Semua Bab Behind A Smile : Bab 171 - Bab 180

Zynah had gone downstairs to get a bottle of water and just as she was about to go back to her room, her gaze met with that of Zaahida. She took in a deep breath and looked away. Initially, she had wanted to walk away, but when she saw her approaching, she changed her mind and also walked up to her, a shiver running down her spine. "Zaahida." She deadpanned. "What a surprise to see you here. I don't remember inviting you." Zaahida's eyes, once filled with hatred, now held a hint of guilt and remorse. "How have you been?" She inquired, fidgeting with her fingers. "I...heard about Bill...Bilal's death." Zynah's heart ached at Zaahida's words. She still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Bilal was indeed dead. Each time someone sent their condolences, it felt like reopening the wound, preventing it from healing. She didn't know if she'd ever get used to his absence. Each day brought a new wave of pain and loneliness. "Okay?" She raised a brow questionably, her voice flat. Deep dow

"Arrgggghhhhhh!" At the top of her voice, Zynah screamed, her body convulsing as she collapsed on the bed, drenched in sweat. The contractions, now relentless, struck every five minutes. Her breaths emerged in ragged pants and tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. She had been in labour for three long hours, yet the baby had obstinately refused to leave the comfort of her stomach. She had been pushing but her efforts were futile. Due to exhaustion, her eyes had already began to drop, when the contractions returned in gargantuan force. "Push!" One of the midwives yelled, her voice a sharp command that cut through the haze of pain. To Zynah, the voice of the midwife was obscure. It floated in the air and soon dissipated. With all of the strength she possessed, she heaved, her body bucking and straining. "You're almost there," the midwife encouraged, her voice a beacon of hope. "I can already see the head of your baby. You just have to put in more effort, okay?" Her w

"Yes," Zynah said, nodding. "Imagine pushing a baby out of that small hole, of course it'd be painful, but," her lips stretched into a smile. "At the end, the pain is all worth it, when you get to carry your baby in your arms. The pain felt, will automatically and miraculously vanish. It was the same feeling I felt when I held my baby in my arms and breastfed him. It made me recall the terrible mistake I made back then with Adnan, when I decided to cast him away," Tears prickled her eyes as she recalled how she had gazed at him with disgust and hate. She wished she could undo her mistakes. "Today, I wish Bilal was here with us. He would no doubt, be the happiest. It had always been his dream to hold his baby at birth. He didn't get to hold Adnan and right now, he isn't here to hold our other child." The tears she had been trying so hard to keep at bay, escaped and streamed down her cheeks. "I miss him, Ramlah," she confessed, pouring out her heart to her sister - a thing she seldom

Nazmeera's face lit up. "Really? His name is Bilal?" Zynah nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. "His name is Bilal," she confirmed. Ramlah hummed, her gaze fixed on her sister as if she wanted to say something to her but was holding back because Nazmeera was there. "It's a surprise," she finally spoke, her gaze still fixated on Zynah. "When did you decide to name him after his father?" Judging by Ramlah facial expression, Zynah knew she wasn't exactly pleased by her decision to make her baby after his late father, but it didn't matter to her. She had made her decision, and she'd stand by it. "Since I found out I was having a boy," Zynah replied. "I don't know what to say," Nazmeera said, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thank you so much, Zynah. This makes me feel less sad about, you know..." Zynah understood perfectly Nazmeera's emotions because she was feeling exactly the same. It felt like Bilal had returned through their son. It helped lessened the pain of loss. Nazmeera spent

Zynah sat down on her perfectly made bed and massaged her temples, with a hand. In all the years she had had to take care of her children alone, she had never gotten that angry at them for a mistake before, but today, inexplicably, she had lost her temper, and even threatened to hit Adnan. "Is this paranoia, like Ramlah said?" In an attempt to get rid of the thought from her head, she shook her head and picked up her phone from the nightstand and stared at her screensaver - a cherished photograph of Bilal and Adnan she had captured, while they were sleeping. It was certainly one of her favorite pictures of all time. Each time she was stressed out, a glance at the picture, was all it took for her to calm down. It made her feel her late husband's presence - as if he was assuring her that she wasn't alone. That he was with her in spirit. "Would things have been much easier with you here?" she whispered, her voice filled with longing. Years had passed, yet the void in her heart rema