"I'm in love with the new teacher." I announced, and the whole room fell silent. I could barely look at mum. She was in anguish. I had brought those pains to her already fragile heart. I had broken her heart to a point where the pieces couldn't be mended together anymore. The judge cleared his throat, and peered closely at me. "Are you sure of what you just said, Devan Baker?" He quizzed. I glanced at Mum once more, and gave my reply. "Yes I am." I announced, and the whole room fell into uproar. I gazed at their faces. The irony of life. What was good for me, couldn't be good for you. I wasn't a minor any more, and so I could choose who I wanted to be in love with, or maybe I wasn't supposed to? However, I had chosen to fall in love with Ms. Ellen Dudley the new teacher, and the world thought I was wrong? What did the world know? Things had begun to get messy, and I was in deep shit...
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The week Matt had died had been the toughest for me. I could barely go a day without thinking of him, I had lost him and I was at fault.
With Matt gone, my whole life had taken a cruel twist, turning me inside out, until I could barely breathe. I wanted to live again, I wanted to breathe. However, it was very clear that I wasn't going to be able to live anymore.
My academic work suffered greatly now, as I barely paid any attention to it. This was my final year in high school, but I was sure I wasn't going to be able to graduate due to my poor grades.
After his death, I had spent weeks, and months attending therapy sessions with various therapists. I couldn't cope with living any longer. However, by the time I was declared fit enough to return to school, I was eighteen and already a year behind in my school work.
That afternoon as I strode through the school halls with my headphones on my ears, and music blasting fully into my ears, I knew I had to do something about this broken life, I had to work on myself, but what could I do? There was nothing left to do anymore, except bury my head in my own grief.
The school was almost empty now, as most of the students had left already. I pulled my headphones off my ears, and savoured the silence.
Then slowly, the silence was broken as the sound of a whimper drifted through the halls. I paused briefly and strode carefully towards the sound. I could feel my heartbeat increase as I moved towards the door.
I pushed the door open as quietly as I could, and there she was. It was Ms. Ellen, the new teacher. She seemed small, broken and vulnerable at the same time.
Her head rested on the table as she sobbed uncontrollably. Yet, even with her bent form, her beauty couldn't be hidden. Her short curly hair had been cut to give her the younger woman kind of vibe she emanated.
I couldn't take my eyes off her, her face was perfectly rounded like that of a beauty queen. Her eyes glimmered, although now reddened by unending weeping. Her makeup had been brought to ruins, by her tears.
Her entire form rocked tirelessly in deep anguish. I could guess that it had been a long time since she had been like this. The whole school was empty now, and I didn't know what to do about her. I could just walk off like I hadn't seen a thing or the other way around.
I breathed in deeply, and let myself into her office without a formal entrance, and sat on a seat waiting for her to look up, but she didn't. To be frank, she was so much engrossed in her pains that she hadn't noticed me come in.
I cleared my throat trying to gain her attention. She barely glanced up at me before bowing her head once more. I wanted to comfort her, and let her know that it was going to be fine. But how could I, when I hadn't even dealt with my own grief?
In a moment of reckless abandon, I walked over to her side, and let my hand pat her back gently.
"Are you alright Ma'am?" I quizzed, and tried to hold her, but she fell into my arms, and held unto me so tightly that I feared she was going to squeeze life out of me.
I wrapped my hands around her gently. I knew this was a rather wrong position to be found in with your teacher, but I didn't want to let go, and neither did she.
It seemed like a broken piece of me, had found a broken part of her, and they had somewhat managed to merge to create something unexplainable.
I could feel the hairs on my skin rise in ecstacy. I could almost tell that something was happening to me. The chemistry just seemed so incomprehensible to explain with a jumble of words and letters.
Then just as it had started, it ended abruptly as Ms. Ellen quickly recovered herself and pulled away. Her face was reddened in embarrassment.
"I'm really sorry. I got overwhelmed." She apologized.
I smiled briefly. I didn't mind. I had felt something I had never felt. "I never complained." I whispered.
Her eyes were spitting embers by the time she looked in my direction. I could feel her eyes on me, as I looked away in trepidation, awaiting my fate.
"What did you say?" She muttered with rage at the edge of her voice.
"I should leave." I announced and raced towards the door with her eyes drilling holes through my backside.
I stepped into the open air, and my thoughts ran wild. Something had happened to me in that office. Who was Ms. Ellen, and what had she done to me? I quizzed as I hurried home.
I could barely think of anything else that day. I brought out a board and began to paint a picture of her. From her eyes, to her nose, and her mouth, they were all perfect. She was an accurate depiction of perfection.
As I laid down on my bed that night, all I could do was ruminate on the events of that day. I turned from side to side in an attempt to sleep off, but there I was sprawled out with nothing on my mind, but the new teacher.
I barely saw Ms. Ellen throughout that week again, yet thoughts of that brief moment we had shared lingered. All I could think of was how our next meeting was going to be. I was expectant. Although, I had a feeling it was going to be awkward. It wasn't just a feeling though, it was a fact.
I earnestly looked forward to our next meeting, but it never came, or at least not as I had expected.
