Sarcastic Witty Quotes Novels & Stories

I threatened but he knew I wasn’t that serious and at the same time, he knew I wasn’t joking about it. There are two different meanings to it. “Fine. You are one funny man to be around, aren’t you?” He said sarcastically but I said nothing. “While looking into the woman like you’d asked the last time you ever picked up your phone to call me, I found something rather interesting and thought you would be excited to know about it.” He started and just like he said I’m one impatient man. “Spit it out, Kirk.” I snapped. He glared at me but I heard him mumble something like ‘crazy man!’ underneath his breath.

I'm delighted for both of you "When I finished speaking, I turned around and went away. I didn't even bother to wait for their response. That's the longest piece of sarcasm I've used so far today. And I'm confident that number will rise in the coming days.

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

“I like it better than your baby talking” “Really?! Do you like it whenever I’m loud and proud? I mean… that’s the real me anyway and thanks for appreciating” “I am not appreciating you, you’re assuming” “You already said it and you cannot change that” “You’re childish” “Only with people that I want to get attention with” “And annoying” “I like to annoy you” “You’re pissing me off” “You look cool when outpatient” “Really?” I sarcastically asked but the next thing he did stun me.

He said sarcastically that made my eyes roll in disgust. "You and your hypercritical insights. What can I expect from you?" I uttered sardonically. "I would prefer your insults to saying things I don't mean to." Now I turned out to be a liar. Damn this brute! Why did I even tell him about that? "Believe what will satisfy your mind. I don't care what you think of me anyway." I snapped.

“I know it is. I read somewhere that when in doubt of the kind of feeling to display in front of people, try sarcasm, it always works.” “Whoever wrote that wanted anyone that reads it to be hated by their colleagues.” I told him. “For real?” He asked. “Wait, you read that for real? I thought you were just fibbing or lying?” He raised his left brow up as if to say ‘Really?' I sometimes forgot how blunt talking my boss was. “Well, sometimes, soft pedal on sarcasm at your kind of dinner parties. They might not appreciate it.” I told him honestly because most wealthy people are snubs so he might stick out like a sore thumb if he does that.

he frankly says. So I answered him back with a little tease, “You weren’t, remember?” And then I laugh, but I laugh alone. It seems that my sarcastic joke unintentionally puts a pinch of salt in a wound. “Oh, but it’s over now so you don’t have to worry about it,” I add.

I couldn't tell whether she was being sarcastic or not. I could hardly live with this lie. I'd never take it that far. "Okay, I'll just walk up to him and be like, 'Hey, I wasn't pregnant before, but now I'm ready to have your baby.'" I answered sarcastically. "Fine, enjoy unemployment for the rest of your life." She answered. "I wonder if you were born with a warning label that read, 'attracted to trouble.'" Katy joked. "If someone finds you murdered on the side of the road, no one should ask why," I answered.

I narrowed my eyes as I shot him a sarcastic smile, “You really love seeing me annoyed, huh?” He chuckled, shaking his head with a grin, “You really are something, Kathrina.” “Yeah, you bring out the annoyance in me,” I uttered sarcastically, putting up air quotes in annoyance for emphasis. “Okay, sorry. Sorry.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes again—he was still laughing, and I don’t even know why he finds me being annoyed funny! The last time I checked, I look pretty scary when I’m annoyed. Plus, he was just purposely doing it, it was definitely pissing me off.

I watch a few of them laugh hysterically at something they said. "That's all because of you. You brought everyone together with your bonfire idea." He says. "You've got a little Yoghurt on your mouth." "It's ice cream." "Oh, it matters." Sarcasm drips from his tone. I wipe my mouth with the back of my palms. "Sarcasm ruins the image, you know." He whips his head in my direction for an instant. "What image?" "You trying to be less of an asshole." "Is that what you think I'm doing?"