We leave the police station and head home. I'm a free woman. I've only been around Officer Barnes twice in my life. He seems to be a decent man. The world has two types of men, decent and asshole. There's no in-between. Collin is decent, Mr. Henry, my art teacher, is decent, and Officer Barnes is decent. The world needs more men like them.How the hell am I going to tell Selah I got beat up by Chad and taken to a police station? And what about Collin?The car ride home is silent. My family doesn't know how to react to my unpredictability anymore. I can't blame them. One minute I'm hospitalized; the next, I'm a victim in a police station.I watch the electrical wires as we drive past. They go up and down. That's my life. I'm up. I'm down. My life current still flows within me. The car comes to a stop in the driveway.My whole family sits in the car in a never-ending silence. My dad pulls back the curtain of quiet."Natalie, a decision has been made on your behalf," dad announces."What

I still haven't told Selah about my life. I've been so distant. She knows Chad wanted me to steal his family's heirloom, but that's it. I call Selah and confess about Chad beating me up. I confess about my move to Aunt Tara's house. I discuss my enrollment into an eating disorder recovery program."That's a lot," Selah says."I know," I reply."What are you going to do about Italy?" She asks."I'm going. My Aunt Tara is coming. It's the only way the recovery program will let me go," I say."I see. Well, I am so damn excited. We can make out with European hotties," Selah says."I can't," I say."Oh, sure you can. It will be like the time you made out with Joey Vanderburgh behind Chad's back," she says."I CAN'T," I say."Yes, you can. What's wrong with you?" She asks."Collin's different," I reply."Look, I like you with Collin. I really do. But it's Europe, and they are fucking hot. I'm sure he'd understand," she begs."No, Selah. I'm not cheating on Collin," I say angrily."Why not?"

Two weeks have gone by since the Chad incident. I don't talk about it. I think about it. Relive it. Remember it. I bite myself. I purge. I want to stop purging.Aunt Tara is concerned. I don't blame her. I'm not me. Aunt Tara has delayed the start of my eating disorder recovery program. School is over. Aunt Tara got me out of homework. I only had to attend class. I didn't have to do finals.My parents cried when they found out. They came together again for another Natalie Ashman drama.Sammy cried. She hugged me. We had a girl's night and ate chocolate. It helped her feel better. It didn't help me.I haven't told Selah. I like having someone think I'm not tainted. I haven't called Collin. He understands I need my space.The eating disorder recovery program will begin after my trip to Italy. We are still going. My Aunt Tara explained my situation. She still has guardianship of me.She's traded bedrooms with me. I can't stay in my old room and see the spot where the great incident took

Italy is two days away. I never thought I'd make it to Europe. Europe was for those other people. Those rich people, I wasn't lucky enough to be.Aunt Tara has paid for me to go. Collin's family is rich by nature. The Abernathy's own three taverns in town and a hotel. Not sure what their income is, better than most, I'm sure.The Abernathy's have an apartment above the tavern I go to. They also have a house. It's the house Collin took me to to roast s'mores. He really is out of my league.I'm glad I don't have to worry about school and homework. Thank God, it's summer. I can focus on the brightness of the sunshine—the freedom its warmth brings to earth.I don't have to worry about the Penna Bakery. Thank heaven, I don't have to work over the summer.I'm not looking forward to therapy. Not only do I need therapy for my eating disorders, but now I have to get cleansed from the great incident. Chad damaged me, and adults want to fix me with their useless chatter.Not enough therapy in th

"Chad assaulted you?" Selah repeats.I can't believe my best friend had to find out like this."Selah...I didn't want to tell you like this," I say.I want to cry. I want to fall into a hole. Is it possible to disappear or die of embarrassment? Quite sure it is."Why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend. Where the hell was I? All this bad shit keeps happening to you. Do you not like me anymore? First, you don't tell me about Collin. Then I find out you're dating. Then I'm the last to hear about your cave incident with Chad. And now you've been assaulted. Are you fucking kidding me? Why don't you like me anymore, Natalie? Why don't you want to tell me about your life anymore? Do you hate me this much? Does Collin know?" Selah asks."I was there," Collin says."You were there. What the fuck? And you let it happen? Go fucking figure," Selah says angrily."That's not how it happened. My aunt left her house, and Chad broke in. Chad took advantage of the situation. I was lucky Collin sh