002: Revelations

Andy’s POV.

His words slammed into me like metal bricks.

“W-What?”

That must have been a mistake. I didn’t hear properly. There’s no way he just said he’s getting married to August.

No way.

That’s not true. It’s not—

Liam grabbed my chin, his fingers digging hard into my skin. I stared at him, my mind racing to understand what was happening.

A bitter laugh came out of him. “So it’s true.” He said, leaning down into me. His grip tightened. I could see how much he was straining. “You really can’t feel anything.”

I couldn’t.

Since I was born, I’ve been unable to feel anything physically. Touch, pain, nothing. Not the wind, not cold, not heat, not even my clothes.

“You’re like a piece of dead wood.” Liam said with disgust, tossing my head to the side. “You’re really fucking naive Andy. How the fuck did you think I’d love a woman that can’t even feel when I touch her?”

I touched my chin. Nothing. I couldn’t even feel my own touch.

“No wonder you never reacted when I tried to touch you.” Liam continued. “When I kissed you, did you even feel it?”

No.

I’ve never felt anything.

Not once. Not even by accident.

But Liam…

I met his eyes. The tears in my eyes are real. I can tell. “I love you,” I sobbed. “Liam, I love you. And I…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I don’t want you to look at me like a—“

“Freak. Just own it, sis. You’re a freak.” August said. “That’s all you’ll ever be. Liam honey, don’t listen to her lies. This woman has never loved anything in her life. How can she? She can’t even feel”

“That’s not true!” I cried out, grabbing Liam’s hands. “Baby please, you have to believe me. I…I love you. Please. I love you, Liam.”

Judging by the look in his eyes, I knew it was a lost cause. I was trying to force a rock to drink water.

“I love August.” Liam said, pulling his hand away from mine.

I forgot how to breathe. My ears rang and my heart exploded into my chest.

I love August.

August.

It’s always August. Every single time.

“I’m so sorry sis,” August drawled. She jumped off the bed and walked in front of me, fully naked, hooking her arm with Liam’s. “It’s not your fault, okay? You know how the heart behaves. We tried to stay away but…our love is too strong.”

“She’s right,” Liam echoed. “You were too blind to see it.”

I clenched my fists.

It’s not my fault yeah? Bullshit. All my life, from the day my father brought home the kids from his second marriage, August has made it her mission to torment me.

Liam won’t be the first.

But in the past, those were all crushes. Liam is different. He’s my first boyfriend. Tonight, I was going to finally give my virginity to him. Even if it was guaranteed I wouldn’t be able to feel that.

That’s how much I loved him.

“Please,” I tried again. This has to be a mistake. Maybe Liam is angry, I get it. “Please tell me it’s not true,”

The smaller gift in the bag, the small jewelry box that cost everything, seemed to mock me.

“Now that we’re speaking about secrets,” August’s blue eyes narrowed, “have you told him the other secret? The one that starts with A and ends in Y?”

My heart plummeted to my chest. “August please,” fear, one of the emotions that’s become a permanent part of my life, grabbed my heart.

Her smile widened. “Ah, you haven’t.”

Liam turned to her, his eyes more gentle than if ever seen. “She’s hiding more things from me?”

“Please!” I dropped to my knees, not even knowing when I did it. “You promised! August, please!”

My step sister burst out laughing. “Baby, look at her! So well trained!”

“What is this about?” Liam questioned. But I could barely hear him.

Tears streamed down my face as I stared at her. “You want him, okay fine. Have him! But please, don’t do this to me. I’m begging you!”

August nodded, smiling to herself in satisfaction. “I’m glad you still know your place, sis. Even after all these years. Don’t ever forget it.”

“Babe, will you tell me what’s going on?”

I pleaded with August, shaking my head. She can’t. We had a deal years ago, she promised.

“It’s nothing serious. Just that she did drugs in college,” August replied, her eyes shining with hatred. But then she turned to Liam and kissed him. “I guess she’d try anything just to see if she can feel.”

“Pathetic.” Liam laughed, kissing her back.

I died and this is my hell. This is my punishment for what I did. Watching my step sister kiss my boyfriend. In front of me. And knowing that she has the keys to destroy me.

My heart hurts. It really hurts. Why can’t everything just be numb the way my skin is? Why do I have to feel this pain? Why?

“I’ve been thinking,” Liam said, pulling away from August. “If I fucked you, would you feel that?”

“Ew. You want to fuck her? It’d be like fucking a corpse!”

My shoulders tensed. I pretended her words didn’t hurt me. I grew up with August, I’m used to her insults.

