No words were spoken between us as we made our way towards the next building. Since it was raining really hard, nobody else was around the area and it was completely silent except for the sound of raindrops falling.
As we walked side by side with him holding out his umbrella for the both of us, for some reason, it felt like we were a couple. It may have even seemed that way if anybody else ever saw us because that kind of gesture was (almost) never done between strangers. Yes. Strangers. We were strangers. I didn't even know his name and he didn't know mine yet here I was daydreaming about him. And to think that I was starting to develop a crush on this guy who called me an idiot earlier...I really was a sucker for bad boys! As I silently berated myself upon this realization, I barely noticed that we had arrived at the building across and that the guy I was with had already closed his umbrella and was getting out of the pouring rain. But thanks to the feel of raindrops on my skin, I became suddenly aware of where we were and immediately got out of the rain as well. That was when I noticed that I was all wet and my shoes were completely soaked in rainwater. Nice! I really need to get a grip and stop spacing out in front of this guy or else I'll just prove that he was right in calling me an idiot. But thankfully, by the time that the guy had taken off his hoodie and revealed how handsome he really was, I was finally calm enough to face him. "Here, take this," he said coldly as gave me his handkerchief. "Thanks," was all I could muster, taking it in hand and drying myself off with it. But then I suddenly felt self-concious when I noticed him staring at me. I wanted to ask why he was staring but some girls from a nearby corner had suddenly caught my attention. They saw us talking and they were giving me nasty looks. Before I even knew what was happening, they started running towards us shouting "Adrian, we love you!" and "You rock, Adrian!". Wait. What in the world is going on? Who was this Adrian and why was he being mobbed? What have I gotten myself into this time? I was no match for the horde of screaming fan girls and was instantly pushed away towards the back of the group by his crazed fanatics. Judging from how persistent these girls were, I'd say they weren't just fans...they were groupies. Several of them were holding cameras and taking pictures while most of them were busy trying to get Adrian's attention. I saw a few of them holding posters and that's when I caught a glimpse of the band's name. The Decadence of The Fallen. This was the first time I was hearing about them and to think that I used to be a freelance drummer for several bands back in high school. I would have at least known or met them during battle of the bands or gigs. This either meant that I had probably been living under a rock all those years or they never did any gigs or battles at places I did before. And of course, it was the latter. By this time, a total of about thirty girls had completely blocked Adrian from my sight. Now I was left standing by myself, with only my thoughts to keep me company. This was awkward and it was almost as if I could hear crickets chirping in the background. Okay, I think I'll just leave then... Just when I was about to go, three girls with annoyed looks on their faces suddenly blocked my way. The three of them were wearing different colored shirts but all had prints that professed their undying love for each of their favorite band members. Talk about taking fangirling to the fullest, because aside from their shirts they were also carrying posters and banners with them. The girl with the pink shirt that said 'Marry me, Adrian!' stepped forward and started berating me. "Hey! Who do you think you are?! Do you think that Adrian, my Adrian, will fall for someone as ugly as you? He has standards, you know and you are definitely not his type." "Wait a second! You are getting the wrong idea here. I didn't even know who he was five minutes ago and now you think I'm trying to seduce him?" "Don't try to deny it. It's very obvious that you like my Adrian. Just stay away from him and we won't have any problems," warned the girl in the pink shirt. "And we also don't want seeing you around Josh," said the girl in a blue shirt that said 'Josh, I love you'. "Or Warren. So just stay away!" added the other girl in violet with the words 'Warren Forever' on her shirt. After saying that, the three girls immediately left me to rejoin the mob surrounding Adrian. These girls were clearly hostile and I was visibly shaken after that encounter...being called ugly and unworthy also darkened my mood. I barely knew Adrian and I had no idea who Josh and Warren were and yet here I was being threatened and insulted because of them. What a way to start my day, huh? Seriously, who were they to judge me? Did they confront every girl that came close to their idols? What more things were they willing to do to catch the attention of The Decadence of The Fallen's band members? Putting those thoughts aside, I remembered that my shoes were now completely soaked and I was almost late. So, I decided to just take my shoes off and carry them before I started running barefoot towards my first class. By now, it would take a miracle for me to be able to make it to class on time.Graduation Day. I stood helpless in my graduation robe as I looked at Madison from afar. She didn't even notice me looking at her, which was probably for the best. Today though, I noticed that Madison looked completely different. She looked happy. I guess it was because she was with JD now. He held her hand and she looked up at him lovingly. I wanted to be happy for them so I tried to force a smile on my face but all it did was leave a bitter taste in my mouth. That should be me beside you and not JD. I couldn't help but think about what could have been...what should have been...but in the end, I had nobody else to blame but myself. I'm sorry, Maddie. I wasn't man enough or strong enough to tell you the truth and admit my true feelings for you. I guess all I am is a jerk and a coward who doesn't deserve your love. I regret not telling you. I never intended to hurt you. But I did. I wish I was braver. But I'm not. I never wanted this to happen to us. But it did. I wish
