My body froze and the confidence I had earlier slightly buckled. Parang gusto kong umurong at mag isip. Sumigaw at magmura. Tawagan si Alex at humingi ng tulong.But no, I can't do all of that. I cannot buckle up now. Hindi puwede. I know I should have given myself a proper and enough time to think this through, but the thought that the people here are throwing me allegations and worse accusations horrified me. Mr. Almario’s laugh echoed the whole office. The look of every eye inside screams judgment and pity. I felt… embarrassed… humiliated.I looked at Mr. Almario and made myself composed as much as I could.“I hope you don't choke on your laugh and die early, Mr. Almario.” I chuckled, voice low. “I really do…” Tinapunan ko ng tingin ang iba pang katrabaho. Some are avoiding my eye contact as if they are ashamed of judging, and some are holding it in looking so proud they're judging me. I scoffed as I got the letter on my table. It was really a show cause letter. I gripped it t
Confusion and anger filled me in. Confused because she didn't answer my calls when I called her for God knows how many times already! And yet, she answered Psalm with just one call? Anger because I felt… betrayed. Kaibigan ko siya… ‘di ba? Maasahan ko siya… Kaya ko siyang pagkatiwalaan…In fact, I only trusted her, and only treated her as my only friend. My only resource. But… this?I would understand if she's busy, or that she's doing something really important. But how could he answer Psalm's call and ignore mine? Ako ang kaibigan niya, ‘di ba? “Why did she answer your call?!” I shouted after throwing his phone. Sa galit, at sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, kinuha ko ang cellphone niya at pinatay ang tawag bago iyon itinapon. I looked at him with anger in my eyes. I could burn him with my stare right now, if only I could light a fire with my anger.Nakatayo na ako ngayon. I looked down on him, he looked at me… shocked.What? “I don't know….” “Why did she answer your call and igno
Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. I feel like I'm stuck in a memory and it's playing in my head in a loop. Hindi ako makawala. Nilulunod ako ng mga alala na ‘yon.My mother's words I kept with me, I swore to abide, I made it my principle. Maybe… I was not really kind at all. But I can never commit such a mistake… more of a crime.I hate thieves. Tita Meredith is a thief. She accused my mother of her own doing. Ginamit niyang pantakip ang Mama ko para maging biktima siya sa paningin ng mga tao. At ang Mama ko, masama.I can never forget that. I despised that memory. And I made it my driving force… to not be like her. I would never be like her. “Why would they accuse you of stealing? Hindi ka nagnakaw, hindi ba?” Psalm drove us off to my condo.Ewan ko kung tama bang nandito siya gayong wala akong ibang nagagawa kundi ang tumunganga at paulit ulit na isipin kung ano ba talaga ang ginawa. Ano ba talagang nangyayari?It won't sink in to me. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin. Wala akong ninanakaw, kaya
I didn't steal anything! Hell! Bakit ako magnanakaw! I worked my ass off to finish my degree, topped the bar and worked decently to be paid well! I won't steal! Hinding hindi ako magnanakaw!I may lack morals for some things but I would never do such a thing! My mother raised me well, and even if I have ruined views about certain things I know, it's not enough for me to commit such a crime! I would never steal… especially that I'm working in this company.I dialed and dialed Alex’s number. Gulong gulo ako. Gusto kong kausapin si Ma’am Matilda pero hindi na niya ako pinagbuksan ng opisina dahil marami pa siyang online meetings na dinadaluhan. And Mr. Almario took off early and I can't even contact him! Hindi niya ako sinasagot! No one is answering my calls and queries. And even if I don't want this to go to Alex, I have no choice.I need help. At si Alex lang ang kaya kong pagkatiwalaan. Alex is not answering her phone. I don't fucking know what to do anymore! I have already rece
If someone… will show me love, will I know what's love by the time, then? And if that happens… will I truly love? Or… I just love the idea of knowing how it is to be loved? Magulo, pero… nakakaakit. Malabo, pero gusto ko… Nakakatakot, pero paano kapag hindi pala? Paano kapag ang takot pala na ‘to ay ang katotohanang… gusto ko din namang magmahal… at mahalin.I grew up thinking that my father left me, and my mother for that he has another family, and we are just a mistake. I am a mistake. Me and my mother… is his mistake. Buong buhay ko, palagi ko iyong naririnig. Sa mga kaklase, taong na sa paligid na alam ang sitwasyon namin, at maging ang mga taong tinatawag ni Mama na pamilya — sila Tita Meredith at Tita Tanya.Lumaki ako na sinasampal nang paulit ulit ng reyalidad— wala akong tatay, at dahil ‘yon sa hindi niya kami gusto…. Hindi niya kami gusto ni Mama. Pagkakamali niya kami, at hindi minamahal ang pagkakamali.So, believing in love now seems… foreign to me. I despised it, but
Madilim, pero maganda… Masaya, pero nakakatakot. Saka ko lang naramdaman ang labis na lamig nang hanggang bewang ko na ang tubig. The night was so beautiful in my sight. The moon was placed in between the sky and the sea… it was far, yet it looked so big… scary and starry. Marahan akong bumaba pa para maka-langoy sa malalim na parte. I took my time under the water, it felt like nothing… The blur sound feels like everything. I can only have this peace when I'm drowned. It felt like a rumbled heart of mine was trying to fight. Umahon ako. Nakita ko ang paglangoy ni Psalm palapit sa akin. Hinintay ko siya. When he showed himself in front of me, soaked, he was already naked. “You didn't tell me you wanted to swim… You brought clothes, right?” He raked his wet hair back using his fingers. He looked hot. When I looked into his eyes, it showed me the reflection of the moon. Starry and beautiful. Deep and soulful.“I guess, I can just go home… naked?” I joked.“No…” umiling siya. “You ca