Funny Sarcastic Quotes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

When her cheating husband accuses Liza of being a cheater, Liza loses it all. All while knowing her husband's infidelity, the only hope she held onto was that he would come back to her leaving his cheating ways. When he demands a divorce, she gives in. Distraught by his accusations, she leaves the very home she had spent numerous nights waiting for him to come home. But an unfortunate accident lands her in the hospital. And the only way he would ever know her truth is the box Liza cherishes so much. In the box lie a series of letters she had written him. Note: This book is about growth and finding oneself.

Liza was finally happy. She had a great family, a job she loved and she was finally free of all the pain. What will happen when she will come face to face with Jonathan, the man who had broken her heart, the man she loved and had left behind? Liza claims to have forgiven him but can you ever truly forgive someone who has broken your heart? Jonathan had made a grave mistake four years ago. A mistake that had cost him the love of his life. When he comes face to face with Liza four years later, will he try to win her back or will he let her go, just like he did years ago? Can Liza and Jonathan find a way to be together again or are they be fated to be apart forever? Find out all this in this sequel to 'Letters from an Ex- Wife' Note: This is a book about forgiveness, healing, and finding yourself.

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK ONE *The six-pack series is a collection of steamy werewolf shifter novels about a group of six aligned werewolf packs, the young alphas that run them, and the strong-willed women that bring them to their knees. If you're new to the series, start here!* GRAY : I've got a lot on my plate. Not only do I have a pack to protect, but I keep the whole six-pack territory secure by training and running the security squad. The new recruits are here for the summer, and it's my job to whip them into shape. I can't afford any distractions, but one of the female recruits is doing just that- distracting me. Fallon is the most frustrating girl I've ever met; she's all alpha female, and she openly challenges my authority. She's so far from my type, but for some reason, I'm drawn to her. It'll be a challenge to break her, but by the end of the summer, she will learn to obey her alpha. By the end of the summer, I'll have her on her knees. ~ FALLON : All I've ever wanted was to be part of the six-pack's security squad, defending our territory as a fighter. I've finally got a chance to live out my dream- all I have to do is make it through summer training camp and prove myself. I thought that the toughest part of training camp would be the actual training, but the alpha running the place is even tougher. One sarcastic comment, and Alpha Gray seems hellbent on making an example out of me, provoking me at every opportunity. He wants me to fall in line, but I'll be damned if I'm going to roll over. Sure, he's insanely hot. He's an alpha. But I'm not backing down. He's not my alpha.

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

I Drew Kizmet, Future Alpha of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by reject you Jewel Stuart as my Mate and future Luna of this pack... (He smirked and looked down and me).... I stared directly into his eyes and said.... "I Jewel Stuart of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by accept your rejection... Am I free to go now Drew? I'll be late for Chemistry".... I turn and head to class and I can feel his eyes as well as other students eyes on me as I make my way through the halls and into class... **Jade I know you took the blow of the rejection for me are you okay?...** Yes Jewel I'm fine, just need to rest for a bit..** Okay, thank you for doing that, take your time and rest, I'll check in on you later..**...okay! Later!Jewel was a warrior, the first daughter of Laura and Jaxon Stuart who where 20th generation warriors in their pack. Jewel naturally grew up tough and rough as a fighter which made her a bit of a tom boy but her family loved her and she them.Drew Kizmet the first son and next in line for the Alpha Title of Crescent Blood Peak Pack, His parents Alpha Dustin and Luna Kristen Kizmet are just, fair and strong leaders who intend to pass down their titles once their son finds his mate and go traveling, do things they where unable to do during the years.Lets find out how things play out for Jewel and for Drew.