The Reluctant Alpha

To best understand the present and prepare for the future, one must look to the past. So as I sit in Kurt's apartment, sitting Indian-style on a yoga mat, I let my mind wander. I let myself go back. To go back to what I like to call our beginning.

It wasn't a happy beginning, but it was where our story truly started. And it was from the ugly pain that we came together. We might be broken, but together we will rebuild ourselves stronger than before. And if we can rebuild ourselves that way, I have to believe together we can rebuild his grandmother's pack.

****Three Years Ago****

Thwack. “Useless.” Thwack. “Worthless.” Thwack. “You could never be a hunter.” Thwack Thwack. “You’ll never be as good as Khalid.” Thwack. Thwack. “I wish I had never given birth to you.” THWACK. Thud. I blinked, clenching my jaw, trying to not cry out in pain as tears welled in my eyes. 

I didn’t even dare look up at my mother. I just laid there on the training floor, holding my bruised ribs. She didn’t say anything more, and I could tell by the hesitation of her shoes that she considered kicking me but instead turned and walked out muttering about how worthless I was.

I laid there waiting till I knew she was gone before even trying to get to my feet. I groaned, wincing as I managed to stand up. Everything hurts. But nothing hurts more than my heart. I’ve always known my mother didn’t love me. I have felt it all my life. But it’s getting worse each year. 

She can write off all the physical abuse as part of my combat training. But the verbal abuse… it's not necessary. She doesn’t talk that way to Khalid when she spars him. Why must she be so cruel to me? What did I ever do to make her hate me? Because I had to have done something, right?

I just need to know what it was so I can make it right. Maybe if I fix whatever I did, my mom won’t be mad. And then she’ll treat me the same way she does Khalid.

I doubt I’ll find it out today. I fight back my tears as I slowly make my way down the hall, having to lean into the wall to stay upright.

She really did a number on me today. I should go to the infirmary. But why bother? It will only help my physical pain. And I’d prefer to just focus on that than the emotional pain. “Hey, sweetie.” Dad's smile faulted as he saw me coming around the corner. “Another rough session with your mother?” he frowned.

“I have a lot to learn to get better in combat. But don’t worry, dad. I’m and Adio. I was born to be a great hunter like the rest of our family.” I forced a smile at him. Please don’t see through my fake smile. Please just take it at face value. 

“That’s the way. You’ll improve. I just know it.” He smiled, kissing my forehead. “Now I have a meeting with your grandfather about some werewolves causing trouble in India. Go get yourself patched up and rest.” he nodded, heading down the hall.

I sighed in relief that he didn’t question me further. I don’t think I could handle it otherwise. I thankfully didn’t run into anyone else as I made my way from the lower levels of our guild’s base and into our family’s home. With her at best indifference to at worst outright dismissive attitude, mom has the others in the guild follow suit. I don't have a friend among them.

In the house, I crept to the kitchen, grabbing an ice pack, a bottle of water, and a bag of sweet chili Tiger chips to take up to my room. I paused, hiding behind the wall when I heard giggling from the living room. Carefully, keeping low even though it hurt to do so, I crept around the corner to see what was going on.

I rolled my eyes seeing my brother making out with Dania Opeyemi, a girl from our school. I can't stand her. She’s not part of the guild and is utterly clueless about the supernatural. She’s also one of those prissy girls that hang on my brother because they think he’s so handsome. 

Gag.

And worse, I have to hear them talk about him. Some have tried to act friendly to me to get close to him. Dania isn’t one of those. No, she’s a total bitch to me, unless he’s around. When he’s around, she’s suddenly sunshine and rainbows and makes me out to be the bitch. 

What I wouldn’t give to kick her ass. But even if I know I could, we have a strict policy about fighting humans. Unless we can prove they are using witchcraft for dark purposes, we leave humans alone. I’d say she’s used dark magic to get her tongue down my brother’s throat. But that would imply he wasn’t willing. 

Khalid knows the girls at school think he’s hot, and he uses it to his advantage. He’s a total playboy. My dad says Khalid will settle down, but for now, there's nothing wrong with him sowing his wild oats for now. 

Gross. 

“Khalid…” Dania’s giggle becomes a moan. I resist the urge to vomit as they disappear from sight. I don’t want to know what they are doing on our family sofa. I make a mental note to dose it with Lysol before ever getting within two feet of it. Using their distracted state, I hurry up the stairs and into my bedroom. 

Tossing everything onto my bed, I grabbed my laptop, tossing it onto my bed too. I sighed, pulling my tank top up enough, frowning as I looked at the bruising across my soft bronze skin. Is that what my mother doesn’t like? That somehow, I ended up being of a fair complexion than her and dad? 

I mean, it’s just like my blue eyes and this blonde streak that make up the left side of my bangs. They are a genetic abnormality. Recessive genes managed to win. It isn’t like I can control it. I sighed, digging into my desk and taking out the roll of bandage. 

Clenching my jaw, I wrapped my ribs then put the ice pack over that, wrapping it in place. “That’s the best I can do now.” I sighed, pulling my blood-stained tank top back down. I settle onto my bed after moving my pillows around to create a little fort to support me in a slightly upright position. 

I set my bag of chips on the bed and my water on my nightstand as I opened my tablet. It took my five passwords to log in since I have to use so many encryption programs. Technically the guild only requires four layers of encryption. I use the fifth to keep them out, especially with what I had planned.

I’d researched for a few weeks before deciding to join this forum. I’d created a profile. Deciding to use Ceraun was going to be my handle. Of all the options for teens dealing with abusive households, this seemed the best. I sighed, taking a pained sip of water as I contemplated what to wring.

Ceraun: I’ve never done this before. Not just joining an online forum. But I’ve never talked about what really happens behind closed doors. I don’t even know where to begin.

I was still trying to think of what more I should even say. I didn’t expect an immediate response or anything. But soon, I got a notification that someone had commented. I quickly opened it to see what the response was.

Narchis: This is a safe place, Ceraun. No one is going to judge you. So just start where you feel comfortable.

I smiled because I felt like, for once, someone was going to listen. I hadn’t realized how alone I felt and how desperate I belonged until I started talking to Narchis. That first night we ended up DMing since I wasn’t fully ready to tell my truth to everyone.

They, well, he as I found out, was very understanding. He didn’t push me to talk about anything. He let me control the flow of the conversation. And as I shared my story, telling him how my mother never wanted me. How she was constantly emotionally abusive, comparing me to my perfect older brother. And how recently she’s becoming physically abusive.

He listened without interruption and shared his story. He came from a broken home, to put it lightly. His dad had raped his mom. As a result, his mom was always somewhat distant from him. They have a restraining order against his dad. But the man was always finding ways to violate that restraining order. And the times he has resulted in Narchis getting hurt. 

I felt for him. I felt such a solid connection to this complete stranger. It was more profound than any connection I had with even my family. What probably would have been just a one-off turned into talking a couple of times a week. To eventually us talking daily. We shared all our secrets or at least those we could.

 I couldn’t tell him about the guild or anything like that. He’d never understand that part of my life. I mean, he’d think I was crazy if I told him my family hunts supernatural creatures. And the last thing I want is for Narchis to think I’m weird. He’s the first friend I’ve made. I can’t lose him because my family is VanHelsing level freaks.