Kabanata 4

Chapter 4

Today is the wedding day. Everyone around me screams excitement, including my parents and Markus' s.  Halata ang saya sa mga mukha nila, habang pinapalibutan ako sa loob ng Hotel Room kung saan nagaganap ang Pre-wedding shoot.

"Dahan-dahan ang pag-angat ng tingin sa camera, Miss Aragon. You're exquisite gown suits your pretty face very well." ani ng videographer na binigyan ko lamang ng maiksing ngiti bago bumaling sa mesa kung nasaan ang phone ko.

The pre-wedding photoshoot started at 4 am, and its now 4:45 already, but I still cannot be at ease. I am afraid. Kagabi, upon arriving here at the hotel, I received a call from Tita Mel saying that Markus cannot be found. Hindi ako mapakali sa kakaisip at sa takot na baka hindi ako siputin ni Markus sa simbahan.

"Can you leave us for a minute? I just want to have a talk with our daughter," ang tinig na iyon ni Mommy ang nakapagpa-balik sa akin sa kasalukuyan. Napalingon ako sa direksyon na kinaroroonan ng parents ko at nila Tita Mel at Tito Jordan. Halatang ang winikang iyon ni Mom ay para duon sa videographer at ibang staffs na kasama namin sa loob ng Hotel room.

Mabilis namang sumang-ayon ang mga ito at kaagad na lumabas. When everyone left, except my parents and Markus' s parents, Mom immediately walked closer to me.

"Iha, what's bothering you? Are you alright?" Mom asked. Halata ang bahid ng pag-aalala sa mga mata at sa tono ng pananalita nito.

Sandali 'kong inilipat ang tingin ko kay Dad, at halos madurog ang puso ko ng makitang nakayuko ito habang nakapikit at naka-kunot ang noo. Sila Tita Mel at Tito Jordan naman ay magkatitigan lang, na animo'y nag-uusap sa ganoong paraan.

I felt sad and guilty all of a sudden. I gulped before releasing a fake smile, "There's nothing wrong with me, Mom. Ayos lang ako..." Pagsisinungaling ko, upang sana ay mapa-gaan ang mga emosyon ng mga ito. But instead of it, Dad's tears suddenly collapsed. Nag-angat ito ng tingin kaya kitang-kita ko ang pag-bagsakan ng luha nito. "Daddy..." I mumbled, trying to reach him out.

Dad shook his head in disappointment, "I'm such a cruel father for asking you to do this, Eliza...I'm sorry, you shouldn't be the one sacrificing your life because of what happened..." Dad said before looking down that made my heart break. "Hindi dapat ikaw ang naiipit, hindi dapat kayo nadadamay ni Markus dito..." Dugtong pa nito.

Because I am aware that I'm wearing a make up, I did everything I can to stop my tears from flowing. "Dad, tama na. I already accepted it, there's no turning back now..." I whispered which only answered by Dad's shaking of his head.

Then his eyes darted to Tito Jordan and Tita Mel, whose busy looking at us while also having a pained face. "Let's talk about this, Mel and Dan...I cannot bear this. I cannot do this to my princess---"

"Dad no!" I butt in. "I accepted this already, and this is the only solution we came up with. Ayos na ako, ayos lang sakin 'to. Markus and I are friends, and we are still are. We agreed to do this together and we both accepted this already. Enough for the sudden pulling back, lets finish the shoot so we can start travelling towards the church," I said using an ending tone before putting my gaze back at Tita Mel, who looked flushed and sad. "Tita, let's finish this please..." I said, that immediately agreed by Tita Mel before walking away to call the staffs to continue the shoot.

After that scene with them, we finally finished the pre-debut shoot while Tita Mel and Tito Jordan---together with my parents decided to leave my hotel room to arrive at the church. Naiwan ako na kasama sa loob ng kwarto ang make-up artist para i-retouch ulit ang make-up ko. But all those times, I was nervously panicking inside.

"Done, Miss Aragon." The make-up artist said that awakened my sanity. Natagpuan ko itong nakangiti habang tanaw ako, kaya naman nginitian ko din ito pabalik. "Thank you," I replied. The videography team immediately wrap their things up so we can gradually leave the hotel room.

The bridal car is already parked in front of the hotel we are staying in, and is just waiting for me to go out. Nasa likod ko ang ilang staffs na hi-nire nila Tita Mel para alalayan ako. Every steps, every movement is photographed, I didn't know why this simple wedding became this too maintenance, cause as per as I remember, I told our parents to not make this wedding that cozy.

"Fix the gown, it should look stunning!"

"The camera angle should reach the beautiful scenery behind my daughter,"

"Remember to post the official portrait okay?"

I closed my eyes a bit while listening to mom's rants. Nang hindi na makayanan ay binuksan ko na ang pintuan ng bridal car upang silipin ito. Naabutan ko naman si Mommy na halos hindi magkanda-ugaga para makausap ang mga staff ng photography team.

"Mom, enough for that." I butt in that immediately caught their attentions. I signalled mom to stop what she's doing.

"Iha, I'm just making sure that they will do their---"

"They'll do their job properly, Mom. Hindi ito ang unang kasal na iko-cover nila, and I already told you to make this wedding simple." I said before sighing, "Can you just get inside the church and settle down yourself. Kaya na namin dito sa labas. You should be there, together with Dad."

Mommy was silent for a moment before looking back at those staffs, I think she just signalled those to do their job well before putting her gaze back at me. "Fine, I'll get in. Goodluck, iha." She said to me.

