Chapter 2: Inner Thoughts

Even though I wasn’t entirely sure if the man lying unconscious in front of me was really my patient from room 304, I rushed over to him without a second thought, driven purely by my instincts as a nurse.

I closed the distance between us in a heartbeat, not caring that I had to toss my umbrella aside just so it wouldn’t slow me down.

“Sir? Sir, are you awake?” I called repeatedly while gently tapping his cheek.

He must be running a fever, I thought as a wave of heat met my hand.

“Sir, please stay awake,” I urged when I saw his eyes flutter open, struggling to focus.

Carefully, I lifted him from the floor and laid him across my lap. “Sir, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“Sir?” I asked, confused, as I noticed him whispering again. Wanting to hear better, I leaned my ear closer to his lips. “What is that, sir?”

“D-don’t take me… to the hospital. Anywhere b-but not there,” he struggled to say, his voice weak and trembling. When I finally caught his gaze, he completely lost consciousness.

I let out a deep sigh and figured I’d just go along with what he wanted. 'Damn it, why is it so hard to just do the right thing?' I muttered bitterly under my breath as I struggled to carry him up like a sack of rice.

“So big and strong, yet terrified of the hospital,” I said harshly, my voice cutting through the silence. There was no one to hear me,just me and my frustration, ranting into the empty air llike I was losing my mind. 

It felt like a weight was lifted off my chest when I saw the light. “My house… I’m almost home,” I said happily, like I just won the lottery.

I quickly opened the door and carried the man into my room. “If I get muscles and lose my sexy body because of the weight of your balls, I’m gonna cook those balls and throw in your hotdog too!” I grumbled annoyed at the sleeping guy I was carrying, gently laying him on the bed without caring that he was wet from his damp body.

“I’ll give you money, just don’t touch my balls and my junior,” the patient suddenly blurted out, making me jump from where I stood.

When I looked at him, his eyes were wide open, staring right at me. I grabbed my chest, struggling to catch my breath from the shock. “So you’re awake. Why didn’t you just walk here yourself? You had to make me carry you like some sort of hero, huh?” I said irritably, trying to change the subject because what I said earlier was just too embarrassing.

“I just woke up,” he mumbled, but I ignored him and grabbed a towel and some clothes to change him into.

'Good thing I’m a guy right now and have something to lend him,' I thought as I looked at the T-shirt and jogging pants. 'But I hope they fit, he’s still pretty big,' I added silently, glancing back at the man still lying there.

“Catch this towel and clothes, go change before you freeze,” I said as I tossed the bundle toward him.

I was just about to step out of the room to give him some privacy when he suddenly spoke. “I can’t.”

I turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean you can’t? You’ve got hands, don’t you?”

“You’re the nurse who treated me earlier, right? How come you forgot I injured my arm?” he replied, his tone laced with a mix of confusion and sass.

I shut my eyes tightly in embarrassment.

'Great' 

Without a word, I walked back to him, cheeks burning, and picked up the towel I had so proudly thrown at him earlier.

I gently helped him sit up so I could clean him up more easily. Carefully, I took off his wet shirt and began dabbing him dry with the towel.

“Don’t eat my eggs and hotdog, okay?” he muttered out of nowhere.

Without missing a beat, I smacked him with the towel and jabbed a finger at the biggest wound on his face.

“Ouch! That hurts!” he yelped, flinching away from me.

“You’ve got so much energy to make jokes, but none to take care of yourself, huh?” I snapped, clearly annoyed.

"Sigh. If your stupid good looks weren’t so calming, I might’ve just left you outside," I muttered, talking to the unconscious man like a total idiot.

I continued changing his clothes, then grabbed a basin of water and a fresh towel to wipe him down and help lower his temperature.

Every time I dabbed his face, I couldn’t help but stare. His looks were on a whole different level, like the Creator had a favorite and poured every single ounce of beauty into just one person. As if that wasn’t enough, he had long, thick lashes and naturally pink lips that were ridiculously hard to ignore.

I looked at him, really looked and nearly lost my eyesight when I saw how my clothes clung tightly to his body. My shirt was stretched to its limit, outlining every curve, especially those attention-stealing abs.

“Can I touch them?” I whispered like a lunatic to the unconscious man, sounding like someone dying of thirst in an abs desert.

But instead of feeling thrilled or butterflies in my stomach, a wave of sadness washed over me.

This was the first time I ever felt something like this. I’ve been hiding behind this male persona for ten years, and not once did I let myself experience what it’s like to feel giddy over someone, to have a simple crush, or to dress up just to be noticed. I’ve spent so long shutting down that part of me, the real me.

I snapped back to reality the moment he moved slightly. I quickly shoved all the… questionable thoughts I was having about him out of my head. The last thing I needed was for him to suddenly wake up and see a guy like me drooling over him.

When I touched his skin again, I let out a quiet sigh of relief, the fever had gone down a bit. Once I was sure my patient was stable, it felt like I was a battery-powered doll that suddenly ran out of juice. I just dropped from sheer exhaustion.

I tried to keep my eyes open, but they were getting heavier and heavier, so I finally gave in and let sleep take over, even if I was just sitting there at the edge of the bed.