However, two weeks after our first encounter, Ms. Ellen appeared at my parents doorstep with a jar of cookies, and a wide smile, introducing herself as our next door neighbour. And then I knew the world was playing tricks on me.
ELLEN The ceiling fan whirred softly, barely producing enough air to reduce the heat that enveloped the room. I turned around, trying to find a better position that suited me. BJ's snores took a higher tempo, and I could tell that he was fast asleep now. I turned to my side on the bed, again, grunting and grumbling, as the heat refused to subside. Exhaustion took the better part of me, and I forced myself to a sitting position. What had I expected from a motel as this one. This was the cheapest one I had been able to find. In fact, this was the only place I had been able to afford. Suzy wasn't back to the room yet. She had stepped out to take a call about an hour ago, and hadn't returned since then. I wondered what was taking her time. I stretched out on the bed, and stood to my feet, yawning tiredly. I couldn't sleep, and no matter what I tried, the sleep refused to come. "Ellen?" Suzy called, pushing the door opened, as she stepped in. I stood fac
DEVAN Regrets, and making bad choices went hand in hand. The house hadn't been the same since Mum had realised what she had done. She had suddenly withdrawn into her shell, barely speaking out anymore. I could barely imagine the amount of disappointment she felt at that point, but I wasn't ready to ease her agony so quickly. School was were I buried myself in now, mostly to keep myself busy, and keep the crazy thoughts away. It wasn't going to be the same anymore. Mum sat by the window side, staring blankly through the window, with a steaming hot cup of coffee in her hand. Each time I looked at her, I knew I had to help her, but it was going to be difficult. She always had a hand in everything that went wrong at home. What was a little pain compared to the series of insults that I had been forced to go through in her hands. I held unto the sides of the wheelchair I was seated in, and slowly forced an exhale out. "I see you, Devan." She said, breaking t
ELLEN A loud, startling knock on the door, flung me off the bed in trepidation. I glanced quickly at my feet, and hissed lightly. My shoes were still on, I hadn't taken them off after getting into the room. I sat at the edge of the bed, and began to pull at them, when the knock came again. I took my shoes hastily, and stared blankly at the wall clock. The time read two A.M. However, the time hadn't served as enough deterrent to whoever was banging on my door. Maybe I shouldn't have rented a room at this motel, I should probably have gone for another one. A safer one, perhaps. A thousand and one thoughts ran through my head, as I held my shoe up in my left hand, just in case there was a need for it, and began to move towards the door. Was there a possibility that Devan and Robb had managed to find me so quickly? I couldn't tell, until I opened the damned door. "Who's at the door?" I quizzed, with shaky hands, and a shoe in it. The silence was enough
DEVAN I could almost swear that she had noticed that our gazes were fixed on her, yet, she busied herself about the room, as if she didn't care. My heart ached to ask her all the crazy questions that burned at my heart. Why was she doing this? I heard Dad say something loudly, but we were all too preoccupied to even care at the moment. Mum began humming a song, as she went about her duties. I didn't know what to feel at that moment, anger, or resentment that she had only noticed me, after Matt's death. "Ms Barker, could I please get something to eat? It was a long walk from school." Sam pleaded, as Mum beamed a wide smile at him. "Of course, Sammy Boy. You're always welcome here. What would like me to get you?" She quizzed, scratching at her elbows agitatedly. Sam's fingers flew to his head, for a brief moment, as if trying to come up with something, and then thy dropped to his side again weakly. "Anything is fine, ma'am. I wouldn't want to be so much o
ELLEN My eyes opened as Robb brought the car to a halt. I exhaled deeply, excited all over again. I was finally home, and although I didn't know where my home was yet though,but I was excited. "You look happy." Robb commented, as the engine died down. I nodded, and beamed a smile at him. "Well, I should be. I was away for too long." He chuckled lightly, and stared at me with a confusing gaze. "You think so? Things aren't the same as you left them." "Oh, come on, Robb. Everything's just fine." "No, it isn't!" He snapped, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. I was taken aback by his reaction. I lifted my hand gently, and rested it on his arm, as he sighed. "What's going on, Robb? Tell me." "Ellen..." He began swallowing deeply. "There's something I should have told you before, but I couldn't bring myself to do it." "What are you talking about, Robb? Spill it already." "It's not good, I promise ." I faked a smile, and patted his a
DEVAN Time they say, had a way of doing things to you, changing you, breaking you, or making you. In all of these processes, you were considered as a chief factor, and I was in this one, somehow. Mornings were usually the busiest, school work, and having to endure the taunting and long stares from everyone at school. Not like I cared much though, but driving through the school halls always had a way of reminding me of a life I had once lived, in fear and in the shadows. That life was due for a change. Maybe, it was time I did something really meaningful with my life. I didn't know what it was then, but I was getting there. It was only going to take a short while now. I tapped my hands gently against the wheelchair, as I drove through the halls receiving the usual whispers, and hushed talks from the bunch of students around the hallway. Exhaustion got the better of me, as I shook my head slightly in pity. "You don't look so good, Devan." A voice said behind m
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