CHAPTER 05

Commitment is not needed when you only want sex. I don't need some reassurance for a fucking promise when I only want a dick and good performer to give me the pleasure I want.

I have been called so many names. I have been told so many unreasonable words. I have been through bullying. I have struggled a lot since I was a kid.

Giving myself good sex and pleasure now is my way of thinking I had it good. At least, hindi ako mamatay na virgin, ‘di ba?

Sex without commitment is a win-win situation for me. Because I had no plans in entering a damn relationship. It would only cause me heartbreak, tears, and all that matters. I have no time to waste on a damn lose case.

Walang lugar sa akin ang mga relasyon. Hindi naman kasi totoo ‘yon. Malay ko bang nakikipagrelasyon lang ang iba kasi uso?

Si mama ko nga, iniwan, e.

“Mmmm. . . Ah!” ungol ko.

Shit. I didn't know I was this flexible! Damn it! Fuck!

He then slowly started thrusting. I matched his thrust by moving my waist. Naka angat ang dalawang paa ko, nakasabit sa balikat niya kaya tanging bewang ko lang naigagalaw ko. I gripped the sheet tighter.

He looked at me while he was thrusting. It became fast and faster as I begged. He watched my pained and pleasured reaction. I moaned his name relentlessly.

“Psalm! Ah! Shit!”

Tumagal iyon ng halos kalahating oras dahil ang tagal niyang labasan! I didn't want it out when he's not cumming! Ilang beses na akong nilabasan pero siya, isang beses pa lang! I hate it and I want it equal! I didn't want to look so thirsty!

We did it a lot of times. Hanggang sa napagod na ako at nakatulog. I got a glimpse of the time and it was already three in the dawn when we decided to stop.

Hanga rin talaga ako sa stamina ng isang ‘to, ah? Pang long lasting.

But I had no time to praise it. I was so tired that I couldn't stand. Sa tingin ko, magiging baldadu ako sa mga ginawa namin.

Sex and pleasure is all there is to it. I don't have to praise him. He was good, yes. But I am no sentimental that I'll praise his talent in fucking.

After this, he will be a stranger. A completely no one. Well, there is nothing to be kept. Sex lasts only overnight.

“You did good…” walang buhay kong sabi.

It is not to praise him but to acknowledge his talent. Dapat ring bigyan ng appreciation ang mga taong ganito, 'no! Para mas lalo lang gumaling!

“I'm good at everything…”

At oo naman. Hindi mawawala ang kayabangan.

“Your dick… magaling siya…”

Narinig ko ang tawa niya.

“Yeah, talented junior…”

Halos mapa irap ako. Hindi dahil sa sarap kundi sa iritasyon. Mayabang nga.

“Hindi talaga mapagkakatiwalaan ang mga may biblical names…”

It was not to convey I have trusted him but to offend him.

“My name is not my personality. You can say, it's my identity, but it’s never to describe me.”

“Tsk. Ayaw mo lang sa pangalan mo…”

He scoffed. “Well, I heard you called my name while moaning, though. Let's say, it's a good sign.”

Napairap ako.

“Baliw.”

I am not sentimental. I could forget anyone if I wanted to. I could erase people in my life if they bother me enough to remove them. I could cut off people without having to feel guilty because I did so.

I lived my life thinking my father left us, and I am not considerate to feel guilty leaving anyone. Kung kaya akong iwan ng tatay ko, pwede at kaya ko ring iwan ang ibang tao.

Nabuhay ako sa isang paniniwala na lahat nang iiwan, kaya bakit ako matatakot mang iwan?

Psalm's talent was good. He was rough. He was good to be exact. But I had no plans after this. I will forget.

But…

That was hot, though. Sexy.

But, I don't remember if I have eaten enough. Kaya siguro napagod ako?

There is no lie when they said Psalm is the monster in bed. I had my experience to prove. He was hard and metallic.

Actually, in the duration, he has his morals risen up. He was rough, yes. But he knew how to handle orgasm. He knew how to balance pleasure. Maybe that's the reason why he is called a monster in bed.

He has priorities set up, his law school. Sa galing niyang mag balance, pati aral at landi napa pagsabay niya. So very contradicting to mine. Well, we have different lives.

Halos hindi ko na kayang tumayo nang pinalitan niya ang sheets kaya naman sumampa nalang ako sa likod niya.

Bahala kang maghirap!

I slept later that night. Masyado akong napagod kaya wala na akong pakialam na wala akong suot.

What a night. What a beautiful birthday.

Orgasm only lasts overnight, and this will just be a memory.

I don't keep memories nor remember and be sentimental about it. Whatever happens, stays to where it happened. There is no need to remember.

Parang tatay ko lang. He left. He left us. He never came back. I didn't have the chance to have a father. A lot of people around me sometimes misunderstood me.

Kesyo, kaya ako pasaring at kung sino-sino na lang ang lalaki kasi lumaki akong walang tatay. Ang sagot ko naman, ano ba'ng pakealam niyo?

Just like what always happens, I will forget.

I won't think about what will happen tomorrow. Now is important. I have to rest. I have to fucking rest my soul. I was so damn tired. His dick was big and I fucking need a lot of energy to take it. I have to rest.

Just like that. The night ended with us fucking our souls up.

What a night. His body is the best birthday gift ever.

Not to brag. But, I got it.

“Tired, huh…” he whispered.

“Fuck you…”

“Another one?” He chuckled.