But what hurts is that Liam is laughing. “You’re right.” He said. “Fucking a corpse. That’s disgusting.”

“Oh! What’s that?!”

Before I could react, August grabbed the fallen gift back and tore it open.

The small jewelry box fell out first. Then the larger box.

August laughed. “Sis, is this real? You bought a ps5? Aren’t you broke? Where did you get the money for this?”

“For real?!” Liam exclaimed. I watched as the excitement sparked in his eyes as he took the box from August.

I had been looking forward to this moment. The time when I gift him this, because he had been talking about it for months. But now he’s looking at August, and not me.

“And this?” She picked up the smaller box and opened it. She turned to me, her eyes filled with a mix of fury and shock. “A wedding ring? What, were you going to propose to him?”

Shame.

That’s all I can feel.

Slowly, I got to my feet. “Give it back,” I reached out for it.

Liam started laughing. August joined him. Their laughter ground on my nerves hard, making me feel foolish.

Utterly. Stupidly. Foolish.

I snatched the ring box out of her hand and grabbed back the ps5.

“Awww what a lover girl you are, Andy. I almost feel sorry for you!”

Except she doesn’t.

August would cut me to pieces and not feel anything.

“It’s fine,” I said, trying to make my voice sound strong but I just couldn’t. I stared at Liam. The man I’ve loved for so long. The one I wanted to give my everything. I tried. I tried so hard for him, so hard to feel.

And it was all for nothing.

My step sister won. Again. Just as she always has.

“You’re free to join us if you want,” August called out as I turned to leave.

I glanced at them one last time, my vision blurred by tears. The way Liam had his arm around her waist. The way his eyes held no single warmth for me.

I opened my mouth to say goodbye and all that came out were tears.

I ran. Tears streamed freely down my face and my heart wanted to shatter. I heard them, both of them, laughing.

***

I’ve lost everything.

My job. My boyfriend. Whatever fragile relationship I had with my step sister. Oh and my dignity.

Gone.

I sobbed the entire way out of the hotel. Even as I went to the store to return the ring and the ps5. The tears just won’t stop.

After everything I did. Everything I gave up. Liam wasn’t working. I was the one that paid for everything. I let him crash at my place till he moved in. I paid for his courses. Made sure our fridge was always stocked, no matter how much overtime I had to work.

I’d hoped that after we got married, things would get better and we’d pull finances together.

Now I have nothing to my name. I’m not even sure how I’ll cover rent next month.

My phone lit up with a message. I reached out for it, my eyes too blurry to see the message.

When I finally read it, I saw that it was a reminder for…a cruise?

I sat up in my tiny bed, clutching my tear soaked pillow to my chest. “What?” When did I book this?

After checking my emails, it became clear. I’d booked it on a whim a few months ago, right after I got a small bonus at work. And the date was—

“Today?!”

Hell no. I was absolutely in no mood to go on a cruise!

My heart faltered and I immediately thought of Liam and August.

Maybe this will do me some good? A distraction? What if Liam comes home and I have to face him after knowing everything?

I can’t handle it.

I got out of bed, and got ready. In an hour, I arrived at the port. The ship was so beautiful and impressive, but I didn’t have the joy in me to sit back and admire.

My first stop the moment my pass got cleared was the bar. Glass after glass of expensive, imported alcohol. I think they’re included in the f*e; I don’t know.

I thought the alcohol would help but all it did was make my heart ache worse.

“Rough night?” The bartender asked as he refilled my glass.

“I feel like I’ve been thrown into a meat grinder.” I replied with a dark chuckle, running my finger over the mouth of my glass. “This is free, right?”

“Yes of course. But maybe you should switch to water?”

I shook my head, downing the last of my whiskey. “I plan to drink my liver into acute failure by the time this trip is over.”

He laughed. And somehow that made me laugh too.

The night stretched on and on. I don’t know how much I drank. But at a point, I stopped seeing straight. I stumbled over to the railings, dry heaving and staring down at the Black Sea.

I could only hear the rushing waters. I couldn’t even see my face staring back at me.

It’s all over. My life. My love. Everything. If I get off this ship, I don’t know how I’ll survive. All I have to my name is twenty measly dollars.

My grip on the railing tightened and I leaned over.

Maybe becoming fish food won’t be such a bad idea.

“Are you going to jump or not?” A voice asked behind me. Deep and rich, with a rough quality , like the sea crashing angrily against the waves.

It was so sudden that my grip slipped.

And I plummeted face first into the water.