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All Chapters of The Devil Who Claimed Me (M x M): Chapter 111 - Chapter 120

144 Chapters

CHAPTER 111

JULIANThe words taste like ash as they leave my mouth. For a moment, I consider taking them back but I tighten my resolve.This is what needs to be done. I’m doing the right thing.I might not have gone to the police but I’m not going to enter a relationship with a murderer.The silence lingers a bit longer this time after my words.When I finally chance a look at him, what I see on his face takes me by surprise.I expected him to react in a multitude of ways. Heck, I imagined multiple scenarios in my head last night before I fell asleep.Maybe he’ll be angry, maybe he’ll act betrayed, maybe he’ll throw things, maybe he’ll threaten to kill me.Or maybe he’ll do none of those things and just detach himself emotionally.But what I never expected him to do is smile.“The hell you are,” he says.His words almost make me choke on my own spit.“Excuse me?”He folds his arms again, the edges of his mouth ticking up.“So… I guess we’re at that stage of the plan, huh? Is it finally time for y

CHAPTER 112

JULIAN I narrow my eyes even as my heart flutters. It doesn’t matter what my dumb and traitorous heart feels. Thankfully, my brain is in charge now and it’s not as prone to making stupid decisions. “I can’t take accountability for something that isn’t my fault.” “Something that isn’t your fault?” he echoes in disbelief. “Let’s see here, you made the plan—” “I didn’t. Theo did.” My eyes widen as I realize what just came out of my mouth. I didn’t mean to throw Theo under the bus but I guess that’s what I just did. Nikolai doesn’t look surprised, which makes sense. If he truly heard everything that day just like he said he did, then he probably already knows. “Why?” “Why what?” I snap. I’m already tired of this back and forth. All I want to do is end this conversation, go back home and tell Theo it’s done, and then go back to my room, hugging my pillow while I feel sorry for myself. I just want to put this entire thing behind me. Is that too much to ask? “Why did you two tar

CHAPTER 113

JULIAN My heart stops, the question unexpectedly hitting me like a shot to the heart. He continues before I can speak, “Your whole life seems to revolve around him. It’s always Theo this, Theo that, whatever Theo wants. Have you ever done whatever you want? What makes you happy? Or do you not know what that is, either?” His words strike deep at a corner of my chest. My heart clenches and I bring a hand to my chest. He makes it sound so awful, like I don’t have a backbone. I’ve never really thought of it like that but is it really that bad? Do I really have no identity outside of Theo? It’s not true… right? A cold chill settles over me and I almost shiver. “If you think I’m so pathetic,” I say through clenched teeth, “then why are you still with me? Why haven’t you dumped me yet?” He sighs. “Because unfortunately for me, I find that side of you attractive. I like the fact that you’re selfless, that you’ll do anything for whoever you love.” He shakes his head, a look of disgu

CHAPTER 114

NIKOLAII stay rooted in the same spot long after Julian is gone.I can’t believe he just did that.I can’t believe he dumped me… and I let him go.I just watched him leave, without knowing whether he’ll come back or not.I start pacing, smoothing my hair back.Caleb is right. I’ve changed.The old me wouldn’t have allowed Julian to do what he just did.He toyed with my heart, with my emotions and I allowed him to get away with it.Without so much as a scratch or making him regret what he did.Yep. I’ve totally gone soft.Weak, a voice in my head says. You’ve gone weak.Shut up, I tell it back.Now is not the time. Especially when I have so much to deal with.I have to pacify Derek and I have to think about what to do with Julian.He can’t leave me that easily.I won’t allow it.The sound of my door opening pulls me from my thoughts.The smell of lavender fills the room.I sigh irritatedly. “When are you ever going to learn to knock?”Caleb chuckles as he shuts my door behind him. “We

CHAPTER 115

NIKOLAII grit my teeth as an ugly emotion fills me. I hate that it feels like fear.“You said—”“Answer the question.”A long silence fills the room as I hesitate.And then I say, “No.”It’s amazing how fast the answer comes. It’s automatic. I don’t have to think about it.I brace myself for Derek’s reaction, but he doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t even look offended.He just continues to watch me, his gaze inscrutable.“I’ve known you since you were fifteen,” he starts.I tense immediately. I already know where this is going.“I found you on the streets. You were alone, broken, directionless. You were running from the police after you killed your foster father. Do you remember?”“I do,” I say tightly.How could I forget? It’s only one of the most important aspects of my life.“I brought you home. I protected you. Gave you purpose. Made you strong.” He leans forward. “I made every problem in your life go away. Handled all the loose ends. Do you remember that?”I look away from him, sh

