Actually Funny Jokes For Adults

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Seven Classic Faery Tales are given a very adult makeover. You are entering a world of myth, magic, and Immortals. Throw in the humans for the added spice of erotica and violence. Mix together and you have dark adult faery tales ........ Do not read if easily offended!

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

His texts were the perfect way to get away. His class was like a nightmare come true. And they were the same person. Elena Torres finds comfort in "A.W.," a mysterious stranger who lives far away and whose funny messages are the only thing that makes her happy. She tells him everything, even her frustrations with her infuriatingly rigid literature professor, Adrian Wells. The connection feels safe because they are so far apart. Until the phone rings in the middle of Professor Wells's class. A.W. sends a message, and the app's distance tracker shows a horrible truth: **3 meters away.** The man she is opening up to is the professor she is not allowed to want. A suspicious university dean starts an investigation when their secret relationship becomes dangerous, and threatening notes show up, showing that someone else knows the truth. Elena needs to find out who is blackmailing them before their secret is revealed, since her scholarship and his job are on the line. But when the blackmailer traps her in a dark garage and demands the one piece of evidence that can save Adrian, Elena has to choose between giving up the proof and killing the man she loves or putting everything on the line to protect a love that was never meant to be.

To save her dying brother, Harper Quinn sold her virginity at a secret Halloween auction. The winner: a masked stranger with silver hair, crimson eyes, and real fangs who paid ten million dollars for one unforgettable night. She never expected to see him again. She definitely never expected to get pregnant. Three months later, Prince Valerian Nocturne (Crown Prince of the hidden vampire kingdom) kicks down her door. “You’re carrying my royal heir, little human. You belong to me now.” Kidnapped into a world of eternal night, Harper discovers she’s part of an ancient prophecy. Their child could walk in sunlight and save the vampire race… or destroy it. But when a golden-eyed ancient king emerges, claiming Harper’s soul was his five centuries ago, war erupts between two immortal princes who will burn everything to possess her and the baby. One night. One secret. One impossible love that defies death. Dark, steamy, possessive vampire romance with secret baby, royal drama, and “touch her and die” vibes.

"I want you... right here... right now." I breathed. His lips hovered over mine, his breath mingling with my own as he spoke. "Once I start, there's no turning back." I swallowed hard and nodded. My gaze dropped to his lips, full and tempting. I watched, craving, as his tongue swept across his bottom lip "How could I possibly want you to stop when my body is aching for your touch?" The words slipped before I could stop them. For a second, I thought he would push me away again, but then something in him snapped. His lips inched closer to mine, and his fingers lightly stroked my cleavage. The touch made my breasts push higher against my dress, my nipples tightening, my chest heaving as my heartbeat raced. It was all getting too intense, and I was tempted to run and pretend this never happened. But the ache between my legs was too strong to ignore. I wasn’t about to let this moment slip away. “Kiss me," I whispered, pressing my body closer to his in a slow, seductive tease. “Make me forget him....” A dark and intense forbidden love story about a good girl gone bad, Clairessa Hartwood thought she had it all—until heartbreak drove her to revenge. After catching her boyfriend, Adrian Storm, cheating, she seduces his powerful father, Gabriel Storm, while withholding the truth about her previous relationship with his son. Gabriel finally gives in, and they begin a passionate affair, even as Adrian tries to win Clairessa back. Clairessa wants more from the relationship, but Gabriel, still haunted by past betrayals, refuses to commit and ultimately breaks things off. Clairessa navigates heartbreak, desire, and love, she finds herself trapped in a dangerous love triangle between father and son.

Stella was a product of a domestic violence family. Watching her parent fight was an immense, heartbreaking, seasonal film, that resulted in a tragic end when her mother's life was cut short in one of their fatal fights. Getting married to Richard Jacob made a considerable difference from the one her parents had. It was blissful, peaceful, and full of Nirvana until Bella Jonathan walked into their lives. Their life took a drastic turn when Stella fell into a tricky trap, which was likely to tear her family apart or worse become a vast menace to her health. Overcoming the thorny phase in their union seems impossible as their source of difficulty kept amplifying and the chances of their marriage withstanding it was slim. In what case do you think it is advisable to stick to the vow of "For Better or Worse? Will Stella's marriage survive these hard times even though she's a marriage counselor?"

Usually, they say don't mess with the seniors especially when he held the whole authority of your life. For you, life is a fairy tale until you start college. And once you start your college life, your dreamland would have to come to end or else someone would put end cards by force. College is where friends turned out to be complete strangers and outsiders become friends. New life, new attitude, and new personalities gradually come to eat you when you become the target of the most popular guy in the college.It may lead your life to heaven or worst to hell. Here what she might be destined to get?~~~Sheila is an Indian girl who belongs to a rural society has a very happy life with her family. She is not allowed to have any boyfriend, that's how her parents raised her as it's their culture but she was very determined to find her well-wisher. But her life turned upside down when she got the chance to study in one of the famous colleges 'St. Xavier's Catholic College of Engineering' in India.Harry, whose life is full of secrets, is not fond of any new friendships. He always stands away when it comes to new people but he has a valid reason behind his attitude. Karl, he has the power to control everything especially everyone in the college. He rules everyone including his seniors too. He gets everything with the snap of his finger. He is another meaning of arrogant who never fails to make anyone's life miserable. What will happen when these three peoples are destined to meet in different circumstances? Who will have her at the end? Read the story and find out. -----------------------------------------

Robbie Garvie and Samantha (Sam) Laplow have always been best friends until Sam returns home from her study abroad program engaged. Shocked, jealous, and confused Robbie joins the army to escape his emotions and hide the truth of his father's death. Will their friendship survive the hardships of adulthood or will they be forced to go their separate ways?

Perjodohan tiba-tiba antara Arabella Swastika dan Rengga Aditama. Mendapat tanggapan yang berbeda dari keduanya. Rengga Aditama seorang pewaris dengan kecenderungan yang tidak diketahui banyak orang termasuk keluarganya sekalipun. Sempat frustasi oleh paksaan menikah dari Mamanya. Akhirnya menyetujui rencana tersebut setelah melihat foto gadis yang akan di jodohkan dengannya. Sekilas perhatian Rengga teralih pada gadis dalam foto tersebut. Membuat dirinya benar-benar tertarik dan antusias dengan rencana perjodohan tersebut. Lain halnya dengan Arabella yang lebih di kenal dengan sebutan Bella. Terkejut bahkan ingin menentang rencana orang tuanya. Namun setelah pertemuan pertama dengan Rengga. Berhasil mengubah pikiran Tika akan sebuah perjodohan. Berpikir mungkin inilah saatnya untuk membahagiakan kedua orang tuanya. Dengan menerima perjodohan ini. Rencana pernikahan berjalan, tanpa diketahui oleh Bella. Bahwa Rengga memiliki sebuah kecenderungan seksual yang menyimpang. Hal ini menjadi tantangan dan kepuasan tersendiri untuk Rengga. Stelah mengetahui perasaanya berkembang untuk Bella. Rengga sering kali menjadi bimbang dan plin plan akan sikapnya. Di satu sisi dia ingin menadapatkan kepuasan dengan terus membuat Tika hamil tapi juga tidak tega untuk menyakiti Bella. Sedangkan Bella, dengan segala sikap baik hatinya. Mampu menerima Rengga apa adanya tanpa mengetahui penyimpangan seksual suaminya. Akankah Bella bisa bertahan atau Rengga memilih untuk menekan kecenderungannya. Hingga sembuh dari penyimpangan tersebut.