Chapter 007

Lily

I walked out of the door and got into my car, tears welled in my eyes. My heart twisted painfully in my chest, three years of marriage and for what.

I twisted the key and the engine roared to life, I knew where I was going. I was going to see the person who never stopped loving me and caring for me, even though sometimes I got stubborn.

I drove into the hospital's parking lot and took the elevator to my mother's room. She was on the fourth floor. The elevator's door slid open and the smell of detergent and medicine hit my nose. I walked hastily to my mother's room door.

I hesitated at the door for a few minutes before tightening my fingers around the door handle and finally pushing it open. The room smelled of antiseptic and silence. It was quiet, not peaceful, just quiet which made my heart shift painfully in my chest. My mother laid there, tubes running through her mouth and nose, the machines were the only things that dared to make a sound.

“Mum,” I called out, my voice came out smaller than I expected, like a child who had lost her way. My eyes were burning with tears from betrayal and the fact that my mother laid there helplessly and I couldn't run into her arms and just cry it all out.

I walked towards her and leaned on her forehead, pressing my lips on her forehead. She was pale and still, her chest rose and fell with the help of the machines.

I pulled the chair which was on the side closer to the bed and sat, I placed my palm on her hands and gave her a gentle squeeze, tears streamed down on my face, I couldn't find the words, my throat tightened and my nose flared. I took a deep breath, trying to find myself.

“He's divorcing me mum,” I finally say in a whisper. My face was hot from the tears, I stared at my mother, a bitter smile tugging in my lips.

I felt her arm once again, it was warm, like always, but lifeless, she couldn't make any movements, though I knew her heart was aching for me. Ever since my mother fell down the stairs, she has been in a coma. The doctors said that she would be fine, but it had been two years. My mother was not someone that was so careless as to trip and fall, but I couldn't make any accusations since I had no proof and worse of all, I had no one on my side who would back me up.

“You always hated hospitals,” I murmur, “ you always said that they smelled like endings,” my throat tightened. “ Well, you were right,” silence swallowed the room. I stared at her face, searching for something, anything, that showed me that she could hear me.

“M…mum,” my voice cracked, and suddenly I couldn't hold it in anymore. “ Why did you leave me, why,” I wailed, the words came out harsher than I meant.

“Why did you leave me alone with them,” I said, my lower lip trembling. My grip on her hand tightened, but my hand was trembling.

“Do you know what it’s been like?” Tears blurred my vision, but I didn’t bother wiping them. “They took everything… everything you left me.” A shaky breath escaped me.

“Dad doesn’t even look at me the same anymore. It’s like I’m… I don’t know… like I’m some stranger in his house.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “No… not even a stranger. At least strangers get basic kindness.”

I let out a hollow laugh that hurt more than crying. “They took him from me, Mum. Her… and her daughter. They took all of him.” My lips trembled. “And now… he hates me.” The word lingered in the air like poison.

“I don’t even know what I did,” I added softly. “I tried. I really tried to be enough.” I could feel my chest tighten, making it hard to breathe.

“And then there’s him…” My voice faltered. Remembering what Nolan has put me through, the coldness and the embarrassment. I looked down at our joined hands, my tears falling onto her pale skin.

“I thought… I thought at least my marriage would be different. That someone would choose me.” I said a broken laugh slipping through my trembling lips. “How stupid, right?” I said, shaking my head slowly, the tears spilling down my face.

“He knew, Mum. He knew we were married, he knew how much it meant to me… and he still—” My voice snapped, and I pressed my lips together, trying to steady myself. “He cheated on me.”

The words felt like glass in my throat.

“With her.”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“My own stepsister.” My voice dropped to barely a whisper. “Of all people… her.”

The room felt colder.

“And now…” I swallowed hard, my free hand instinctively moving to my stomach. “…she’s pregnant for him.” the words hung heavily in the air, it felt suffocating.

“And he wants a divorce…he wants to divorce me .” My lips trembled uncontrollably. “Just like that. Like I’m nothing. Like I never mattered.” A sob tore through me before I could stop it.

“He doesn’t even care how I feel, Mum. Not even a little.” My voice broke completely. “It’s like I’m already gone to him.”

I bent forward, resting my forehead against the edge of the bed, still holding her hand like it was the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely.

“I’m so tired,” I whispered. “I’m so, so tired.”

For a moment, I just cried, letting my frustrations all out in the air, I could feel my heart bleeding from deep inside me, a place where I couldn't reach. Then, slowly… I found my voice again.

“There’s something else…” My voice was barely there now. I pressed my hand firmly against my stomach, almost protectively.

“I’m pregnant too.” The confession felt like it shattered something inside me. I let out a bitter laugh. Trying my best not to crumble.

“I don’t even know what to do,” I admitted, my tears soaking into the sheets. “How am I supposed to do this alone? How am I supposed to bring a child into this mess?”

I let out a weak, broken laugh.

“Maybe I’m just like you now… talking to someone who can’t answer.”

I felt the silence, only the machines responded with the beep sound.

“I need you, Mum,” I whispered desperately. “Just… wake up. Please. I don’t care about anything else. Just wake up and tell me what to do.”

My fingers tightened around my mother's again, as if I could will her back. But nothing changed.

I don't know how long I had stayed there, my tears eventually slowed, replaced by a dull, aching emptiness.

I rested my head beside her on the bed, still holding her hand. The steady rhythm of the machines became distant… like a lullaby I didn’t mean to listen to. My body was too exhausted to fight it anymore.

And somewhere between heartbreak and silence…

I fell asleep.