I just nodded as an answer. Nang makitang papasok na si Mommy sa simbahan ay kaagad 'kong pinalapit ang assistant na naka-assign sakin.

"Clea, give me my phone." I ordered her. Clea immediately searched the phone inside her bag, and when she found it, she gave it to me. Mabilis ko iyong tinanggap at tinignan ang mga mensahe.

In total, I received a multiple number of messages. Ngunit isang pangalan lamang ang hinanap ko, at ng makita ay kaagad ko iyong binuksan. My heart was pounding while slowly reading the message. And when I was done reading, I cannot help to release a sigh---a sign of relief.

Napasandal ako sa kinauupuan ko at napapikit. "Atleast I am now certain that he'll come..." I whispered to myself. Kahit papaano...tingin ko may pakialam pa rin sa akin si Markus. Kahit papaano, may halaga pa din ang pagka-kaibigan namin para sa kanya.

Nang imulat ko ang aking mata ay hindi ko napigilang mapangiti ng maiksi habang nakatingin sa nakasaradong pintuan ng simbahan, habang inaalala ang nilalaman ng binasa 'kong mensahe.

From: Jarred

Magkasama na kaming dalawa ni Markus. He told me that he will attend the wedding, so relax and be calm. Naniniwala akong sa kabila ng mga nangyari, mahalaga ka pa rin para kay Markus, at hindi ka nya hahayaang mapahiya.

Slowly, the gate of the church slowly opened, and I was exposed standing infront of the wooden door. I lifted my head to see the people who attended our wedding. We only invited few people---some of them know the real score between the marriage, while some of them is still clueless and thinks that Markus and I are part of the 80% of friendships that turned into lovers.

They didn't know that because of this marriage, the friendship we cared for and treasured for how many years is no longer visible.

Napalunok akong sandali bago nagsimulang humakbang kasabay ng pagsatinig ng kantang He has chosen you for me ni Sarah Pipes. The song screams solemnity and love from God above. But while walking closer to the altar, the question about me and Markus being chosen for each other makes me feel numb and oblivious.

I felt my feet started to feel frozen and stoic. And from where I was, I saw Markus' s face with a plain facial expression. Nakatayo sa tabi nya si Jarred na nagawa 'pang tanguan at ngitian ako bilang pagbati. Natatakluban ng belo ang aking mukha kung kaya't hindi na ako nag-abala 'pang suklian ang ngiting iyon ni Jarred. Sa halip ay nanatili ang tingin ko kay Markus.

Walang bakas ng kahit kaunting ngiti sa mukha nito. Halata naman ang kaunting gusot sa noo nito, na tila ba pinipilit nitong itago at pigilan ang iritasyon. Napalunok ako bago marahang yumuko ng muling bumangon ang guilt na nararamdaman ko.

Kaunting hakbang, at kaunting oras na lang tuluyan na kaming matatatali sa isa't-isa. Mangangako kami sa harapan ng diyos, na pakamamahalin namin ang isa't isa at magsasama buong buhay namin.

Dapat ko pa 'bang ituloy ito kung ngayon mismo, alam ko ng hindi namin matutupad ang mga pangakong iyon?

My steps got halted right after that question strike my mind. Nanatili ang mata ko sa kinaroroonan ni Markus na nasa akin na rin ang tingin. Sa kabila ng belo, apektado ako ng kakaibang tingin sa akin ni Markus ngayon. Pakiramdam ko'y kahit buong pagkatao ko ay nakikita nya.

"Eliza...why did you stop? Continue walking..."

"Liz, what's happening?"

I clearly hear the noise and questions around me. Batid sa boses ng mga ito ang matinding pagtataka at kaba. Maybe they are thinking that I'm planning to run away.

Gustuhin ko 'mang gawin iyon ngunit parang hindi ko ata kaya. Dahil si Markus, kahit labag sa kalooban nya ang kasal na ito, dumating pa rin sya upang hindi ako mapahiya. At sa oras na tumalikod ako at tumakbo, pamilya nya naman ang malalantad sa kahihiyan. Hindi ko 'yon kayang gawin.

Pero ano nga 'bang pipiliin ko?

Dapat ko pa 'bang ituloy ang kasalang ito, at ipangako sa harapan ng diyos ang mga bagay na alam 'kong pareho naming hindi kayang tuparin?

Isang butil ng luha ang pumatak sa aking pisngi na siyang nagpayuko sakin bigla. Tila ginising din ako ng luhang iyon sa matinding pagka-lulong sa malalalim na kaisipang iyon. Sandali pa akong nakahinto, nagpakawala ng buntong-hininga upang pakalmahin ang sarili, bago muling nag-angat ng tingin.

Ngunit sa pag-angat 'kong iyon, ang papalapit na si Markus ang namataan ng aking mata. Seryoso itong naglalakad ng marahan palapit sa aking kinatatayuan. Ramdam ko ang katahimik ng mga nasa loob ng simbahan, habang pare-pareho kaming tinu-tunghayan ang balak na gawin ni Markus.

Anong gagawin nya?

Aalis na ba sya?

Nagbago na ba ang isip nya at na-realize nya na talagang walang patutunguhan ang kasalang ito?

Those are the questions resulted by my over-thinking mind.

But those questions and nervousness suddenly got wiped away when Markus' s hand suddenly touched mine. He then look at me seriously, before pulling me calmly towards the altar of the church. We heard the delight of the people around us, while me...I only heard the superb beating of my heart, and It's sudden calmness.