I Can't, If It's Not You

I Can't, If It's Not You

By:  Shreyasi Tambraparni  Completed
Language: English
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This is a story of two lovers who met in college and fell in love with each-other, but later life happened. Sirichai Thanawat (Siri) is the only heir to one of the leading electronic companies in Thailand. In his first year of college he is immediately smitten by 3rd year student Pairat Seatang (Pai) . The two eventually become lovers. However, after graduation as Sirichai starts working at Thanawat Enterprises, he is forced to marry another business tycoon’s daughter. Pairat pushes Siri to do what he must as well. The story begins here. I am horrible at summaries. Give this story a shot. It is angst and quiet a roller-coaster ride of emotions.

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29 chapters
Chapter 1
Pai sighed and turned back after he opened the door for his late-night visitor. Taking a few steps in he said, “You shouldn’t be here..” The visitor who had now entered the small apartment and closed the door behind him said, “Why Pai? Where else should I be?” Pai shook his head, moving to the small fridge to grab a bottle of water. He took a few gulps, hoping that the cold liquid passing through his throat will calm his throbbing heart. He avoided the visitor’s prying gaze, not wanting to acknowledge that the man was here tonight of all the nights. “You are married now.” The tall, tanned man who was wearing a fitted tuxedo that looked like it was worth Pai’s entire pay for a year, snorted, “And whose fault is that?” Pai’s head snapped up and his eyes met the gaze of the man in front of him. The man looked defeated and Pai’s heart clenched at the sight. Nevertheless, the older man steeled himself, “I told you, life doesn’t work to satisfy your every w
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Chapter 2
Pai rubbed his face as he looked at the man who was now asleep in his bed. The wedding tuxedo was lying on the chair in front of the bed, reminding Pai of how forbidden this relationship had become now. Pai felt amazed at how at-home and peaceful Siri looked as he slept in his tiny room, which was barely big enough for a Queen-sized bed. All Pai had in his room, that was his entire house, was a mini refrigerator, a stove-top, a collapsible wardrobe, a bed and a plastic chair. Those were his meagre belongings and this man who was currently sharing his bed when he should have been with his new bride was the only heir to multi-billion dollars empire. As fate would have it, Pai and Siri had met, somehow fallen in love even after clashing heads all the time and had maintained a relationship for over three years. Pai can still remember the day Siri said he would make Pai his wife. Pai didn’t know but a small smile had crept on his face as if he was re-living the memories. The days
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Chapter 3
Siri had a favorite bodyguard who was also his chauffer. This kind, tall and strong man, in his early 40s, was extremely fond of the young master of the house and he would be the one to let the heir of the Thanawat Enterprises sneak out at odd times. Tonight, was no different. Although it was rather awkward considering the heir had just taken the marital vows, this man, Chati, had seen enough of life to know when to question and when not to. Tonight, he had silently driven the young master to a worn down building in a not-so-friendly part of Bangkok and stayed guard until Siri had made his way back nearly four hours later. It was not a new place for Chati. The young master had visited this building and a particular apartment in this building countless times and by now the bodyguard had all the details not only regarding a particular resident but also regarding all the residents and businesses in the area. It was the way he worked and it was the only way he knew to do his job perfect
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Chapter 4
If one passed Mrs. Ratana Thanawat on the street, one would dismiss her as any other average loving old woman. But this woman was anything but that. The matriarch commanded the entire household and the vast business empire created by her late husband. The woman's knowledge and power were greater than what anyone could ever dream of. She ordered thousands of people, influential people at that, with a flick of her fingers. Her ability to be sweet and polite when the occasion demanded and to transform into this boss of a lady who never took no for an answer, was what made this woman what she was. Her chubby face and stodgy frame were misleading. The emotions in her golden-brown eyes changed according what she wanted to convey. Although she lacked a few inches when it came to average height of women in the country, she easily towered over both women and men in stature and command. However, many who met her at her party easily mistook her as only a friendly hostess.But now as she
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Chapter 5
