How To Write Sarcasm Like A Sarcasm Book Pro?

I'm notoriously known for being a vile heiress in this city's elite circle. I do whatever I want just because my family is rich and powerful. If I don't like someone, I won't hesitate to slap them on the spot. If any family dares to offend me, I'll have my family terminate all contracts with that family's business. Everyone is terrified whenever they bring me up. But everything changes when my dad brings Gwen Herman, the low-income student he's been sponsoring, home with him. Suddenly, I can hear her inner thoughts. Gwen tells me that this world is actually a novel with a plot where everyone adores and dotes on the main character. Apparently, Gwen is the kind-hearted female lead loved by everyone, whereas I'm the evil side character who's destined to be humiliated at every turn. What a coincidence. I already found out about this fact ten years ago. I watch as Gwen cowers at the side delicately like some wounded angel who looks eerily similar to my dad. Meanwhile, my dad is awfully protective of her and goes as far as to be extremely mean to me to my face. That's when I begin chortling loudly. "Just because I call you 'Dad' doesn't mean you're really my father, my dear stepdad."

Back when I was young and dumb, I slapped some college guy working a side gig at a nightclub. My boyfriend had just ditched me for my best friend, Vanessa Shannon. Then, not even five minutes later, I caught her in the corner, sliding her hand under another guy's shirt. He bit his lip and just took it. Something in my brain short-circuited. I stood up and walked over. If Vanessa wanted him, why couldn't I? But the second I reached for him, he smacked my hand away. Vanessa cracked up. The whole private room turned to watch. Mortified, I slapped him. "You work at a place like this. Don't play innocent." Later, my family went broke, and I ended up working at a nightclub just to get by. The private room was loud as hell. I lost a game, and everyone at the table started chanting for me to take my bra off. My face went hot. I stood there, completely frozen. Then a low voice cut through the noise with a cold laugh. "You work at a place like this. Don't play innocent." I looked up. Our eyes locked. His stare was icy, full of pure mockery. It was the college guy I'd slapped years ago.

I’ve always taken people literally. When Dad told me to empty the basin, I asked where he wanted me to pour the water. “On my head,” he snapped. So I did. When Mom told me to do the laundry, I asked whether I should add detergent. She gave a cold laugh. “Sure. Add caramel sauce.” So I poured an entire bottle of caramel sauce into the washing machine. Everyone said I was stupid. But this “stupid” guy took first place in a nationwide academic competition. I earned my school’s only direct-admission spot at one of the country’s top universities. The day the results were announced, Lucas Hale, the school bully, ripped my application apart in front of the entire class. “You can’t even understand sarcasm. Why should someone like you get direct admission? “Last night, I saw you get out of a luxury SUV. Who knows what kind of deal you made with the woman inside?” The whole classroom went quiet. Then everyone started looking at me differently. Lucas stood there with a self-righteous expression. “I’m just speaking up for the rest of the class. Why should we work ourselves to death only to lose out to someone who got in through connections?” I thought about it seriously. Then I took out my phone and called my older sister. “Claire, they said I got my admission spot by sleeping with someone. Is that true?” A few seconds later, I held the phone out to Lucas, whose face had gone pale. “My sister wants to know something.” “What’s your name?” “And your student ID number?”

"Don't move," he trailed his kisses to my neck after saying it, his hands were grasping my hands, entwining his fingers with mine, putting them above my head. His woodsy scent of cologne invades my senses and I was aroused by the simple fact that his weight was slightly crushing me. ***** When a famous author keeps on receiving emails from his stalker, his agent says to let it go. She says it's good for his popularity. But when the stalker gets too close, will he run and call the police for help? Is it a thriller? Is it a comedy? Is it steamy romance? or... is it just a disaster waiting to happen? ***** Add the book to your library, read and find out as another townie gets his spotlight and hopefully his happy ever after 😘 ***** Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

At the annual company raffle, I had barely stepped onto the stage when my supervisor, Lily Smith, pressed a crumpled slip of paper into my palm. "A special reward for our top salesperson," she chirped. "Go ahead, open it. Let everyone see." Under the eager gaze of the crowd, I unfolded the note. Written in messy handwriting were the words: Clean the company toilets for three days. The room erupted in laughter. Lily folded her arms, cocked her head, and smirked at me. "Nice, right?" she said. "Everyone knows those sales of yours came from sleeping with old men. Dirty money. To keep things fair, the others get a break, and you pick up a little extra work. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" The laughter surged again, nearly lifting the roof. From the side of the room, my boyfriend, Seth Hoffman, the company's CEO, watched everything unfold. As usual, he said nothing in my defense. They all thought I would fall apart, cry, or make a scene. Instead, I simply gave a calm nod. The very next day, the company was hit with over three hundred property cancellations. Its cash flow collapsed overnight. That was when Lily and Seth rushed to me, demanding I go plead with the buyers. I smiled and said, "No thanks. I wouldn't want to help the company recover and end up with strong numbers again. That might make everyone even more uncomfortable."

While waiting for my sons, Mason and Cayden Cox, to get out of school, I come across a post online. The poster asks, "What's the proudest thing you've ever done?" Some people in the comments talk about their happy families, while others mention achieving financial freedom. However, the top comment stands out for all the wrong reasons. "My proudest achievement? My childhood friend's wife had twins, and one of them is mine! That poor idiot has been raising my son for me all these years." Everyone's confused. "How could twins possibly have different fathers?" He responds, "Let's just say the timing lined up perfectly… You can figure out the rest. Now that the boy looks more like me every day, I couldn't be happier!" My breath hitches in my throat.