Actually Funny Jokes

[WWARNING: MATURE CONTENT] "I... I'm not sure what I'm asking for," Serena admitted. "But I know I want you. Even if it scares me to death." Her voice trembled slightly. His hand covered hers, pressing it more firmly against his hardened length. "Tell me to stop. Tell me now, or I won't be able to hold back." his tone was both a challenge and a plea. Serena swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest at the electric tension between them. "I don't want you to stop," she breathed, barely recognizing her own voice. His eyes darkened even more. So much so that the ambers in them completely disappeared. He gnashed his teeth so hard as he fought for control. Serena could feel the tension radiating off him in waves like a spring ready to snap. "You don't know what you're doing to me," he growled roughly. She bit her lip, both thrilled and intimidated by the raw need in his voice. Her fingers trailed along the hard line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. "Show me," she challenged. His breathing grew even more ragged. Serena could see the struggle on his face - the battle between his overwhelming desire and his need to protect her from his own intensity. "I could hurt you," he warned again. "I'm not sure I can ever be gentle with you. I’m rough. My kind of sex is brutal." --------- Serena's life hit rock bottom when she caught her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She decided to lose herself in a bar, hoping to wash away her pain. However, life has this funny way of messing up plans – she ended up in a one-night stand that only added more trouble to her already chaotic reality.

Autumn Shade only wants one thing: to get away and live her own life. Tired of being forced by her father to take on the business, and follow in his steps, she leaves. She wanted to show her father that she was capable of making her own decisions and not screwing up. But just when she successfully leaves, she's caught up in another whirlwind which threatens to deem everything she'd known a lie.Justin Black and his friends see Autumn and they find that she was perfect for what they were planning, given that it was her father they wanted to take revenge on.Autumn learns a shocking truth about a scandal involving a murder and her father, and persistently denies it. But apparently they have proof.All Autumn wants to do is the right thing. If her father is innocent she gets to say 'I told you so' and if he's really a cheating murderer then she does what's right and gets out of this mess once and for all.But as usual, things get complicated. Actually, feelings get complicated, because the longer she stayed, the closer the broken boy held her.© 2020 by Everleigh Winters

“Daddy… Fuck me daddy… I know daddy wants my pussy…. Yeah daddy harder… Oh..” I moaned tightly, biting my bottom lips. “So close.” I whispered, twirling my other hand on my breast, pinching and swirling my thumb against my dark buds. It was fucking sweet having pleasuring myself but I wondered what it would actually feel like having daddy’s cock inside of me instead. My eyes had immediately seized upward, and my hues widened with shock, snapping at the sight of my father figure who stood unwavering at the door. My heart skipped a beat that I swallowed harshly having pushed the words out my mouth. “Daddy….” my eyes leaned on him, watching as his dark shadow loomed further inside my room, and he pushed the door closed from behind with my breath which had halted. My leg involuntarily squeezed themselves to together, and another pleasure weaved its way into my body, maybe it was actually due to shock. What was he fucking doing here? “Princess where you fantasizing about me?” *** Roses weren’t red, neither were violent blue to me, all I wanted was pleasure but it all went too far….. The moment I saw how gracious my stepdad appeared, I had made it my mission to seduce him. Unfortunately what I didn’t know was that I was a naïve nineteen years old who was being used. He turned to a monster, and he made it his own life mission to torment my existence.

