WAVES BENEATH THE SILENCE

Minsan, pakiramdam ko para akong multo sa sariling buhay.

Nasa loob ako ng isang napakagarbong bar sa BGC, pero wala akong pakiramdam na totoo akong bahagi ng lugar na ‘to. Ang mga ilaw ay masyadong maliwanag. Ang musika, masyadong malakas. Ang mga tao, masyadong buhay.

Ako? Tahimik. Mag-isa. Nakatayo sa sulok habang hawak ang isang glass ng red wine na hindi ko naman iniinom.

“Celle, please try to look like you’re having fun,” bulong ni Iya sa tenga ko, sabay ngiti habang tinutulak ako papasok sa gitna ng dance floor.

"Nag-eenjoy naman ako... quietly," sagot ko habang nililibot ang paningin.

Birthday ni Tori Cheng. Hindi kami super close, pero dahil college friend siya ni Iya at pareho naming kilala ang mga tao sa inner circle, kailangan daw naming dumalo. Kailangan, dahil... image. Reputation. Associations.

All the things my mother drilled into my head since I was fifteen.

Pero wala naman sa kanila ang dahilan kung bakit ako pumunta.

Ako ang dahilan.

Ang sarili kong desperadong kagustuhang makalimot. Kahit isang gabi lang.

Napatingin ako sa paligid. Sobrang daming tao. Mga lalaki sa designer suits, mga babaeng nakasuot ng halos wala. Lahat sila sumasayaw, naglalasing, tumatawa na parang walang bukas.

Then, something shifted.

Parang biglang tumigil ang oras. Parang ako lang ang gumagalaw. Kasi sa kabilang dulo ng bar, may isang pares ng mata na nakatingin diretso sa akin.

Dark eyes. Intense. Dangerous.

Ang katawan ko, parang may sariling isip. Napatingin ako sa kanya, tapos napalingon agad palayo. Gusto kong iwasan. Pero naramdaman kong papalapit siya.

My heart started racing.

“Hey,” a low, masculine voice said from behind me. Deep. Confident. “You don’t seem like you belong here.”

Huminga ako nang malalim bago ako lumingon.

At doon ko siya unang nakita nang malapitan.

Tall. Lean. Commanding presence. Naka-black shirt, rolled up sleeves, a Rolex on his wrist. Hindi siya yung tipikal na rich guy na sumisigaw ng ‘mayabang’ — he was quiet... but terrifyingly magnetic.

“I could say the same to you,” sabi ko, trying to mask the tremble in my voice.

He smiled — slow, almost amused.

“I’m Renzo,” he said, extending his hand.

Nag-alinlangan ako for a second, pero tinanggap ko rin. “Celle.”

"Nice to meet you, Celle," he said slowly, like he was tasting my name.

May something sa boses niya na parang sinasadyang maging kasalanan. Mainit. Malamig. Parehong panira ng balanse.

“Gusto mo bang sumayaw?” tanong niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa akin, diretso, walang pag-aalinlangan.

Hindi ko alam kung anong tumulak sa akin para pumayag. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the noise. Or maybe... it was the way he looked at me — like he already knew I was trying to escape something.

Tumango ako.

Ang dance floor ay parang ibang mundo. Matingkad ang mga ilaw. Humahampas ang bass sa dibdib. Pawisan ang mga katawan, dikit-dikit, umiikot sa parehong rhythm ng isang awit na hindi ko kilala.

Pero nang magdikit ang katawan namin ni Renzo, wala na akong narinig kundi ang sariling tibok ng puso ko.

His hand landed on my waist — firm, steady.

Masyadong malapit. Masyadong mabilis. Pero hindi ako umalis.

“You okay?” bulong niya sa tenga ko.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” sagot ko, habang pilit kong pinanatiling normal ang boses ko.

“Maybe,” he said, his breath hot against my skin. “But you look like you're trying to disappear.”

Nag-freeze ako.

What did he just say?

“Am I wrong?” tanong niya, habang patuloy kaming sumasayaw. His movements were controlled, sexy, almost predatory. But gentle enough to make me feel safe. For now.

“I’m just here to dance,” I said, avoiding his gaze.

“Then dance with me. All night.”

And I did.

Hindi ko namalayan ang oras. Lahat ng inhibition ko, nawala sa bawat hawak niya, sa bawat ikot ng katawan namin, sa bawat ngiti na hindi ko inasahang ibibigay ko sa isang estranghero.

Sa unang pagkakataon sa matagal na panahon... I felt seen. Tanggap. Walang tanong. Walang paghusga.

And it scared me how much I liked it.

Bumalik kami sa bar. Huminga ako nang malalim. Pawis. Nanginginig. Hindi dahil sa pagod — kundi sa kaba.

“Want to get some air?” tanong niya.

Tumango ako, and before I could even think twice, hawak na niya ang kamay ko. Mainit ang palad niya.

And I didn’t pull away.

We walked past the lights, the crowd, the noise.

The hallway to the elevator was dim and silent, a stark contrast to the wild chaos of the party we just left.

Pero mas maingay ang loob ko. Mas magulo.

Renzo was walking beside me, his hand still wrapped around mine. Minsan mahigpit, minsan maluwag — para bang hindi rin siya sigurado kung gusto niya akong bitawan o yakapin.

Pagdating sa harap ng elevator, he turned to me.

“You sure about this?” tanong niya, eyes locked on mine.

I paused.

Hindi ko alam ang tamang sagot.

But what I knew was this: I didn’t want to be the girl who always followed rules tonight. I didn’t want to be the governor’s daughter, the obedient heiress, the perfect image of control.

I just wanted to feel... something real.

“I’m sure,” bulong ko.

