Semua Bab Blue Ribbon: Bab 11 - Bab 20

Lilly's POVThere is seriously something wrong with me.I am sure.A couple of months ago, on my birthday, I kissed Chase. I was drunk and reckless. I just did it for the heck of it.Never did it cross my mind that it will take me here. I kissed him and everything in my life turned upside down. I kissed him and caught feelings. Feelings so good and so very bad at the same time. Since that night, I've been going through the biggest longest hangover ever.The thought of him doesn't leave me be. He is everything I can think about. He is everywhere. It's weird. It's exciting. It's annoying. I mean, I have homework, exams, and friends that I need to give some of my time and attention to. Instead, with every passing second, I just find myself ignoring everything and filling my head with him and only him. His smile, his lips, and his beautiful, panty-dropping eyes.I am not eating. I am not sleeping. I can't concentrate on the simplest of tasks. I don't want to do anything. I just want to fi

Chase's POV"So Chase, my neighbor has this girl and she is so pre-""Oh no, no, no way," Conner interjected, shaking his head as he pointed at me, "This one over here is taken." He added as my grandpa for some reason decided to set me up with his neighbor's granddaughter."Set me up, I am the single one over here." He added in annoyance before he seated himself beside my grandpa, way too interested in this conversation."Taken?" Grandpa's eyebrows pulled together as his confused gaze flickered from Conner to me, "When? With whom? And why wasn't I informed about this?"I wanted to facepalm. Freaking Conner. I am really starting to contemplate the idea of having him stay with me."With Lilly," Conner answered on my behalf ever so casually, "You know her, right?" He said then waved his hand in the air, "Anyways, anyways, back to your neighbor's granddaughter, how is she like? Is she hot?"A smile lit up grandpa's face, "Oh, Lilly, yeah, I always liked that girl.""Which girl?" Melanie a

At the night of the party...Chase's POVI walked out into the dark cold night. Air heaved in and out of my lungs, jagged and coarse. A growl rumbled at the base of my throat. I hated every fucking miserable second of this day.All I wanted was to walk back inside and pull him away from her and let all of my rage explode into his face. I didn't care if I'd make a scene, I didn't care that he is my cousin and friend. All I wanted is a release to the anger flaming inside my chest.But I stopped myself and pressed my palm over the car's window. Unable to open it and go, and unable to stay.The cold January air didn't affect me at all. It felt like I was burning up from the inside out.And soon, all will be left would be ashes.Guess that's what happens when you play with fire.I burned.I gambled and lost.I knew it was a risk, she was a risk, but I took it. I thought she'd be worth it.I unbuttoned the first few buttons of my shirt and rubbed at my chest, trying to blunt the ache inside

One month later...Lilly's POVOne month has passed since that day.The day I had my heart broken for the first time. The day I lost someone so dear to me, and the day I cried my eyes out for the last time.I didn't shed a single tear after that day. I didn't give myself the chance to break down. I gathered myself and moved on, lived each day, one at a time.Everyone tells me that I've changed. Even my parents have noticed it. I focused only on my exams and classes. I started preparing for university, searching for the suitable options and checking every oppurtunity presented. True, more than a whole year still seperates me from that part of my life, but I want to be ready, I want to have the next years of my life all planned out.I haven't talked with Chase at all after that day. I haven't stepped into their house, I always made excuses so I wouldn't accompany my parents. He never came back to our place either, I am beyond grateful for that.We no longer hang out, neither at school n

Lilly's POVA tangle of emotions surged through me. Mainly it was pain and guilt, but simmering beneath all of that was something that felt achingly...good.I still refused to acknowledge it.My heart sped as the feelings I've kept down all these days clawed through my veins and pounded in my ears. His words punching their way through as I tried to drink in the feedback of everything that is being said.I shook my head, "No," I shook it again, unable to accept the whole situation, "No, no, you don't get to say that now, no, you can't!" My voice raised in bewilderment, "You can't come now and throw that past in my face, you don't get to make me feel guilty, you don't!""You don't get to make me wonder what could've been if I wasn't so damn blind!" I really was so clueless, mistaking every move he ever did, every action and every word as a gesture of us being just friends, family...That's all I ever thought we were, two very different people that grew up by each other's side, that torme