Nanginig ang tuhod ko habang papalapit ako sa gilid ng bangin. Maging ang paghinga ay tila nagiging mahirap na para sa akin. Everything is suffocating, and it feels like it was a crime to do it. With each step I took closer to the end, my hands shivered in fear.
My mind went blank, and my tears blurred my vision. I look down at the rocky end of the cliff as my heart hammers inside my chest and reality sinks in. I swallowed hard as my gaze settled to the dark sea. The dead end.
If my head slammed into those huge sharp rocks, would it be really painful? Waves of laughter filled my mind because of that thought. Why was I behaving so foolishly? You're fucked up, Reign. The cold wind of night puffs against my skin. Hanggang dito ka na lang ba, Reign? I know you're more than this.
"Come on! Are we going to stage any more dramatic scenes here? I can't wait any longer! Jump off the cliff, or I'll shoot your head! You choose!" An irritating voice screamed in frustration. She's impatiently waiting for my end. I didn't move even a bit. But I was cut off from thinking when something touched the back of my head. For a moment, it made my body completely stiff.
It's a g-gun. It is cold, I can feel the coldness of the metal that sent shivers down my spine. It's like it was made to kill, to kill me; to plant its cold metallic bullet inside my head. I forced myself to stay unbothered, not minding how my knees wavered. I moved my left foot, letting it dangle in the air. And I can feel myself almost stop breathing.
"Yeah, that's right, now move your right foot," she said, her devilish laugh creeping me out. What now, Reign? I assumed you wanted it as well. Just be grateful that someone like her is here to assist you. Isn't that what you want? To die just to get out of this hellhole and live your dreams, to die just to get out of this nightmare and live your dreams.
Then why hesitate?
"I said, move! You idiot!" With that scream, everything flashes in my mind, how she has been the villain of my life, how she ruined everything I had, and how she took away everything from me. She took things that were supposed to be mine and made me suffer on my own property. At this very moment, I suddenly feel the desire to live.
I still want to fucking live! When I was going to step back and fight, she pushed me off the cliff. A loud scream escapes my lips as I feel the wind against my skin.
Mabilis akong bumubulusok paibaba, without considering what I'm about to fall into I just stared at her until she looked down on me to make sure I was dead by the time my body hit the massive rock beneath the collapsing waves. Her lips formed into a victorious smile, satisfaction drawn on her face. It was as if she had succeeded in clearing the thorn out of her throat, as if she had breathed a sigh of relief when she had finally finished what she thought shouldn't be in her life.
Tears escaped from my eyes as I struggled not to fall, pero sino ba ang niloloko ko? Wala ng paraan pa para hindi matuloy ang pagkahulog ko. And upon realizing it, I slowly shut my eyes as her image remained in my mind.
Ipanalangin mong mamatay ako matapos ng gabing ito, dahil kapag nabuhay ako, babalikan kita at ipaparanas ko sa 'yo ng mas higit pa ang lahat-lahat nang naranasan ko!
Babalik ako...
Crisanta Muffin.
And right after I said that, naramdaman ko ang pagtama ng likod at ulo ko sa isang matigas at matalas na bagay.
I started to feel a searing pain in my back. It's like my body was torn into pieces by such an impact. I drowned deeper, the water engulfed me, and my body became paralyzed to the point where I couldn't move a muscle.
I can hear a painful sound, tila tunog ng nasisirang makina na bumibingi sa akin. My head aches because of too much pain, I tightly shut my eyes. The pain is unbearable. I almost lost my senses.
I badly want to struggle and swim, but I know my body has given up. My body has reached its limit.
I have completely fallen.
________
I woke up from a nightmare.
Another nightmare? No, because it's the same nightmare I've had since the day I woke up three years ago. My head ached as I moved and made my way downstairs.
Dumeretso ako sa kusina at uminom ng tubig.
Anong oras na nga ba?
3:45 am
Agad kong naikuyom ang kamao ko at mabilis na bumalik sa kwarto at nahiga. It became my routine, matutulog, mananaginip, magigising ng bandang alas tres bababa ng kusina at iinom ng tubig, titingin sa orasan at babalik dito sa kwarto hindi para makatulog ulit.
Napatulala lamang ako sa kisame habang pinapakinggan ang tibok ng puso ko, kasabay ng tunog ng orasan na para bang sinasabi nito na nauubos na ang mga oras ko.
Different memories flash in my mind.
I shut my eyes and got up from my bed and walked towards my window. Hinawi ko ang may kakapalan na itim na kurtina at bumungad sa 'kin ang madilim na labas. Pinagmasdan ko lamang ang paligid, habang tumatama sa 'kin ang liwanag ng buwan. The cold wind touched my skin, I closed my eyes and let myself drown in the feeling of peace that I've always wanted. But then again, in this kind of world, I don't think I could still have it.
This is the best part for me.
Kung saan wala akong ibang maririnig, na tila ba lahat ay napapagod din, lahat gustong magpahinga, sa nakakapagod na umaga, papalipasin ang gabi bago magsimula ulit ng panibagong yugto sa buhay nila. Magsisimula ng panibagong ingay na maglalaho rin.
