Whispers of the Heart

PROLOGUE

My hands trembled as I searched for the phone. I knew it had to be around here somewhere. She was never without it, always within reach, waiting for that next call. The call that would lead to either the next big hit or the means to an end. My hands felt blindly, frantically through the sheets. Not finding what I needed, in desperation, I ripped them from the bed. I breathed a sign of relief as I heard, no felt a thud on the floor next to me.

I was temporarily deaf. The pounding of my heart fueled the high amounts of adrenaline running through my veins, creating a dull roar in my head, an endless pulsing wave rolling back and forth, blocking out all other sounds around me. My heart beat was strong, albeit a little too loud and unnecessarily quick at the moment.

I scooped the phone off of the floor, my knees buckling as I flipped it over in my hands. Pain ricocheted through my legs as I hit the hardwood on impact, all strength leaving me as I collapsed to the ground. The screen glowed brightly in the dusky darkness of the room. Her background was a picture of me holding Nate, taken the day we had brought him home from the hospital. I became so immersed in the image that I lost all train of thought, feeling the numbness seep in as I stared at the screen, lost to everything else.

A single tear splashing against the glass shook me from my daze. I hurriedly swiped them away from my cheeks and dried the screen against my shirt. I could not show weakness, not now. That little boy needed me and I needed to do whatever necessary to keep him safe and keep us together.

I opened her contacts, fighting the angry flames of betrayal and the bile that rose in my throat as I scrolled past the many disgusting and perverse nicknames in her list of clients and otherwise. If the beer bellied swine on the police department in this godforsaken podunk town really cared about the drugs and the prostitution rings that resulted, confiscating her phone would be on the top of their list of priorities. They could take them all down in one fell swoop. But, of course, it would take an IQ higher than fifty or actually giving a damn about your job to begin with for that to happen so I knew better.

This town was just like all the rest. The police department was long ago bought and paid for by the highest bidder. All paid to look here, not there and don’t do anything to rock the boat. She was just another useless face, a snag in their otherwise picture perfect days. That arrogant prick in the living room would end his day most likely climbing on top of a woman just like her, hooked on the high the drugs promised and willing to sell anything and everything, including herself, to get that next fix.

I cursed as I scrolled, struggling to find the name I needed. Why couldn’t she have just been normal? That’s all I ever wanted. No riches, no luxuries. Just some semblance of normal in our lives. Thinking I could possibly go with “Paycheck”, I scrolled on further, just in case. Coming across “Sperm Donor”, I’m thankful that I did but scoff at her audacity and the pedestal she propped herself upon to think she was any better of a parent that he was in the short time I knew him. If he was “Sperm Donor” she was little more than “Birth Giver”.

I was the one that took care of that little boy since the moment he entered this world, making sure he was fed, clothed and bathed. Walking the floors with him when he was a colicky newborn. Making sure he was at every appointment he needed, including dragging her to the ones that ensured he had formula and everything else a baby needed to survive. Shoving cup after cup of thick, black coffee down her throat to sober her up enough to fake our way through whatever ring of fire the government agencies made us jump through to get the handouts and giveaways. All so Nate could be a happy little boy and never know the pain and heartache I have had to face.

Not that any of that would matter if I couldn’t manage to pull one more miracle out of thin air. The last sixteen months will be for nothing if he won’t take us in and play along. With that in mind, I stabbed at the contact number with a forceful finger and with baited breath and a still shaky hand, brought the phone up to my ear.

After just two rings, he answers.

“Dammit, Janet. I am not doing this with you today! I’m at work and I don’t have any more damn money to send you!”

“Janet’s dead,” is all I manage to croak out before my lower lip wobbles and the dam breaks.

After the longest pause, I hear him take a deep breath and roughly exhale again. “Rory?”

“Yeah.” I clench my eyes tightly shut, trying to stop the tears.

“Where are you?”

I told him where we were staying and heard him curse again. “That’s five hours away. It’ll be dark by the time I get there.”

“Okay, but you are coming, right?”

“Yeah, I’m coming. That’s my kid.”

“There’s one more thing, Phillip.”

“What’s that Aurora?”

“I told them you are my dad, too.”

Silence. Complete silence to the point that I pull the phone away just to make sure we have not been disconnected. He’s still there but he says nothing for what seems like forever.

“Fine. I’ll deal with it when I get there. Anything else I might need to know?”

“No.”

“Be packed and ready to leave. I have work in the morning.”