Chapter Five: Second Thoughts - Jennifer

The rest of the evening continues to be tense. I’ve been sitting in the living room while Landry busies himself with dinner, but the whole time I go over and over in my head what his dad said. Why does he think I’d ruin Landry’s life? Is it because I’m weaker? I know I’m much weaker than other Omegas because of the complications during my premature birth, but no one - okay, most people in the pack - ever made me feel different or less than. They even love to call me the pack’s miracle pup, which I think is silly. My mum agrees with the pack though, but that’s only natural.

Ever since Landry and I rebuilt our bond, I’ve never regretted it, and I still don’t, but I can’t help but wonder if completing our bond is now going to cause problems with his dad. Maybe marking each other wasn’t the right thing to do.

'How can you even think that?' Beatrix whimpers.

'I don’t want to be the reason Landry loses his dad. He’s already lost his mum, and I can’t imagine my life without mum and dad. I don’t want that for him,' I sulk.

'The only thing ruining their relationship is his stupid father. Landry has every right to be with his soulmate and we have every right to be with him. I don’t know what crawled up that man’s ass, but it is not your fault. If Landry hadn’t come to his senses and fought to win us back he’d be back in his old pack dealing with his father’s crap. Do you want that?' She asks.

I shake my head adamantly, 'No, I don’t want that.'

'Then don’t think such silly things. Landry is happy with us. This is his home, and we need to remind him that this is where he belongs and not let him feel like an outsider. We wouldn’t have even had a rocky start if not for his dirtbag dad,' she snarls.

'I wonder what his issue is with Omegas. There has to be a deeper reason for hating us apart from just thinking we’re a weaker breed.'

'I don’t know, and I don’t care. That’s for him and a therapist to figure out,' she says with a firm nod.

'I don’t see him making an appointment any time soon.'

“Dinner is ready,” Landry gently announces.

I look over and see the deep concern all over his face and I wonder how much of our conversation he’s heard. With a guilty conscience, I get up from the sofa, sit at the cosy kitchen table and look down at the mouthwatering bowl of butter chicken and jasmine rice. The heavenly aromas fill the little cottage while the chicken looks super juicy. I was so lost in my thoughts my nose didn’t even notice the delicious smells. Now I feel worse. He put in all this effort, and I couldn’t even appreciate it.

“Thank you for making dinner,” I say as I smile over at him as he sits beside me, “I really do love your cooking.”

He gives me a half-hearted smile as he picks up his fork, “At least I can do something right.”

His words break my heart and have Beatrix whimpering, and I can feel Matthan reaching out to comfort her. I reach out and place my hand on Landry’s and take comfort in the electricity brought by our touch.

“You do a lot of things right, more than just cooking yummy, food,” I say sweetly.

“Do you ever think your life would be better without me?” He asks sadly, and immediately I feel tears prick my eyes.

I shake my head furiously, “Never. I’m happier with you in my life, I don’t ever want to picture my life without you ever again,” I say as I clasp his hand tightly between both of mine.

“You didn’t deserve how my dad treated you,” he says shamefully.

“Those were his words, not yours. You’re not responsible for his actions. Please don’t blame yourself. Alpha sent him away, and now we get to enjoy dinner,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

“I love you, Pixie. I hate myself every day for hurting you, but I never want to hurt you again and I don’t want my dad to hurt you either. I don’t want to bring trouble into your life,” he says, closing his eyes tightly as I feel the turmoil swirl around inside him.

I’m up out of my seat and into his lap in a flash, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tightly breathing in his roasted coconut scent.

“I love you so much, my Snuggle Wolf,” I say as I nuzzle his neck and place a soft kiss on my mark taking pride of place at the junction of his neck. The iridescent shift of Beatrix’s paw print residing on his flesh reminds me that we are united now and forever. I feel him shiver under my touch and relax just a fraction, so I gently brush my lips against the mark in a loving gesture. “We can handle anything if we face it together. I believe that. We were brought together for a reason, and I don’t know what that reason is, but what I do know is that we make each other happy. What could be wrong with two people making each other happy?” I ask, pulling back to look in his teal eyes now glassy with unshed tears. I place featherlight kisses on his eyelids and feel his arms tighten around me.

“I would be lost without you. I never felt more lost than the day I hurt us both, but I have felt at home every minute since you let me into your heart. Thank you, for trusting me with something so precious,” he says with love and sincerity as he places his hand over my heart.

I hold his hand in place and smile at the boy the Gods gifted to me. He’s not perfect, but neither am I, but I believe we bring out the best in each other. Beatrix was right. I was silly to think our bond and our love could ever be a bad thing. We’re building a home and a life together, but we’re doing it together. I feel how safe and happy he feels here, and it warms my heart. I don’t want him to ever be somewhere he doesn’t feel loved.

I lean in and place my lips on his and smile when I hear his contented moan as he tightens his arms around me and kisses me back deeper, his lips moulding to the shape of mine. He peppers light kisses on the sides of my mouth and a final one on my nose making me giggle, and finally, I feel the warmth return to him.

“I could listen to you giggle for the rest of my life,” he says dreamily.

“That could be arranged,” I grin and kiss his nose in return, “Now let’s eat, the yummy dinner you made is getting cold.”

I go to get up from his lap, but he holds me firmly in place. He reaches over and slides my bowl closer, grabbing my spoon and scooping up a mixture of rice, chicken, onion, and butter chicken sauce and holds it to my mouth. With a wide smile, I devour the spoonful and let out a delighted hum as all the spices dance on my tongue. My legs swing back and forth as I open my mouth for another spoonful.

Landry chuckles, but gladly scoops another spoon of my dinner and feeds it to me. The soft and juicy onion adds a sweetness to the spice that makes my tummy happy.

“Maybe I should feed you all your meals,” he teases, kissing my cheek.

I shake my head, “I can feed myself. I just also like it when you do it,” I smile at him.

“I like it too,” he says happily.

I reach out for his spoon, gather up some ingredients, hold it to his mouth and watch happily as he takes the spoonful of food and chomps it down. Our doubts and insecurities melt away as we continue to feed each other dinner, and all I can think is that I can’t wait to have more evenings like this for the rest of our lives. We had a rough start - painful even - but it didn’t break us. If anything, it made us appreciate each other more and realise we had something worth fighting for. I think our rough start will make us stronger and give us the courage to face any future obstacles. We’re still young and have a lot to learn, but we’ll help each other along the way. After all, that’s what soulmates are for.