Everything in this world has an end, even happiness. Do you know what the thing that will never last in this pathetic world is? It's the greed and cruelty of its people.
A desire to be powerful among all beings. Some people are blindfolded by lies, beautiful lies that the world has made up. Without knowing the truth and harsh reality, that this world is selfish, full of deception, greed, and manipulation.
Who would be happy to live in this kind of world? Well, Of course, those people who live in their fictitious kingdom and identity. Those who have a kind of determination to make a change in their lives. For fame, fortune, and power. Believing that money is the most important thing.
Look at how foolish people are and how cruel the world is-executing crimes just to have the life they want.
Some people yearn for justice and fairness, but none of these things exist. They say no one is above the law, that every individual, no matter how wealthy or powerful, is equally subject to the law, but we all know that's one big fat lie. Many people pretend to be deaf and blind to see and hear the reality behind their walls. Laws exist solely for those who can bail their asses out. Laws are just for those who have power and wealth to escape them as if they hadn't done anything.
I only open my eyes to see the sunrise, that iris of fire, so beautiful in its mascara of pure light. It blooms across the horizon, like a golden petal spreading out into the deep blue. My lips curled slightly, and I chose to close the curtain before turning my back and entering the bathroom.
After taking a bath, I walked inside my walk-in closet and chose my very unwanted and unattractive clothes as I did my morning routine. Pagkabihis ko ay agad na rin akong bumaba at lumabas ng bahay, and when I was about to ride my Ducati Panigale V2 when someone appeared in front of me.
"How long do you want to run away from me, Reign Mcdemort?"
Pursed lips, closed brows, a deep set of enigmatic steely gray piercing eyes, a pointed nose, black piercings, and messy gray hair greeted me. When I realized who he was, I groaned.
"Sage Frost, how have you been?"
Rinig na rinig ang tunog nang lagaslas ng tubig na pumupuno sa buong shower room, aside from it being my own heartbeat and my plain breathing.The water flows down on my body, cold yet refreshing, tila binubuhay ang mga dugong dumadaloy sa katawan ko.It sent chills down my spine while my mind remained unstable and covered by clouds and shadows. No matter how hard I tried to heal myself, the scars remained visible and reaffirming. The coldness makes me feel how hard I tried, but it was never enough for me to heal.Matapos ang ilang minuto ay in-off ko na rin ang shower at kinuha ang towel na nakasampay, saka kinuha ang mga damit at nagbihis.Hanggang sa makarating ako sa school, ay 'di mawala sa isip ko ang mga bagay-bagay.Ilang minuto na rin akong nakatayo sa harap ng paaralang pinapasukan ko. Ngunit hinayaan ko lang ang sarili kong malunod sa iba't ibang ingay na tila bumubuhay sa paligid.I can hear everything.Ang pag-uusap ng magkaibigan. Tawanan ng tropa, away ng magkarelasyon,
Tulala lamang ako buong klase, mabuti na lang at nagawa ko nang maayos ang report ko at na i-report ko ito ng naaayon din sa gusto ko.Katelyn tried to approach me, but I tried my best to ignore her as usual. Matapos ang klase ay mas pinili kong paunahin lahat bago ako lumabas. I put my hood on as I put my books and other things inside my bag pack.Pagkalabas ay hinayaan kong maging mabagal ang paglakad ko at tumawid sa kabilang way, hanggang sa makarating ako sa kabilang building. Sa ibang department ito, hindi ko rin kasi gustong dumaan sa kasunod na department.Ayoko pa ulit siyang makita. I am trying my best to avoid that man."Oh girls, you don't know how hard I've tried to seduce him! He's so hard to get, argh!""You know him and what kind of man he is, ewan ko naman ba kasi sa 'yo kung bakit baliw na baliw ka sa lalaking 'yon, he's scary! Para siyang pinaglihi sa yelo at sama ng loob.""Err! Isn't that the exciting part, huh?! Everyone is scared of him while I am always trying
Madaling araw na ng makauwi ako galing sa café. Agad akong bumagsak sa kama dahil sa pagod at antok, nakadagdag pa roon ang pag-uusap namin ni Selene.Ilang parte pa ba ng pamilya nila ang kakausap sa 'kin? Hindi ba nila maintindihan na ayoko? It won't change the fact that I don't want him.But you know that you'll need him.My subconscious mind said.Inis kong ginulo ang buhok ko at tinakluban ng unan ang mukha ko.They can't just manipulate my mind just because of it.If I must suffer, then bring it. I'll endure it without their help! Paninindigan ko 'to, I'd been in hell. Bakit pa ako matatakot at uurong na harapin muli ang impyerno?I woke up in the morning to bad weather. Sobrang lakas ng ulan at sunod-sunod ang pagkulog at pagkidlat. Halos dinig na dinig ang paghampas ng sanga sa glass window dahil sa lakas ng hangin.Agad akong bumaba at inayos ang sara ng mga bintana. Saka bumalik sa taas at naligo saka nagbihis at bumaba ulit para magkape.I browse on facebook for an update,
