His Soul & His Shame のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 1 - チャプター 10

I woke up feeling so much worse than when I went to sleep. I dreaded today because I know Ezra will come straight from her to me and try to make me understand his reasons.  Maybe before I would have understood his reasons but now they were just absurd to me.  I just want to move on from him and his thoughts, it's time I move on from my crazy one-sided love and make something for myself. I brushed my teeth and took a bath, I picked myself skinny jeans and a hoodie because the weather is cold today.  I am in university and I love to cook and I want to start my restaurant someday. Ezra being the only son of Irwin multinational corporations he inherited his dad's company and all and he started going to th

"Purple Pizzeria" is the place we always come to because it feels like home and they sell the best pizza you can ask for. The theme of the pizzeria is purple and the employee's uniform is also purple. Purple is the last color in the Rainbow and but it looks so good and some say the color has a special meaning. I waited in my seat for Ezra to open my door, I am not particular about that but Ezra always insists that I wait for him to open my door, and now I don't want to piss him off more. We all came out of the car and entered the pizzeria at once. I stood at the entrance looking for seats, trying to get us the best seats to enjoy our pizzas. "Come, let's go, I have found the place," Ezra said, taking my hand and guiding me to the backside of the place. 

EZRA'S POV: (##Contains Mature Content##)18+I feel so guilty right now, I was supposed to be with Fay right now making up for the last two weeks which I lost because of my behavior but still, I am on my way to Mitch's house. What is wrong with me, why I am so addicted to her and can't get enough of her. If I try I can resist Mitch but I don't want to. If I start resisting other girls then I will start to crave the only girl I don't want to hurt or ruin with my stupidity and toxicity.Fay is everything for me and it's my responsibility to keep her from bad people and bad things and I am one of them. I may look like a simple guy who runs a multimillion company but I am into so many dangerous things and I need to keep her from those things and myself too.I was supposed to be with Fay watching a movie and having dinner together but when she ran into my arms and her body perfectly fit with my body, I lost control and buried my face in her neck inhaling her rosy scent which I love. I

I and Joanna sat in awe inside the lavish limousine with big eyes and mouth agape because of its smell and richness. We took two glasses of champagne which tasted sweet and bitter. I hesitantly took the glass when Joanna poured it for me. I don't know if we are supposed to touch anything. “I think one glass is enough Joanna and I don't think we can finish the entire bottle from someone’s car without their permission,” I said, putting my glass aside.“ Why are you so bored? Fay this is not someone’s car and this is not a car but a freaking limousine so we have to have champagne.” she gulped the entire contents of her glass before going for some more.“I think that is enough joanna for now and we have to be on our best behavior so we can't embarrass Ezra in front of everyone.'' I gave her a look saying it's final.“Okay mom whatever you say.” she mocked me before sulking and pouting. She sometimes behaves like a child and she looks so funny. We sat in silence until we reached the place

I know this is stupid but I still waited for him, my doom. Yes, he is my doom because nothing gets to my head when it comes to Ezra. I don't know when he became my life or a reason to breathe but he became everything to me. Some may say it is insanity to think like this or some may think that I am obsessed with Ezra but I don't heed to those words or thinking. I changed my clothes into PJs and hid that dress and chain at the last corner of my wardrobe so I can not see it and get reminded of my humiliation. I am not crying for him, no I am not that weak to very for someone. I am much stronger than that. I lay on my bed thinking about today's event and how they were both looking like a happy couple and how I didn't see an ounce of guilt on Ezra's face when he kissed me. Ugh, that Damn kiss! I am trying to push that thought from my head but I am unable to do that. Why did God choose every single bad thing and bad luck for me? I received a text from Joanna that she has reached home s