Lahat ng Kabanata ng When the f---ing world ends: Kabanata 21 - Kabanata 30

Kirsten's POV Hindi ko alam kung ilang buntong hininga na ang nagawa ko matapos ang halos limang minutong katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa ni Jenny.We are currently sitting on the sand while watching the four idiots playing with water.Tinupi ko ang aking tuhod saka niyakap ang mga iyon. I hit my forehead internally nang makita kong tumakbo yung apat na lalaki patungo sa may buhanginan pagkatapos ay naghukay sila gamit ang kanilang mga kamay. They made Matthew lay on the hole they dug then cover his body with sand as if burying him.Tumayo pa si Bernard sa gitna habang ang mga kamay ay nakataas sa kalangitan at nakapikit. He's saying something that we can't really hear from our place. Iyong dalawang natira naman ay iniiyakan si Matthew na ramdam na ramdam ang role niya bilang patay na tao.Nagsisisi na talaga akong sumama ako sa outing na 'to-- Come to think of

Trigger warning: Mention of someone's death, s*icide.If you are not comfortable in this kind of topics, then please don't force yourself to read this :)Consider yourself warned...KIRSTEN'S POVI gently open my eyes as soon as I feel the warmth of the sun that shines on my face.I blinked. I had that same dream again-- Actually, it was more like a nightmare than a dream. A nightmare that continuously hunting me. A nightmare that continuously reminds me to stay on my place.Naroon na naman ako sa pinakamalalim at madilim na parte ng dagat. Sa panaginip ko, naririnig ko ang paulit-ulit na pagmamakaawa nina Mama at Sierra na huwag akong aalis.I cried. Not because I'm scared but because I am guilty. I am torn between living in the past and moving on. I am a step closer to th

TW: Sexual abuse/harassment.I tried my very best to give justice for the story. I know that this is a very sensitive topic and if you are not comfortable with it, I suggest that you should skip this part ಥ‿ಥKIRSTEN'S POVHindi ko napigilang mapahikbi nang matapos sabihin iyon. This is the first time that I told someone about this kasi ayaw kong balikan. Kahit sa mga magulang ko ay tikom ang labi ko."T-The fisherman and I survived. There was only two life vest in that boat and Sierra gave the other one to me." Tumingala ako saka marahas na pinunasan ang luhang tumutulo mula sa mga mata ko. "I can't bring myself to tell anyone about this, not even my parents. A-Alam ko, r-ramdam ko na... R-ramdam ko na somehow, sinisisi nila ako sa nangyari. Especially si Papa. I honestly want him to punish me, scold me, beat me up or something but instead, he gave me a cold shoulder.""Like I did not exist in his life. Only Sierra matter. But it's fine, matagal k

KIRSTEN'S POVPinilit kong ihakbang ang mga paa ko nang mabasa ko ang pangalan ni Mama kung saan siya nakahimlay. Hawak ko ang dalawang lupon ng puting rosas, isa para sa kaniya at isa para kay Sierra.Nanginig ang aking labi ng sinubukan kong ngumiti.Ngayon lang ako nakadalaw rito dahil wala akong lakas ng loob na makipagtitigan sa pangalan nilang nakaukit sa puting lapida."Hi," panimula ko pagkatapos ay marahan akong humagikhik. "I'm sorry kung ngayon ko lang kayo nabisita dito. I am ashamed and also afraid to face you. Ashamed because I know that I am the reason why you both are lying in here and afraid because I-I might break again. Hindi ko alam kung naririnig niyo ba ako but I bought a rose for you both. I know how much you love this."Lumuhod ako saka inalis ang mga natirang alikabok sa lapida nila. I almost cried when I touched the cold stone wher

Kirsten's POVI used to be afraid of changes. Changes bring either joy or pain in our life. In my case, sa lahat ng pagbabagong dumating sa buhay ko, mas lamang ang sakit kaysa saya.But changes are the only permanent thing in the world and it is inevitable. Sa ayaw man natin o sa hindi, time will fly. Feelings will fade. New things will eventually rot. People leave and people will come into your life to either bring pain or make your life significant.Iminulat ang mga mata ko matapos ang mahabang pagtulog. Nakaguhit ang isang ngiti sa mga labi ko at kagaya nitong mga nakaraang araw, magaan na ang pakiramdam ko.When Jenny saw me the first time after a long vacation week, she told me that something has changed pero hindi niya ma-pinpoint kung ano iyon. Nginisian ko lang siya at hindi sumagot pero sa lahat ng pagbabagong dumating sa buhay ko, ito ang pinakapaborito ko.