Kinabukasan ay gumanda na rin ang panahon, may klase na rin kaya nagmadali na akong nagasikaso, dadaan pa kasi ako ng cafe para magbukas at tulad ng dati ay ang inaasahan kong staff muna ang mamamahala noon habang wala ako. Hindi pwedeng si Katelyn dahil pareho kaming may pasok, sa tuwing walang pasok ko lamang siya pamamahalain doon at kapag wala rin ako at may inaasikaso.She cooked breakfast for me and for her. Mabilis akong kumain at nagmadali na rin umalis. As for now, she's earning my trust.Hinahayaan ko siya na maiwan sa bahay, alam ko namang mapagkakatiwalaan ko siya, but even lambs have teeth, hindi pa rin ako nakakasiguro sa kaniya.Pagkabukas ko sa cafe ay dumating na rin ang binilinan ko kaya agad na rin akong pumasok. Malapit na rin mag-start ang first-class ko ng dumating ako kaya nagmadali akong naglakad sa hallway.Pagpasok ko ay naroroon na ang instructor namin.Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at dere-deretso nang naupo sa upuan ko, pagtingin ko ay naroroon na rin si
After class ay agad na rin akong umalis ng sinisigurong walang makakapansin sakin. I don't like how students look at me after what Sage said in the cafeteria.I am known as 'his girl' and I think it just started a fire that will burn me down. That demon is really good at making things hard for me.Umuwi muna ako sa bahay para magpalit ng damit. I wonder where Katelyn is?I haven't seen her after class. She also vanishes into the air and I don't know where she went. I didn't even feel her presence, kahit na nasa tabi ko lamang siya.She seems silent and quite suspicious. I mean, there is something in her mind bothering her. I am a bit curious about what it is. I bet she wants to hear out the story behind me and Sage? What now?I locked the door and rode my favourite Ducati as I drove off my cafe. I saw her serving one of the customers.She looked at me and waved at me as she said "hi" with a smile on her lips.Maybe I was just overthinking it. Nagkibit balikat an lamang ako at tinangua
"What was I told you Reign?""A-Auntie, s-sorry p-po." My hands are shaking, I am afraid that she might do something again."You stubborn, useless child of my husband! Anong magagawa ng sorry mo?! Huh?! I said, don't leave this room unless I told you! Ang tanga tanga mo talaga?! Ngayon? Paano mo maibabalik ang mga client ko ha?! Malas ka talagang bata ka! malas!" She started hurting me using her bare hands, agad siyang kumuha ng sinturon at pinaghahampas ako no'n.I curled my toes as I endure the pain while my hands are covering my face, protecting it from every strike she made, I let myself cried out loud and my step sister just stand there looking at me, laughing. Its her fault."Auntie, t-tama n-na p-po..""Anong tama na? Tangina kang bata ka! Hinahayaan na nga kita rito kahit wala na ang mga magulang mo peperwisyuhin mo pa ako! Come here!"She started dragging me. I felt a scorching pain in my body. I'm tired and hopeless. My body is aching, tired, and weak. I can take another blo
Dumeretso ako sa café, like what I always do. Routine ko na rin iyon simula nang magkaroon ako ng business na ito pagkatapos kong pumunta as cafe ay saka pa lang ako papasok sa school.I was walking in the hall way when students becomes on rush, walking towards the same direction. Hindi ko na iyon pinansin at dumeretso na sa toom and I discover that it's locked.Anong meron?"Wala tayong klase, hindi ka ba na-in form?" Agad akong napalingon kay Katelyn na ngayon ay katabi ko na."I didn't know.""Ngayon alam mo na, tara na lang sa cafeteria. Let's eat. 'Di ka pa kumakain." Nilingon ko naman siya."Hindi na kita naabutan, nang gumising ako ay nakaalis ka na. Medyo tanghali na rin kasi ako nagising kaya hindi na kita naipagluto ng breakfast." Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at tahimik na lang akong na naglakad. Himala at tahimik sa cafeteria, it only means he's not here.Good, mabuti naman at magiging peaceful ang araw ko. Sana lang at huwag na muna siyang magpakita sa akin.Nasa kalagit
It's Saturday.Tanghali na akong nagising, marahil ay dahil sa nangyari sa akin kagabi, naligo lang ako at nagbihis saka nagpasya nang bumaba. Naabutan ko si Katelyn sa salas at seryosong nanunuod ng tv.Napalingon naman siya sa Akin nang tuluyan na akong nakababa."Morning, Reign.""What are you watching? You look so serious.""May panibago na naman kasing biktima, natagpuan malapit sa bar, and from the information I got about your step sis, she's her best friend."Napangisi ako sa nalaman. Mukhang malapit sa kaniya ang kamalasan ngayon. Inuubos ang mga natitirang kakampi niya."Katulad ng mga naunang biktima ang nakuhang mga sugat niya.""I don't know if I want to thank the one behind her death or not," I shrug as I said that and made my way to the kitchen, agad naman siyang sumunod sa akin at ipinaghain ako ng almusal."May idea ka ba kung sinong gumagawa nito?" I was about to speak ng may maalala akong isang tao.Why the heck am I thinking of him?Ano bang nangyari sa isang 'yun at