Prologue

"You had been stalking me for years, but you don't know that I can use a gun?" I asked, trying to sound sarcastic. 

"Wife. Please, give me that f*cking gun. Now," he commanded. 

                                    

"Accius. You can't just order me like that. I'm not one of your f*cking dogs!" I snapped. 

I may look brave right now, but inside of me is already trembling. I wanted to shout at him, I wanted to ask him so many questions. Pero hindi ko magawa. Dahil kung tatanuning ko siya ay maaaring biglang bumuhos ang mga luha kong kanina ko pa pinipigilan. 

He nodded and sighed. "Okay. You can have that gun. You can point that on me. Whatever you want, Doll. Just please, don't leave me." 

"Please, just don't leave me. I love you," he pleaded. His eyes were now gentle, like how I always see him. So different from what I saw earlier. 

My mouth parted, shaking my head. "You don't love me, Accius. You're just obsessed! That obsession of yours won't take us anywhere."

Napailing siya na parang hindi makapaniwala sa mga naririnig mula sa akin. He needs to hear this from me. He'll not stop if I'll not tell him myself. 

"Don't f*cking underestimate my love for you, Dollina." I can sense the pain, mixed with anger in his voice. 

"If you do, hindi mo gagawin ang lahat ng ito, Accius! This is crazy madness! You just murdered someone! What did you do?!" I shouted with all my heart. Pakiramdam ko ay sasabog ang dibdib ko sa halo-halong nararamdaman. 

His jaw clenched. Hindi pa rin nagsasalita.

"You can't even explain yourself! Because it's true–" 

"Doll. Please. If I did, that's for you–"

"No! Don't you dare tell me that it's because of me! My goodness, Accius! For me?" I snapped. I can feel my hand trembling. 

Hinang-hina na ako dahilan na bumuhos na ng tuluyan ang mga luha ko. My sight turned blurry because of my tears. I looked down at my pumps that had a stain of blood. 

"Doll, please. We will talk but not like this and not here. Mag-uusap tayo kapag kalmado ka na," he said gently. 

This place is full of blood, guns, knives, whips and so many things that make me want to puke. Nakakahilo ang mga nangyayari. 

Dumapo ang tingin ko sa dalawang lalaki na puno ng dugo sa katawan. Gusto kong masuka sa itsura nila. Hindi na halos makadaing sa sakit na nararamdaman dahil sa wala na itong mga boses. Naghihingalo na ang isa, habang ang isa ay patay na. 

He took a step closer to me.

"Don't you dare come near me!" I pointed the gun at him properly. 

"He's still alive. If you still have a heart, please bring him somewhere that can treat him." 

Hindi siya agad nakasagot. "Did you hear me, Accius?" 

He let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "I will… I'll do that, just don't leave–"

"Stop! Just stop…" I cried. Hindi ko na halos mahawakan ang baril ng maayos dahil sa panghihina ko. 

"Hindi ko na alam ang mga ginagawa mong ito, Accius… Ano ba itong pinaggagawa mo?! You're making me crazy!" 

I don't know what to do anymore. I couldn't think straight. Kung ano-ano ang mga iniisip ko na mangyayari sa kaniya. I can't call the police. I can't just do that to him. I don't even know the truth behind all of this. I can't still process what just happened. To him, to me, and to us. 

I thought we're okay. We're going to be like those husband and wife that have a normal life. Not toxic and just healthy. But his love towards me has something that we can't be together. Mali ang paraan ng kaniyang pagmamahal. 

Nakakatakot. Nakakasakal. 

Hindi ko na kaya pa harapin ang lahat ng ito. I'm tired physically, mentally and emotionally. All I could think to do was run away. Run away from him and from everyone. Run away from the darkness.