Chapter Four

Rae awoke in the dark.

Everything came rushing back to her. The mating day, the bitter betrayal. She could hardly believe it. The memories were a hand wrapped tight around her neck, squeezing her life's force from her veins. She couldn't sit up. It was almost as if she was glued to the bed. Her heart was hammering against her chest and she was paralyzed with fear.

Negan. Kara. No.

The thought hurt her physically. The pain was enough to make her sit up and look around the room desperately. She was on a bed and the room was dark but not the corridor outside. Light seeped into the room from the crack under the door. She looked left and saw that the window was open. She didn't know why but her heart swelled with pointless hope. She sat up and slowly climbed out of bed. Her eyes were on the window. As soon as she neared it, she saw that it was nighttime. The moon shone brightly in the sky. She could see nothing else but that was enough. It was enough to rock her foundations and bring her down to her knees.

The mating ceremony had already happened. It was over.

Only one other moment, in particular, hurt her as much as Kara's betrayal did. But Kara wasn't alone. It was her entire family. They knew about everything and didn't feel the need to inform her. Why? It was the only question that was on her mind and nothing else. She wasn't wondering when they had started their supposed affair or how Kara even approached him. Although she was curious about that too, she knew that the answer would only hurt her. The only question she needed an answer to was why they felt the need to keep the truth from her when this could have all been avoided. She wouldn't have made so many plans for her mating day. It was cruelty on their part and she didn't like to think of her parents as cruel or evil.

But she couldn't deny the inevitable.

Tears sprung to her eyes but she kept them at bay. Shedding them would make her feel ten times worse, which was physically impossible. She closed her eyes tight and when she reopened them, they were dry.

Rae had to figure out what she was going to do now that she knew about their betrayal. She wouldn't be able to live amongst them while Kara took her place as Luna of StonePaw. She couldn't be a hypocrite like them. It would kill her every day, knowing that her sister stabbed her in the back and mated with her male. And what about Negan? She wouldn't excuse him. He played a part in all of this but she had yet to find out how big it was.

How could he sit across from her and act like everything was perfectly fine? She never noticed anything off about him, apart from the previous night when he would barely look at her. She guessed that Negan should have told her about him and Kara which was why everything was so tense even at dinner. He should have told her and he didn't.

Why?

There was a knock on her door and her heart momentarily froze. She prepared herself to see one of her parents or even Kara at the door but it was just a maid. Rae couldn't even remember her name and she didn't try to. She switched on the light and Rae had to keep her eyes closed so the light wouldn't burn them. When she reopened them, her eyes were watery. She turned to glare at the maid, who looked embarrassed for some reason.

She did not doubt that everybody knew what had happened. Why wouldn't they? They all saw Negan court her for years or knew of their mating. She was probably being laughed at by the whole pack and their neighboring ones.

The thought gave her chills.

"Oh, Lady Rae," the maid said sheepishly casting her eyes down. "I was sent up here to check if you were awake."

"Who sent you?"

"I—Lady?"

"I won't repeat myself," she said darkly, "you answer my question and you do it now."

Her eyes widened in fear. Rae glared at her fiercely. She then nodded and said, "It was the Luna who sent me, Lady Rae."

"And where is she?"

"In the office with the Alpha, Lady."

"Go to her and tell her that I demand to see everyone who stabbed me in the back on this fated day," she ordered. "Tell them I want them all here in no more than ten minutes. If they take longer you will pay the price for the delay. You have been warned."

"Yes, Lady."

The maid scurried out and Rae returned to her position at the window. She could smell the remnants of a barbecue in the air and it broke her heart into tiny pieces. The barbecue was always served after the mating, which meant that her sister and Negan had already been bound before the Moon. The thought made her mouth bitter but she refused to cry. Why should she waste her tears? She would save them for a better day, a more tragic day. She would save it for the day when her heart shattered irreversibly. While she still had spirit in her, they would never leave her eyes.

Never would it be said that Rae of BloodMoon shed her tears in vain, or on banal matters.

She waited patiently for her family to arrive. To her, the wait lasted for an eternity. She was certain that the ten minutes had passed but she was only bluffing. She wouldn't dare to hurt the maid when the people who wronged her walked free. It was Kara who deserved to be killed. Kara and Negan, who misled her for years.

She was staring out the window when they walked in. She sensed only two people. She realized that she was right when she looked and saw that Negan and Kara were absent. Only her parents were staring back at her.

