a bit of rage in his eyes.

I felt my eyes tighten at the sight. ‘did he hate me now? Was he disgusted with the fact that I was his mate?’ The thoughts were flying through my mind without any control.

I felt chest tighten further as I looked at him.

“You think this is some kind of sick joke? That I would just let it slide?” he said, his hands on my neck tightening by the second.

“E-than” I struggled to get out but it was becoming too difficult to breathe.

His eyes widened, as though suddenly realizing what he had just done. He let out a sigh, tugging his midnight black hair with a bit of frustration.

“Look” he said while taking a breath. “I am sorry okay? I did not mean for things to go far or anything but this joke?” He said gesturing to the two of us, “it has to stop.” He let out another sigh. There was this look of frustration on his face “I need to find my mate and you can’t be playing your little games like this. Stop whatever nonsense this it.”

For some reason, I felt a little bit relieved.

At least he did not have a clue of being mates yet. But on the other hand? I could feel a bit of frustration crawl up my spine.

“And you don’t think I could be your mate?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes to act unbothered but deep down? I felt my heart race.

“Don’t be ridiculous Anya” he said, rolling his eyes too. “you have been trying to pull this joke since forever. There is not possible way you could be my mate. The goddess would not be so cruel to even think of putting us together.” He dropped the necklace on the table.

“Take care of yourself” he said, leaving, feeling very oblivious to the turmoil his words had caused.

“Am I that horrible to live with?” I whispered. There was no way he could hear me anyways. He was already gone by now.

I marched up the stairs, almost tripping on my own two feet as I did, walking straight to my room.

I stood in front of my room, tears already streaming down my face as I looked at the mirror in front of me.

“Dear?” my mother called softly, very much oblivious to what was going on “has Ethan gone yet? I want him to give something to Lucas for me…” she said, holding something that was covered in cloth.

“Mum?” I turned to looked at her, unable to hold back the sobs. I opened my mouth, trying to bring words out of my mouth

“Baby… breathe” she said, coming closer to me, pulling me into her chest

“mum..” I called, going into her embrace and taking in her scent “am I that ugly? Am I that horrible looking that Ethan would say such cruel words to me?” I screamed out my lungs through the tears, my throat burning in the process but I could barely breathe

“Baby” she cooed, not saying anything for a while, holding me tighter than she had ever done “it’s okay baby.. he was not the one for you. You don’t have to beat yourself up about that, but you are not ugly.” I shook my head.

She was obviously just saying that because she was my mum. She seemed to have read my mind because she pulled me away from her.

Not completely, but enough so that I could see her face. “Listen to me love.” she said, looking straight into my eyes. “the only time when I called you ugly? Was when I first held you the night you were born”

I looked up at her, her words bringing a smile to my face. “but then..,. then you grew into this fine young lady that sometimes, I cannot even believe that you are mine” I felt my chest go soft at the words. “your dark green eyes with your well defined face, anybody would be lucky to have you. But Ethan…” she took in a deep breath, as though she did not know what else to say.

“Ethan does not just like you like that, and unfortunately he found his mate last night.” I felt the sadness in her eyes. “You understand what that means, right?”

I nodded. Of course she did not know that I was the one that he saw last night. Heck! She did not even know that I was out of this house last night. “Your mate would come and he would be the most beautiful man you have ever seen” she said, this dreamy look in her eyes that she always had when she was talking about my dad.

The tears had dried up by now, it was replaced with the urge to throw up “Mum please” I said, completely detaching myself from her.

“I have Messaged your aunt, Mallory. Would you want me to be seeing you off? Or would you want to go yourself?” I shook my head.

Ever since the last attack, mum had not been strong enough to cast spells. Making her waste all her energy to teleport me did not seem like a wise thing to do. “it’s fine mum, save your strength. It would be too crowded in there if we both decide to go. You know how aunty gets.” she nodded.

“very well then” she leaned over to kiss my cheeks. “be good” she left the room, leaving me all alone.

I looked back at the mirror, my mind drifting back to last night were he looked at the woman he thought was going to be his mate.

The admiration, everything…

“I am never going to be looked at that way by you” I muttered, “I am done waiting for you Ethan…” I said, looking back at my reflection in the mirror…