It has been hours since Karina's scent left me but I'm still on the floor, stuck at the same moment when she told me everything. Apparently, the Asturias killed her family, we had a son, and Elizabeth killed our little Errol and then my mother let her go. That was pure evil perpetuated by the people in my circle. They are my friends and my family, the people I've cared about. It was unacceptable to think that the people who caused this to Karina is the people I dine and I do business with.Killing innocent people is just plain evil. The killing of my son and my wife's family by my own friends is just wicked. It's immoral. It's horrible. It's making all my insides churn in disgust and abhorrence.And it happened to my wife while she's all by herself. Alone, scared, and with no one she can rely on. I can't imagine how that must have felt. While I was spending my years hating her, she endured her life living through the traumatic experience and nurturing our child and then having to go

I took a lot of air before I entered the mausoleum inside the private cemetery of the Alcantaras. My hand is full of flowers, of all sorts of chocolates, and toys for my son.My son. My dead son.The word brings so much pain in my heart.Pagpasok ko ay agad na bumati sa akin ang mga nakangiting mukha ni Errol na nasa mga dambuhalang frames na nakakabit sa bawat sulok. It felt like I'm looking at my childhood photos. It's his picture during his baptismal, his first birthday, and when he was I think a few days old. He's so small there... so fragile and so tiny.I stood there in the middle too overwhelmed by the feeling of love, sadness, and regret. Nanginig ang mga kamay ko at nabitawan ang mga hawak. Para ring nawalan ng lakas ang mga tuhod ko. Huminga ako nang malalim at isa-isang pinulot ang mga nasa sahig at inialay sa paanan ng altar kung saan naghihintay ang nakangiting mukha ni Errol. Umapaw na sa dami kaya inilapag ko na lang sa baba ang mga natitirang laruan at pagkain.With

Para kay Cholo Gastrell,Walang kasiguraduhan kung mapapasakamay o mababasa mo pa ito Cholo pero nagbabakasakali lang ako tutal ito na ang huling bagay na makukuha mo mula sa akin.Pasensiya ka na dahil hindi ako nakapagpaalam sa iyo. Please 'wag mong isipin na iniwan kita. Oo, aaminin ko na pinag-isipan ko noong una pero binawi ko agad kasi hindi ko pala kayang iwan ka. Naipit lang ako. Wala akong magawa. Isang hamak na babae lang ako. Kayang-kaya nila akong tirisin, hamakin, at pahirapan.Siguro may ideya ka na na may damdamin na ako para sa iyo. Alam ko naman kasing hindi ako magaling magtago ng nararamdaman ko. Minahal kita, Cholo. Sana maniwala ka at tanggapin ang pag-ibig ko kahit isang segundo lang. Wala man akong ibang pwedeng pagkomparahan ng damdamin ko pero alam ko sa sarili ko na mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kahit tuluyan mo na akong inabandona, kahit hindi mo ako pinagkaabalahan pang bigyan ng isang sulyap na para bang ang isang tulad ko ay hindi karapat-dapat na makausap ka