Ding.

The elevator doors opened, and we stepped in.

As soon as they closed behind us, he pressed the button to the top floor — then turned to me, eyes burning.

His lips crashed into mine.

Mainit. Mabilis. Mapusok.

His kiss was wild — like he’d been holding back all night. And maybe he had. Pero ang hindi ko inasahan... was how I kissed him back with the same hunger.

My hands gripped his shirt. His arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me slightly. My back hit the elevator wall, and I gasped when his mouth found my neck.

“Ang sarap mo,” he murmured against my skin.

I trembled.

And I didn’t know if it was from fear... or excitement.

Pagpasok namin sa suite, the door barely clicked shut when he pushed me gently against it.

Hindi niya ako minadali.

He paused, forehead resting against mine.

“One last time... Tell me to stop, and I will.”

My voice was barely a whisper. “Don’t stop.”

And that was all he needed.

He kissed me like the world was ending.

Hindi madali. Hindi magaan. Hindi rin marahas.

Pero totoo.

Each touch was deliberate. Every breath he stole from me was returned in a kiss deeper than the last. I didn’t know where to put my hands at first — sa balikat ba niya, sa dibdib, sa buhok — pero nang naramdaman ko ang init ng palad niya sa balat ko, kusa akong sumuko.

His hands roamed slowly, exploring the curves of my body like he was memorizing me, not just touching me.

I closed my eyes when his mouth found my neck again, then lower — slowly, reverently. He kissed the swell of my breast through the thin fabric of my dress, then slid the strap down with aching patience.

"You’re so soft..." he murmured, lips brushing my collarbone.

Nang mapagtagumpayan niya ang zipper ng dress ko, hinayaan ko lang siyang hubarin iyon. I was left in nothing but lace underwear — breathing hard, trembling, half in fear, half in anticipation.

“Celle…” he whispered, eyes burning as he looked at me. “You’re perfect.”

His lips found my nipple — warm, wet, and teasing.

Napasinghap ako. Napakapit sa buhok niya.

He sucked gently, slowly, swirling his tongue until my back arched toward him on instinct.

And then I felt his hand slide between my thighs.

Mainit. Makinis. Mapanukso.

He started rubbing me through the lace, eyes never leaving mine.

“Can I?” tanong niya.

I bit my lip and nodded.

Dahan-dahan niyang ipinasok ang kamay sa loob ng panty ko, and I gasped when his fingers found the wetness between my folds.

“Basang-basa ka na…” he whispered, voice hoarse.

His fingers moved in slow circles, finding my clit with precise pressure that made my legs tremble.

“Does this feel good?” he asked, kissing my lips softly.

“Yes...” I breathed.

“Good girl,” he murmured, and then he slid a finger inside me.

Napakapit ako sa braso niya, mouth parting from the sudden stretch.

“Relax,” bulong niya. “Just feel me.”

His pace was unhurried, careful. His thumb continued to stroke my clit while his finger curled gently inside me, coaxing pleasure I’d never felt before.

I moaned softly, hips starting to move with his rhythm.

Then he kissed his way down — my stomach, my thighs — until I felt his breath between my legs.

“Wait—Renzo—”

“Shh,” he said. “Let me taste you.”

He pulled my underwear down, kissing the inside of my thighs as he spread me open.

Then his tongue touched me.

And I shattered.

Soft, slow licks at first — teasing, tasting, learning. Then deeper, faster, focused on the bundle of nerves that pulsed with need.

He sucked gently on my clit, his fingers still moving inside me, and I heard myself moan louder than I ever had in my life.

“That's it,” he murmured against me. “Just feel. You’re doing so well, baby.”

“Renzo... I— I can’t...”

“Yes, you can. Let go.”

And I did.

I came with a cry, hips jerking, thighs trembling, vision white.

He kissed my thighs as I came down from the high, and when he crawled back up and kissed me again, I tasted myself on his lips.

“I want you,” I whispered.

He looked into my eyes. “Then I’m yours.”

He undressed quickly — shirt, pants, briefs — revealing his full length.

It scared me. But it excited me more.

He positioned himself between my legs, holding my face with both hands.

“I’m going to go slow, okay?”

I nodded.

He guided himself to my entrance and pushed gently.

I gasped — a sharp, burning stretch.

Then he froze.

His eyes widened.

“You’re… Celle, you’re a virgin?”

My breath hitched.

I nodded slowly, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.

“I didn’t know,” he whispered, voice suddenly so gentle, it broke something inside me. “God, baby… I’m so sorry. I thought— I wouldn’t have rushed if I knew.”

“You didn’t rush,” I whispered. “I wanted this. I want you.”

He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my lips.

“I’ll be careful. I promise.”

He moved slower this time, letting my body adjust to him inch by inch.

He whispered to me with every push.

“You’re so tight... so warm... you feel like heaven.”

“You’re doing so well.”

“I’ve never wanted someone like this.”

I wrapped my arms around his back, holding on as he began to move — slow, deep, rhythmic.

At first, there was pressure. Discomfort.

But then... it melted into heat. Into pleasure. Into something overwhelming.

I moaned his name. Over and over.

He thrust into me with gentle power, kissing me between movements, holding me like I was fragile and sacred at the same time.

And when I felt the second wave of release building, I wasn’t scared anymore.

“Come for me,” he whispered. “Let me feel you.”

My body obeyed, convulsing around him as he groaned and came inside me, holding me close like he never wanted to let go.

We stayed like that.

Naked. Breathless. Shaking.

He kissed my forehead.

Then my shoulder.

Then the scar on my back I always tried to hide.

Neither of us said a word.

But in that silence, something inside me changed forever.

I wasn’t just touched.

I was undone.