Actually Funny Jokes For Adults

Claire RavenWood has been gifted with the blood of the sacred Luna, which only has one occurrence in a century. Ever since the news broke that the Luna had been born, Claire was all but safe. The past Lunas’ barely survived and because of that, the blood ran dry and there were none for thousands of years. It was a miracle that Claire was chosen. The wolverines are the counterfeits who have sworn their lives to the ownership of the sacred Luna. Lucas, an alpha of a very powerful clan has brought it up on himself as the lead to find Luna and regain lives in the clan after many long years. Claire's parents have some hidden secret that could change the story forever, a sinister betrayal portrays as the one she shares mutual bonds with, becomes her Achilles heel.

**Dark Romance** Being the new girl is hard, Mary is shy, introverted, and prefers the solitude of being with her books than people. But in her new school, things became different as she got noticed by the wrong people. She catches the attention of the school's bad boy who begins to taunt and ridicule her. ***** I played with my fingers as he stared, he didn't stop staring and I was finding it hard to maintain eye contact with him. His stare was making me feel uncomfortable. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing here alone. "Mary Davies," he whispered my name. "You are still a virgin right?" He asked smirking. "Hmmmn... Untouched. Innocent. Just like I have always wanted." He whispered, trailing a finger down my collar bone. "I am going to have so much fun with you," he whispered again, kissing my ear lobes. "So much fun." He added, stepping away from me. He began to walk towards the door. "See you tonight."

I was the son of the wealthiest man in Capital City, but I had never enjoyed the flattery and fake smiles that came with that title. All I had ever wanted was a normal life. Now that I was pushing twenty-eight and still single, my mom finally lost her patience. She gave me an ultimatum: go on a blind date or she’d disown me. On my way to the date, I passed by a luxury boutique and spotted a watch that immediately caught my eye. I was just about to pay for it when, out of nowhere, a man barged in from behind and slapped a black card down on the counter. “I’ll take this watch. Wrap it up for me,” he said. I stayed calm and said politely, “Sir, I saw this watch first.” However, he just scoffed and snapped back, full of arrogance, “A broke nobody like you can look but not afford it. Get lost. I’m the assistant to Ms. Jackson, the CEO of Jackson Group. In this city, if I want something, no one will fight me for it.” Ms. Jackson? Isn’t that the exact woman I was supposed to be meeting for the blind date? Without another word, I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. “Selena,” I said calmly, “do you know your assistant is out here throwing your name around to bully people?”

After being betrayed by her sister and boyfriend, Barbara Calvin decided to nurse her wound and vow not to fall in love but then again, she had to attend a ball, the only option is renting a boyfriend. She ended up renting a cold-hearted CEO, whom she accidentally punched because he reminded her of her predicament. CEO Dante, who the city refers to as a woman hater, and his slogan is punishing any offender, even for the slightest thing they do to him. Will he reciprocate the love she had for him when she start falling in love with him even without knowing his true identity? After finding out the truth, will she still love him or move on with her life?

I groan, leaning my body over his, resting my forehead against his shoulder. “Ride me, Angel.” He commands, panting, guiding my hips. “Put it in me, please…” I beg, biting his shoulder, trying to control the pleasurable sensation that's taking over my body more intensely than any orgasm I have felt alone. He's just rubbing his dick on me, and the sensation is better than any I've been able to provide on my own. “Shut up.” He says hoarsely, digging his finger even harder into my hips, guiding the way I ride on his lap quickly, sliding my wet entrance and causing my clit to rub against his hard-on. “Hah, Julian…” His name escapes with a loud moan, and he lifts my hips with extreme ease and pulls me down again, making a hollow sound that makes me bite my lips. I could feel how the tip of his dick dangerously met my entrance… Angelee decides to free herself and do whatever she wants, including losing her virginity after catching her boyfriend of four years sleeping with her best friend in his apartment. But who could be the best choice, if not her father's best friend, a successful man and a convicted bachelor? Julian is used to having flings and one-night stands. More than that, he has never been committed to anyone, or had his heart won over. And that would make him the best candidate… if he were willing to accept Angelee's request. However, she's determined to convince him, even if it means seducing him and messing with his head completely. … “Angelee?” He looks at me confused, maybe my expression is confused. But I just open my lips, saying slowly, “Julian, I want you to fuck me.” Rating: 18+

Actress Vinta Serrano, 28 yrs old, was found alone and unconscious in the forest where they were currently filming her latest television series. They rushed her in the hospital, but she's still insensible as the days passed by. Little they did know, the woman was pulled back in the year of 1895, where spanish colonial is reigning in the Philippines. Her soul was rebirth into another woman's body and name. Not just another woman, but into a nun. Hermina Claveria, was passionate in pleasing her parents. It's her happiness, so when they want her to serve in church, she decided to devote herself in serving God's glory. She liked it, but when Crisanto Agapito gives colour in the picture, her world turns upside down. As it is prohibited, she tried to stop whatever she's feeling for him. She keeps praying for her sanity and faith for Him. That it is just His ways to prove her adherence for Him. But, the harder she wants to stop, the harder she's falling for him. Hence, she gave up and decided to follow what her hearts wants. Crisanto's economic status belongs in "lower class" but she rejected the idea and go on loving him. Until one day, Hermina's parents knew about Crisanto and they.. killed him Hermina is holding Crisanto's lifeless body and whisper, "Sa ika-isangdaan at dalawampu't walong taon na pagtatakip ng mundo sa araw at buwan ay muling magpapakita ang ating nakaraan at magsisimulang muli ang panibagong yugto ng ating pagmamahalan. Nawa'y dumating ka, Crisanto. Pangako, aking mahal. Hihintayin kita kung saan tayo nagsimula."

Sarah Mae Dela Fuente is an 18-year-old province girl who is struggling to make a living. As recommended by her mother, she takes the plunge to set forth in the nearby city. From then on, her life became messier and royaly complicated than ever.

“Shoot her, Luna, do it!” “I.. I can't.. She is my mother” Luna, a divorcee, and Maverick, a widower who decided to join forces together to bring down their enemies are faced with lots of setbacks, twists, turns, and surprises. Will they conquer their enemies, or will they be conquered? Will their love conquer all or will their past lives ruin them forever? Dive into this story of love, hate, betrayal, backstabbing, and revenge.

"I would dedicate my life to Flowers." Yes, Flowers. Flowers hasn't been a big part of my life until she came into my life. "Thinking of you," I said as I held the Blue Salvia flower The petals of our youthful fondness have finally blossomed! ...

Some women are born to obey. She was built to survive. When Elena is kidnapped and delivered to the Romano mafian family, her fate is meant to be simple: obey or disappear. In a world where women are stripped, sorted, and owned, she’s told she’ll either be trained for pleasure… or forged into a killer. Elena chooses neither. Her defiance catches the eye of Matteo Romano—the cold, calculating heir to the empire. To the family, she’s just another wild girl to break. To Matteo, she’s a challenge. A weapon in the making. A fire he’s drawn to… even if it burns. Thrown into ruthless combat training with other women marked for bloodshed, Elena fights to stay alive—and stay herself. But as Matteo watches from the shadows, the line between power and desire starts to blur. In a world ruled by fear, family, and unforgiving men, trust is a death sentence—and falling for the boss might be the deadliest mistake of all.