“Then why didn’t he fight for you?”     The words hit Siri in the heart like a sharp knife and he involuntarily took a shocked step back. This woman in front of him was one of the three people Siri respected in the whole world. He had not expected his grandma to say this. This is why he was confused when his grandma started insulting his lover. This was absolutely out of the blue and it angered Siri to no end. What did this woman expect Pai to do? With who Siri is, Pai had done the only thing he could do, right? Right?Siri was glaring hard at the woman, whose eyes were nothing but challenging.Siri was seething from within, “That’s not fair..”Mrs. Thanawat tilted her head to the side, watching her grandson quiver with anger, “What’s not fair? Huh, Siri? What’s not fair?”“We did, he made a..we ..I had obligation and Pai..”Grandma snorted,
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Chapter 6
“Nana…I ..I don’t know..”The lady in the chair chuckled, “All you had to do was trust me, but ..well”Siri rushed forward, knelt before the chair and held the woman at her knees. He looked up earnestly, his eyes tear-filled and red, “Nana. I trust you! Trust you with my life. You are ..you have been everything to me all my life! Why didn’t you say anything? Nana..I..”“Why did I have to? Why should I have? You are the one who chose the easy way out..” Hearing the words Siri stood up abruptly, once again feeling the anger rising inside of him. His heart was barely holding it together, the pain was actually physical and the most important woman in his life thought everything was a joke?“Easy? Easy?...There is nothing easy about this, believe me Nana! Nothing at all..”“Is that so? Or maybe you just took the chance to break things off with that man..Good for you the
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Chapter 7
Siri had been up since five am this morning, scrambling around his files on his laptop as he proceeded to remember every little detail regarding the presentation he was to make this afternoon. This project was being handled by his father since the beginning but his Nana had suddenly decided to hand it over to him a week ago. It was the morning after his wedding, when after the talk in the study his Nana had laid out detailed rules for him and handed him this project. He now had to convince potential investors to contribute for the capital so that Thanawat Enterprises could launch their newest and smartest home automation system.The talk in the study had really frazzled Siri from within. It was that day that the young heir had fully understood the enigma he lovingly called Nana. It felt like even after so many years, he had only scratched the surface of what Ratana Thanawat meant. At the end of the talk though, Siri could only surrender to his grandma and her greater wisdom.<
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Chapter 8
Pai had just finished his second shift at the diner and was returning to his apartment when he noticed a long black unmarked limousine parked outside the building. All the residents were peering through their windows curiously. Some had even come out to stare and gossip about the car and who it was meant for. Pai may have been surprised by such a flashy car being in his dingy neighborhood but being the aloof one, he was not interested in such trivia. He had work to catch anyway. He worked nights at 7/11 around the corner and if he stays and chatted he would definitely be late. However, as he walked further, the back door of the car opened, blocking his way. Pai still didn’t think anything of it and was about to go around the door when a posh voice stopped him.“Get in,” the woman said. That’s when Pai leaned in to see an old classily dressed woman gesturing him to take a seat beside her. The young man had no idea who this was or why she would ask him t
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Chapter 9
Ratana Thanawat felt a soft smile spread on her face as she watched her grandson elegantly greet all the guests gathered at the mansion for a party to celebrate the production of company’s newest home automation system. Boonsri, slim and sophisticated, stood beside Siri in her classy lilac one-shoulder dress. From afar, they did look good together and she knew many of her guests might be jealous. But only the three of them knew the truth, not even Siri’s dad had been included.It had been almost three weeks and she had seen the young man work diligently for this project and also other assignments. Her grandson thought he was being subtle, but nothing had ever missed the matriarch’s eyes. She knew her conditions, one condition in particular, had been driving Siri to the brink. Her grandson was prolonging coming home, he didn’t want to relax his mind in the least so as to not let it wander. The lady’s eyes overcame with sadness. She could see from
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Chapter 10
The black limo was once again parked in front of his apartment building, but this time Pai didn’t hesitate. He just opened the back door himself and took a seat beside the old woman. The fact that Siri’s Nana had sought him out again for some reason didn’t even surprise him. After the first meeting, Pai had a feeling that there was a lot of unfinished business between them.This time when Pai bowed, the woman nodded in acknowledgement.The car started, “You are on leave tonight. I already talked to your manager.”“Uhh?”“We have things to discuss and I believe it will take a lot longer than 20 minutes.”Pai swallowed, but gave a small nod. One day of missing work won’t hurt. The rest of the ride was silent. When Pai and grandma Thanawat got out of the car, he realized they were at a small mom-n-pop restaurant. Surprisingly, it was completely empty, except for a middle-aged man and an old w
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