CHAPTER 116

JULIANBy the time I get home, I feel like I’m one second away from completely losing my mind.I’m exhausted, because I chose to walk all the way home rather than take a bus or a taxi, and my head throbs so badly it feels like someone has wedged an ice pick behind my eyes.I can’t stop replaying everything Nikolai said.“He exaggerated the whole thing.”“Theo and I were never as close as he made it out to be.”“He’s lying to you.”“Do you even know who you are outside of Theo?”I hate that the words are stuck inside my head.I hate even more that they refuse to leave even after I’ve spent the past hour trying to accomplish just that.It feels like my entire world has been flipped on its head in just one day.My whole existence feels like a lie. And I hate that I feel that way.I hate that a part of me is already judging Theo. Doubting him, questioning our relationship and whether everything I knew about him was a lie.Does he even love me half as much as I do?My stomach is in knots a

CHAPTER 117

JULIANTheo opens his mouth. Then closes it again.For the first time since I’ve known him, he actually looks shaken.“How?” he manages.“That day at the cafeteria. He followed us to the classroom and he heard everything.”His entire body stills and he looks stunned. Like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.He runs a shaky hand through his hair as he appears deep in thought.I open my mouth to speak but I close it just as quickly because, what am I supposed to say?Plus that’s not even the worst of it.To his credit, Theo recovers pretty quickly, seeming to shake off whatever reaction my words brought up in him.“Whatever,” he says, his tone dismissive. “It doesn’t matter if he knows or not. The plan worked anyway. He’s fallen in love with you and I’m sure he feels heartbroken and betrayed that you don’t share the same feelings. Everything can still proceed as planned.”I hate the words coming out of his mouth. How he’s discussing this like we’re talking about the weather. No e

CHAPTER 118

JULIAN “Get over it? Don’t owe me an explanation? For fuck’s sake, Theo, everything I did was because of you! I went along with this stupid plan, even though I didn’t want to, because it was what you wanted! Because you told me he hurt you.” His eyes flash. “This is pointless—” “You told me he almost drove you to suicide. That you were depressed because of him.” “And? That’s the truth.” I fold my arms. “That’s not enough. I never asked before but… I want details.” His eyes narrow. “Are you being serious right now? I’m not reliving one of the most traumatic aspects of my life just to prove that I’m not ‘lying.’” “Theo…” “I said no.” His voice comes out sharp. Almost defensive. “We’ve known each other since we’re children. If you choose to believe a total stranger over your best friend, that’s on you.” “Exactly! I’ve trusted you blindly for eight years, Theo, no questions asked. I even went out of my comfort zone, placed my morals aside, just to make you happy. Now, I’m asking

CHAPTER 119

JULIAN His breathing is uneven now. His eyes are almost wild. “I didn’t know how to achieve that. Because we all know he doesn’t get attached to anything or anyone.” He laughs darkly. “And then you came along. You were perfect. It was clear he was fascinated by you. I knew he’d fall eventually.” “So you… used me?” He pauses to stare at me for a moment. I don’t know what I was expecting. For him to deny it perhaps. To put an end to this nightmare. But he doesn’t. “If you’d like to put it that way then… yes,” he says simply. The words leave him so casually. Like they don’t hurt him to admit like they hurt me hearing them. Like the entire thing is obvious and I should have expected it. “I never thought…” My voice breaks. “I never thought you’d manipulate me like this.” “Manipulate? No, no, no.” He shakes his head. “You said you’d do anything for me. Wasn’t that what you promised me? I only tried to make the entire thing easier for you. So you wouldn’t feel guilty.” My face fe

CHAPTER 120

NIKOLAIOne of the worst things in the world is being forced to attend a class when you can barely pay attention and would rather do anything else.Like hitting your head against a tree. Or launching yourself into space.Thankfully, the lecture ends five minutes early.Professor Harris barely finishes dismissing us before half the class is already filing toward the door.I wait for the crowd to thin before gathering my things.Julian hasn’t responded to any of my texts. Not that I’m surprised. He’s angry. Confused. Heartbroken now that I’m sure he’s found out that his dearest ‘best friend’ lied to him.I expected him to ignore me but it bothers me nonetheless. It’s… irritating.I’m trying to give him space rather than force myself into his presence and trust me, it’s very hard.As I step into the hallway, the overlapping voices of students surrounding me, I debate if it’d be too soon to approach Julian.I’ve given him enough space, haven’t I?Maybe I should make a quick stop at the B

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