Graduation Day. I never wanted for this day to come but it did and now it's almost over. The thought of leaving was hard and saying goodbye was harder...but saying goodbye to the one you love was the hardest and the most painful. I heard many speeches and quotes throughout this day but as I stood in the middle of West Lane's function hall in my graduation gown, the one quote that kept playing in my head was a quote from a book that I read a long time ago... I'll tell you...what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to someone who smites it. Charles Dickens pretty much sums up what it feels like when love is unrequited in Great Expectations and what it feels like to love you, Adrian. I didn't even see you at all today but you are the only one I kept thinking about. I know that it's probably useless because you'll never get to hea
They say that love isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be worth it. It's not easy to love him but I know that it's worth it. That's why I chose him. I chose Adrian. I had made up my mind but it took me another two years to finally have enough courage to confess my feelings to the guy who stole my heart. It wasn't easy though. I had to break JD's heart and tell him about my decision. The Decadence of The Fallen began to accept gigs again so I also had to endure hours of band practice with both him and Adrian around. Then, I had to put my best poker face on just to pretend like nothing was wrong. But through it all, I just kept telling myself that my love for Adrian will overcome anything... Of course, I had to choose the perfect day to tell Adrian - the day after Valentine's Day of 2010. I don't know if I was being romantic or ironic but these days, I can't really tell the difference. Frankly, I don't exactly know why it took me this long. It could have been because I wa
Christmas vacation was over and a new year has arrived. The year 2008 was only beginning and yet I was already confronted with the reality that it wasn't going to be my year. I forgot to submit a project for one of my major subjects, my band was on the verge of a breakup, and my love life - if you can even call it that - was a big pile of mess. And just when I thought that things could not get any worse, it does. Warren suddenly called for an emergency band meeting at the concert hall one day. I felt that it was too soon because the last time we met, the tension was quite high and we weren't able to solve any of our issues. But he said that it was urgent and that he needed to talk to all of us as soon as possible so I had no choice but to give in. I came to the concert hall with a deep sense of foreboding but my mood immediately brightened up once I saw a familiar figure standing in front of the stage next to Warren. "Bash!" I ran over to him and gave him a tight hug. He hug
I did not expect that I would spend my Christmas vacation thinking about Adrian and JD. I never thought that I would ever be in a situation where I had to choose between the one I loved and the one who loved me. I guess I just wasn't lucky enough to have the one I love and the one who loved me be the same person. I loved Adrian but JD was the one who was in love with me. And now I was struggling... During Christmas dinner, even though the food that mom had worked so hard on and dad enjoyed so much was delicious, everything tasted bland to me. I excused myself to go to bed early and got my parents worried because they thought that I was sick. I'm such a bad daughter, I know, but I guess in a way I really was sick. Love sick to be exact. I know how cheesy that sounds right now but it was exactly what I was feeling at that moment. And so I ended up spending the rest of Christmas dinner locked up in my room and thinking about a way to get myself out of this mess. I have not given
It was a week before the Christmas break and the last week of classes when Spence decided to call for a band meeting one last time for the year 2007. He wanted us to finally settle the issues that have been plaguing The Decadence of The Fallen for the last several weeks. With the exception of JD, who I have been hanging out with along with Leslie these past weeks, I haven't really seen much of my other band mates as of late. I think I saw Spence once on my way to class and Warren, maybe twice, at a cafe but that was it. I exchanged pleasantries with them but it was brief and we usually were in a rush to go somewhere else. I guess it was better than not seeing them at all...like my situation with Adrian. I have not really seen him and Celine in a while and JD never really spoke about them when we were together. It was true that I missed Adrian but the part of me that wanted to avoid him had prevailed all this time. But it was ending today. I was going to see Adrian for the first time