Chapter 2

Dusk was approaching, and I heard the front door slam shut. It meant that my father hadn’t had a successful day, and he was in a mood. It was more than enough for me to choose to stay hibernating in my room. Overall, he wasn’t a bad man, but when he was in a mood, he could turn nasty. Not always, but sometimes, and I couldn’t be listening to the thinly veiled jibes about Scotland being poor hunting ground. 

It was less him blaming me and more me blaming myself, but either way, it would hurt. The raised voices seemed to start almost immediately. I was intrigued to know what they were arguing about. It was a rare occurrence for them to even raise their voices at each other, let alone a full-blown argument. I sneaked out of my bedroom and laid myself down carefully on the varnished wooden floor of the hallway. 

I knew if they were paying even a remote amount of attention, they would have heard me lurking. With any luck, they were too busy fighting to worry about what I was doing. Ironically, my dad got really mad at me when I tried to listen in to their conversations. Despite the fact, he could listen in to everyone in the house without even trying. 

“This isn’t fair to her.” I almost slinked back to my bedroom when I realised they were talking about me. That was something I really didn’t need to hear.

“Which would you have me prioritise her feelings or her safety?” It was enough for me to be interested. Out of nowhere, I felt the warmth spread over me. It was different to the other times like he was there, but not quite there. Somehow, I knew he was only there to listen in, just like I was. 

“We don’t even know for sure if she would be unsafe. She will be mixing with humans, not vampires or anything else, for that matter. She’s miserable stuck here.” The pleading in my mother’s tone both touched me and made me feel guilty.

“I would rather her be miserable and alive than happy and dead.” It was just like my father not to really understand the actual issue. If I was dead, I would feel nothing, and that was preferable, whether he understood it or not.

“Really, just think about that for a minute. She’s already had more years on this planet than most humans get.” There was something about the way my mother spoke that made me feel like she didn’t quite believe her own words. I wondered how much of what she was saying she actually believed and how much of it was her saying what I believed.

“So what? You’re happy for her to go and die now.” He was really starting to get angry with her. He didn’t sound angry, but dismissive and sarcastic. It was his go to when he was annoyed, practically laughing at those around him. He had a knack for making people feeling ridiculous.

“NO! I just think she deserves some happiness in her life.” Mum sounded horrified that he would twist her words in such a way. I wanted to go back to my room, but something inside of me told me that I needed to stay.

“I want that too, just not at the expense of her life.” I scoffed slightly as he spoke, but quickly covered my mouth with my hand. He would lose his mind if he knew I was spying on them.

“She will keep herself safe. She isn’t stupid. It’s not even like we are far away. We could be there with her if anything happened.” I wondered where they were suggesting I go, it seemed like they had a destination in mind. Regardless, it seemed silly to suggest they could be by my side quickly when we were so isolated. The woods surround the cabin went on for miles, I was already allowed to go right up to the boundary.

“You’re not going to let this drop are you?” I was willing my mother to say no, but I wasn’t sure she had it in her to argue with my father to that degree. She tended to back down to what he wanted. Sometimes, I resented her for it.

“Not in the slightest.” My heart seemed to skip a beat. It meant even more that my mum would stand up to him, because it was so out of character. She loved me enough to push him.

“Fine! A single hint of trouble and she comes straight back here, and she isn’t living in.” I wasn’t even certain what they were talking about. All I knew was it involved leaving the cabin and actually seeing people. I wanted to scream with joy and excitement, but I couldn’t. I slowly slipped back into my room, but I was certain I sensed my dad looking in my direction. He might not see me, but I knew he had heard me. I really should have moved before he started to calm down. 

I grabbed my coat and ran down the stairs. “Mum, is it okay if I go for a walk? I won’t go far.” I wanted more than anything to share the news with my invisible friend. To tell anyone, really, but he was the only person I knew, and I didn’t even really know him.

“Yes, that’s fine. Don’t be too long. We need to talk to you.” I could still feel him and knew he was close. I headed towards the woods and I was sure I was heading towards him. 

Just as I thought I was getting close, he shifted. He seemed to be moving so fast, circling me. “You need to keep your distance. It’s too dangerous.” It was as though he was answering my unasked question.

“What’s dangerous?” It was odd to me that anything could be considered dangerous, when according to my parents the whole world was. The concept almost made danger lose all meaning in my mind. 

“The whole world will be against us.” He seemed to whisper it even more softly that his usual whispers. As though, even in my mind, he was worried someone would overhear us.

“I just don’t understand.” All I wanted was to know who he was. How could that be so dangerous? 

“Esme, you need to be patient.”

“Who are you?” I already knew I wouldn’t get an answer, no matter how much I wanted one.

“I can’t tell you. I wish I could.” As much as I wanted to see him face-to-face, to know him, I was getting angry with him and risking chasing him away with my pissy inner thoughts. 

“Why do you come here?”

“I have no choice. My body and soul compel me. It’s too painful to stay away.” As he disappeared from the woods, I felt more confused than I had been before. I sat down on the leafy floor. I had no idea why I even did it. It just felt like my legs wouldn’t quite move. Whenever he disappeared, it left me with an empty feeling and I had no idea how to fill it. 

I thought about what he said as I walked back to the house, running my hands along the trunks of the trees. He definitely wasn’t human, but it left me no closer to who or what he was. I was also pretty sure he wasn’t like me or my parents. I tried to erase the thoughts of him from my mind before I got back. My mum would know instantly that something was on my mind otherwise.

As soon as I walked in the door, my parents sat me down, well my mum did. My dad just stayed in the corner brooding. She told me that I would be starting at UHI University in Inverness. It was about forty minutes from our house and I already knew without asking that I would be commuting each day. I didn’t care. I was too excited to get away and see real people. 

I had never been remotely in contact with anyone my own age. I might have been on the earth longer than them, but I didn’t feel like that. It was as though I never grew up and I never would. The entire idea was almost depressing. It was like my maturity was linked to my physical form and that wouldn’t ever get any older. 

The academic year had already started, but my dad had pulled some strings to get me in as a transfer. I could only assume they had forged documents to make it work. As soon as she had finished, I ran up to my room. I had expected him to be there, but he wasn’t. I wanted to tell him the news. He was the only person I could even share my excitement with. 

It was the weekend and I wouldn’t be starting until Monday, but I still couldn’t wait to get ready. I started busying myself by picking out an outfit. I had never really put much thought into the idea of clothes before. There was little need when I never saw anyone. Suddenly, I felt so insecure about the idea of being judged by others. I wanted to make a good first impression. I had never even had a friend before. It was so exciting but also rather daunting. 

I decided that simple was best and put on jeans and a pink silky top my mum had chosen for me. Grabbing my old homeschool supplies from under the bed, and placing my pencil case and notebooks in my bag. My bag wasn’t the best. It was old and a khaki green colour. I had only even used it on my trips into the woods and often used it for foraging. It was the only one I had, so it would have to do. 

I slumped down on my bed. The excitement was waning, and there was nothing but terror left in its place.