Funny Sarcastic Quotes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Liza was finally happy. She had a great family, a job she loved and she was finally free of all the pain. What will happen when she will come face to face with Jonathan, the man who had broken her heart, the man she loved and had left behind? Liza claims to have forgiven him but can you ever truly forgive someone who has broken your heart? Jonathan had made a grave mistake four years ago. A mistake that had cost him the love of his life. When he comes face to face with Liza four years later, will he try to win her back or will he let her go, just like he did years ago? Can Liza and Jonathan find a way to be together again or are they be fated to be apart forever? Find out all this in this sequel to 'Letters from an Ex- Wife' Note: This is a book about forgiveness, healing, and finding yourself.

When her cheating husband accuses Liza of being a cheater, Liza loses it all. All while knowing her husband's infidelity, the only hope she held onto was that he would come back to her leaving his cheating ways. When he demands a divorce, she gives in. Distraught by his accusations, she leaves the very home she had spent numerous nights waiting for him to come home. But an unfortunate accident lands her in the hospital. And the only way he would ever know her truth is the box Liza cherishes so much. In the box lie a series of letters she had written him. Note: This book is about growth and finding oneself.

"Cali, drop the knife, you know it is never that hard that you have to kill yourself." "For the last time Blake. I'm not suicidal!!" I throw the knife away. "Then why were you holding that knife?" He asked, worried. I then showed him the apple in my other hand. ------------- Cali Evans, 17, a normal girl with a wacky attitude and sass. Life was going smooth for her until Blake happened. Blake Sanders, 18, the popular, hot, bad boy finds a new mission when he meets Cali. One misunderstanding, a sarcastic girl and a bad boy equals to food fights, bowling nights, dangerous knifes, terrace conversations, monopoly games and maybe some love.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.

On Christmas people should be with their loved ones in the safety of their homes, but I don't have any loved ones, and I'm in the one place that I hate, where I swore never to come back, afraid that I'll get even more broken, and it seems that the more I try to get away, the more obstacles I encounter. "I know a shop not very far from here, and they have the best mechanics in town. If you want, I could come with you and give you directions, I'm heading that way anyway, and for your kindness, I'll make your biggest wish come true," Said the old crazy Santa that jumped in front of my car out of nowhere. "Can you teleport me from here? In another city, country, even on a deserted island? Anywhere but here?" I know that it wasn't nice of me to be sarcastic, but he's the reason why I have to prolong my say here. "No." His short answer was said in an amused tone of voice, but I don't find anything funny right now. "But that's just because that's not your biggest wish." He states it as a fact as if he's never been more sure of anything in his life. I bite my tongue and pray that I won't see the two people I used o love the most, and which now, I despise the most, the two people responsible for my nightmares and my broken being.

"Be my son's mother." He stated as he pushed the marriage form in front of her. "Marry me." As his secretary, she was used to his glares but this time, his stare felt like he was gobbling her up into his stomach.It was hypnotizing yet, she didn't fall for it. Anger filled her instead, then she stood her ground and said. "I refuse." ***** Alisha has worked for Kristoff Montenegro for three years. Three long years of insults. Three long years of sarcastic comments. Three long years of sufferings. She did everything he asked of her and even went beyond of her responsibilities to make her work perfect, but it's still not enough for his standards. Not surprisingly she started thinking of inventive ways to murder her boss. From stabbing him with a plastic knife. From strangling him with his silk tie. From bashing him with his attache case, Alisha has thought of everything. However, all of a sudden as if fate is mocking her, he proposed to her. It's understandable if Kristoff like her but she knew without a doubt that he didn’t. But when the attraction that has always been there between them, concealed by layers of their antipathy suddenly ignited, nothing can stop the fire between them from burning.. There's just a small problem - Kristoff actually has a secret that can get Alisha killed.

Paano kung isang araw ay may isang estranghero na bigla na lamang mag-alok sa iyo ng kasal? Handa ka bang tanggapin ang mapusok na alok nito, o mas pipiliin mong tanggihan? Halina't tunghayan at alamin kung papaano mababago ang buhay ni Gelay De Castro sa alok ni Hadi Sandoval? *** Lumaki na hirap sa buhay ang dalagang si Gelay, simula nang pumanaw ang kanyang ama ay siya na rin ang umako sa responsibilidad na naiwan nito sa kanilang pamilya. Bukod sa pagiging panganay na anak ay ginampanan na rin niya ang pagiging Padre de pamilya para sa kanyang Nanay Myrna at dalawang nakababata pang kapatid. Wala siyang pinipiling pasukan na trabaho, basta ba't legal at marangal ay wala iyong problema sa kanya. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, nakilala niya si Hadi Sandoval—ang lalaking malamig pa sa yelo kung makitungo sa kapwa tao. Sa hindi malamang dahilan, inis para sa isa't-isa agad ang kanilang naramdaman simula noong unang magkita. They also both wish not to see each other anymore…ngunit tunay na mapaglaro nga naman ang tadhana. Dahil itinakda ng pagkakataon na muli silang magkita… sa pagkakataon ito ay inalok siya ng kasal ng Binata. A marriage for inconvenience. Pakakasal siya kay Hadi, kapalit ng malaking halaga. Tanggapin kaya ni Gelay ang alok na maging Cinderella for Rent?