Her father opened his mouth to speak but she put her hand up. "Where are they? Why aren't they here?"

"They mated, Rae," her mother answered, "they are no longer with us."

That was a stab to her heart and she felt the wince rattle her bones. She closed her eyes to compose herself and then asked, "Why did they leave? Don't they think that I deserve an explanation? How could they have done this to me? How could you have allowed it?"

"You do deserve an explanation," her mother said, "and I will give you one but I warn you, it isn't pretty. Do not think that your father and I gladly agreed to what happened. It was out of our hands."

"How so?" Rae asked, standing. She was too irritated to keep sitting. "You were both clearly by her side! You were supporting her instead of me!"

They exchanged a look and Rae couldn't deny that it hurt her. It was blatantly obvious that they were lying to her. They had supported her. They were, in some way, involved. She wouldn't excuse Negan and Kara's behavior but they were also a part of it and so, they were also guilty in her eyes.

"Don't lie," she said, "just tell me the truth. I want to know the whole truth, I don't care about how ugly it is. Just tell me."

Her father took a deep shuddering breath and for an instant, she didn't see him as the Alpha of BloodMoon, who was strong and a fierce opponent. He was just a male, one who couldn't even maintain the integrity of his own family. If he thought that what Kara did wouldn't drag their pack's name through the mud, he was mistaken.

He began by saying, "I cannot express how sorry I am, Rae. I too am and always will be disappointed in your sister but we were left with no choice. Negan of StonePaw had dishonored her. She was with child."

The revelation was a punch to her gut. She doubled back and stared at him with wide eyes. Her mother looked down at the floor. Rae couldn't read her expression. "What?" she asked after a moment of silence. "She's pregnant?"

His cheeks turned red. "Yes, she's a few weeks along."

Rae didn't know what to say. She wasn't expecting that. "How did it all start? When?"

"I am not sure," her father responded. "Only they can answer this question. All that was left for us to do was make other arrangements."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, her voice raising an octave. "How could you keep this from me? Were you afraid that I wouldn't let them mate? That wouldn't even be possible! I wouldn't want him knowing that he and Kara were having an affair!"

"Lower your voice!" her mother hissed. Her face contorted into an ugly mask. Her lips were curled. "You're speaking to the Alpha and Luna of BloodMoon!"

Rae narrowed her eyes at her. Her mother looked at her father and then continued. "Let us not stand here and act like what happened wasn't the best decision for our pack. Kara will be the perfect Luna for StonePaw. She is kind and fair. Generous. She is a righteous female and will honor us for years to come. What about you, Rae? You're spoiled and selfish! You weren't even concerned with tying our packs together! All you ever talked about was leaving and how glad you'd be when the time came!"

"It's because of you!" she screamed. "Because of your favoritism! I knew you preferred Kara over me. When you matched me with Negan it was because Kara wasn't around. After all, if she was, you never should have chosen me! I know you played a part in all of this, mother. I know you told Kara to seduce Negan. It's all clear to me now."

Her voice cracked at the end. She tried to control her emotions before she continued but her mother beat her to it. "I did," she said, "Kara will do what's best for our pack. She is our best hope. Her sense of righteousness—"

"You speak of righteousness," Rae hissed, interrupting her. "You're so sure of her righteousness. Where was it when she stabbed her own sister in the back? Where was it when she was writhing beneath Negan—"

Her mother walked up to her and slapped her across the face. "You will control yourself, Rae. I will not have you speaking like this before us, do you hear me?"

The unfairness of it all hit her then, harder than ever. She looked at her father and then looked back at her mother. She saw hatred shining bright in her eyes, a hatred that was unfounded and undeserved. Slowly, she said, "If you want to paint me as a villain to justify your behavior, be my guest. You say I'm selfish and the opposite of Kara but I was the one who was betrayed. I never meant to harm anyone. I didn't deserve this, I did nothing wrong."

Her mother remained silent. Rae looked at her father and he wouldn't meet her gaze. She didn't pity him. He was just as bad as everyone else. He could've ended it. He could've been honest with her. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm renouncing my position as the daughter of the Alpha."

He looked up then. "Rae, no."

"I no longer wish to be a part of this family, of this hypocrisy. You should've known that you would lose me when you decided to side with Kara. Maybe it's what you wanted all along."

"It wasn't our place to tell," her father said, "your sister and Negan should have been open with you."

"It was," Rae said, returning to her position by the window. "Your excuse isn't good enough. I leave tomorrow."