Just one for today. I didn't want to split up the chapters I have planned for tomorrow and I don't quite have them ready yet so I wanted to launch this one now so there is an update today and to set up tomorrow's update.
I opened up to Vanessa while we were driving more details about my mother that I hadn't shared with her yet and her relationship with men and how that affected my view of sex and relationships. I also explained that I had always known that unless my choice was taken away, I would only ever give myself to someone I totally trusted, was completely in love with and that I knew loved me unconditionally, too. I told her that I thought I had that with Owen and I even told her what he did on my birthday just as we had pulled in the driveway at the house.“Shut up! Seriously! Aurora, honey. That should tell you how much he loves you. You are only like his second serious relationship. His relationship with Chloe was only serious because he was forced into it and she was serious about him, not the other way around. He never even talked about her and when he did, it wasn’t with that goofy, far away, puppy dog eyed look that he has anytime someone mentions your name. And, that someone is usually
“Honey, you have to make her walk away. She’s an unhinged bully but she was always scared of pulling any of that crap in front of me. She knows who the Alpha Female is around here and it’s not her and never will be.”“I wish I had your confidence, your fight, Vanessa. I get too emotional.”“No, your problem is that you have low self-esteem and want to think the worst about yourself. Aurora, once and for all, say this to yourself. ‘I am not my mother and I will not be blamed for her choices’ and stick to it! You are an amazing woman! Do things on your own terms and tell everyone else to go screw themselves!”“I’ve been trying to tell her that for years.” I didn’t hear Barb come up behind me but as she said that, she patted me on the back. I looked up at Barb as she asked, “Are you okay? Not trying to eavesdrop but I am hoping this conversation is about what happened earlier and is getting straightened out.”“It is and yes, thank you, Barb. I am feeling a lot better.”“If you are close
I hurried out of the back, wondering which girl Barb was referring to. Sitting in the same booth I had just cleaned was Vanessa. She gave me a sympathetic smile as I came out, one I couldn’t return and I felt myself getting emotional again.I slowly walked over. “What can I get you?”“Nothing. I’m not here to eat or drink. Can we talk?”“Did he send you?” I couldn’t even say his name.“No, not really. I came because I wanted to but he does know I am here. You deserve an explanation and right now, I don’t think any of that needs to come from him. He hurt you too bad.”I slid into the booth seat across from her with a sigh, my lips held tight and thin. “You’re right, he did.”“This has all been a huge misunderstanding, Aurora. Owen loves you.”I scoffed as she said this, the tears building up. I grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and wiped them before they could flow.“How is it a misunderstanding, Vanessa? I have the video, I saw it all. It came from his phone! How can that be a misun
I looked over at Barb and she gave me a look that said I could do whatever I wanted to.“Okay, for just a minute but if another diner comes in, I’m getting up and going back to work.”“Fair enough.”“Sorry I ruined your cheeseburger.” I apologized and for some reason, just saying that made me want to cry again so I quickly looked away.“Aurora, you didn’t ruin this cheeseburger. It’s still delicious. It’s just a little harder to eat seeing how upset you were. Want to talk about it?”I shook my head, still looking out the window. I sighed. “Maybe after I have had time to process it myself but not now.”“Want me to go beat the hell out of him?”That caused a hint of a smile as I looked back over at Kyle and cocked my eyebrow.“You don’t think I can, huh? Why do you think he hates me so much? I’ve already kicked his ass twice before when we were younger and he knows I can do it again.”“You beat him up before? Why?”“Cause I wanted to. I didn’t like his face and I can’t even really remem
First: “I should have realized we weren’t good for each other. I deserve someone better than you and you can stay in the slums where you belong.” My heart lurched and it felt was if I had just been hit head on by a truck. Those same words, or almost identical, to what he said to Gary that morning as we were leaving English class on that first day of school. A gut-wrenching sob tore from my gut but I quickly capped my hand over my mouth to stop the noise as I slunk down into the seat. Second: “Seeing her again just made me see that you are nothing compared to her.” All of my self-doubts came rushing back in full force. He had seen me naked, he had touched me and he was now comparing us. I didn’t measure up and was not what he wanted afterall. He was only being nice because it was my birthday and he didn’t want to make a mockery of me. Third: “Hope you enjoy this video and imagine what I am doing with her right now.”The only thing left was the video. I knew I would not want to see
Aurora POVMy mind was so overstimulated that it was like my body was on auto pilot as I walked into the diner and dumped my backpack in the break room. I grabbed my apron off of the hook and tied it on. I tried to tell myself that I was being ridiculous and just overly emotional. I left Nate with Phil every single evening when I came to work. I just had to think of this as no different from that.Yes, I was not going to be seeing him as much as I had in the past but I just had to reason with myself that is what is supposed to happen, now that I am an adult. I am the sister, not his mother. Regardless of how well I have filled that mother role, doing everything in my power so that he never realized that was even missing from his life, it was not my role. I was just the substitute for the one we buried four years ago.Now, I could step back into the role of big sister. I could enjoy the time I spend with him as big sister and make the most of my time away from him establishing myself a