Marcus' pov Wednesday 25th December 2019****************************************It's finally Christmas morning and Cole is bouncing off the walls. I woke up with Nathan cuddling into my side and Cole jumping on the spot telling me it's Christmas. "Okay I'm up," I groan as I detach myself from a sleepy Nathan as he yawns. I look at the alarm clock and scowl when it says 5:30am. "Cole what the hell? It's way too early," Nathan says as he lays back down. "Come on it's Christmas! It doesn't matter how early we get up! You can have a nap after dinner," he says and I sigh, nudging Nathan and getting up. I walk to the attached bathroom and close the door as I have a piss. I can hear Nathan grumbling through the door as Cole annoys him. When I'm finished, I wash my hands and brush my teeth with the electric toothbrush Cole bought me when I found using a manual toothbrush too difficult. At least with with one I just have to hold it up and move it across my teeth and it does all the work.

Marcus' pov Monday 6th January 2020**********************************Damian is finally back. He bought a house near my club and is selling his club to his second in command. It's so nice to see him in person again. I hugged him when he came over yesterday, I wouldn't let go of him which I don't think he minded. He's taking over from Andrew soon as Lacey hasn't finished her Master Dom training and Andrew wants to focus more on his work. I wasn't so sure about him being back into the lifestyle as early as he was but he's been thriving. He says it's helped him heal by taking back control as a dominant. I wish I could say the same. My masturbation disaster happened again. The day before Damian came back, Orion suggested I try to make myself hard again. It didn't work. I didn't throw up but I couldn't get hard and my body felt horrible. I'm just about to go in now and talk to Orion for today's session. Damian also has to come and see Orion but he's coming tomorrow which he's not happy

Marcus' pov Thursday 23rd January 2020***********************************I'm glad Damian is coming over today. He called this morning to say he'd come over and spend the day with me and Cole while Nathan is at work. Me and Cole are sat on the couch as we wait for him to arrive, me doing my hand excercises and Cole texting Lacey. "You're getting so good at that," Cole says as I do the exercise better than I have before. "Thank you, it's easier to direct my fingers where I want them to go and I can finally pick up a glass of water," I say proudly. The doorbell rings and Cole gets up to answer it. He comes in with Damian and I stand up to hug him. "Hey, how've you been?" He asks as I bury my head in his neck. "Good," I answer as I finally let go of him. "I brought Oreos," he says as he gives Cole a bag. "Thank you!" He cheers and hugs Damian quickly. "Nathan told me you've been kissing them, that's a huge step. I'm so proud of you," Damian says as we follow Cole to the kitchen

Marcus' povTuesday 4th February 2020*************************************"I'm ready to go to the club for a full night," I tell Damian firmly. He looks taken back and frowns at me. "I don't think that's a good idea," he tries but I interrupt him. "No. I'm ready for this. I can leave if I need to but I want to go and have a normal night with my boyfriends," I tell him with a stern face. He challenges me for a moment with a stare but he backs down when I glare."Fine, you can go. What do Cole and Nathan think about this?" "They are wary of it but they are coming with me. Cole gets to see his friends again and Nathan gets to see the show.""The show is a flogging scene. Do you think you can watch that?" "You can watch it can't you? I'll be fine," I say and he sighs. He gets off the couch where we have been chatting and picks his phone up ready to leave. "I trust that you know yourself best. But I'll be sat right beside you if you need me," he says and I thank him. He goes down to

Marcus' povTuesday 18th February 2020***********************************Today is the day. Maybe it's a huge mistake but I don't care. I have to do this before I chicken out. Orion told me not to. Cole told me not to. Nathan told me not to. Damian told me not to. Thomas told me not to. Lacey told me not to. Lucas told me not to. Andrew told me not to.But I'm still going.I'm still going to see Adrian in prison. Yes I know that sounds like a shit idea but I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. Not in a bad way either. I just keep thinking about what I'd say to him if I ever saw him again. Most of those scenarios include swearing and punching. I'm not scared he'll manipulate me like Orion says he will. I'm already past the thoughts of him owning me. I don't remember most of my time in the warehouse, it's mostly a blur. In my nightmares Adrian's face is blurry as I'm forgetting what he was like. I think it'll help me to see him in prison. According to Andrew the other pri