"Please, I am in pain." My pleas fell on deaf ears as his grip on my hair intensified. "I know you felt it too, the connection between us. I want to make one thing clear," he lowered his head and whispered into my ear, "Don't get any funny ideas. I can never mark you as my mate! You are a mere slave, and that is all you will be—a slave I can bed whenever I want." His finger trailed down my face and neck, pausing briefly at my bosom, which responded involuntarily. "Just like I will tonight," he snarled before releasing my hair. I immediately crumpled to the hard ground. Athena, an 18-year-old Omega, was offered to the cruel Alpha king by her stepfather, who cared nothing about her, in exchange for a debt he owed the king. Upon meeting the cruel Alpha king, Sebastian, they felt a connection that indicated they were each other's mate. The cruel king rejects her immediately and subjects her to his sexual pleasures. Torn and broken, Athena decides to flee the pack with her unborn child, as the cruel king's palace was not a fit place to raise her child. She vowed to give her baby all the love and care she was deprived of, even as a child, something it would never get from its father or his kingdom. What would happen when she falls right into the hands of a Lycan king in need of an heir? What would happen when Sabastain decides he wants her back? What would happen when she discovers a secret that would play a huge role in determining whether she lives or dies, one that has been hidden from her all her life? Find out in this thrilling werewolf romance novel, "Offered to the Cruel Alpha King."

I, Zoey Carter, it was as if I was born to be punished. An accident, I lost my parents, and that was the day I was accused of murder. All those years of bullying and torture. Without my family, I thought my godmother's presence was a pathetic handout from the moon goddess. But now, I'm going to lose her again! I can't lose her, I don't want to actually become alone, a person who will never be loved! So I have no choice, I need money and I have nothing but a sound, needed womb. Yes, I'm going to be a surrogate! As a rumored murderer, of course I wouldn't be accepted. But this time, I had complete confidence that I was the best person for the job... *** "NEXT!" "Don't go inside!"My wolf, Tilly cries. "He will kill us!" I know it. But No! I must go! Even if it means death! I ignored a ranting Tilly and straightened my back,, look up noble and ready to fight with this jerk and his friends. The door opens in front of me and I step inside but as soon as my eyes meet their eyes. I can see the shock on Tristan's face to see me here, as if he just saw a horror movie that scared the shit out of him. But before I could react his Beta is grabbing me by my arms and pushing me into the wall, while gamma Nicholas blocks in his tracks. "What the F*CK are you doing here?! You murderer!" and grabbing my throat he lifts me in the air, holding me there.

Kylie Leowfin is a beautiful, intelligent, and special model from Europe. She is living a happy life until she returns to the Philippines for the wedding of her cousin. During her stay there, she meets Thurstin Piers, a guy she does not want to see again. She dislikes Thurstin\'s that so much. However, fate and chance conspired together. Their paths cross again, and Thurstin and Kelly are stuck in the same place. After a while, Kylie realized that Thurstin\'s had a kind heart. But the pressure Kylie feels from the two of them being stuck in the same place that might make Kylie develop feelings for him. By keeping her distance and distracting herself, Kylie tried not to be disturbed by him. Do they have any chance of falling in love with each other? Read on to find out.

Arlo is an omega from the red forest pack. He has six overprotective older brothers who spoils him rotten as well as his parents. The red forest pack tends to welcome anyone no matter who they are. What happens when Arlo finds his mate? Will he be able to escape his overprotective family or will it affect his relationship with his mate? Jacob valentine is the alpha king of the blue sky pack located in Norway Europe. They live amongst the humans who welcomed them with open arms but Jacob was still wary of them since he didn't trust them. Being the alpha king comes with a lot of work, one he was ready to take on no matter what. Jacob was on a search to find his mate, but what happens when he goes to the red forest pack? Will his mate be there or will he have to continue to wait? Find out more on their journey. All rights reserved Written by princess Jody

Summer Haynes, a.k.a 'Ms. Clumsy'. A lazy Tomboy trying to get her crush's attention with the help from her former ex bully. This is not the best idea to start with...

Marked and mated, Luna Ariel lives her best life alongside her fated mate, Alpha Gorgio of Eclipse Howl, the most handsome leader of the werewolf community worldwide. The Alpha adores his Luna, never takes his eyes off her. Until she leaves for the General Meeting of the Council of Alphas in the Midnight Moon pack. And Ariel realizes she actually has two mates. Heartbroken and unable to tell the possessive Gorgio, Ariel flees to Human Town. She fears confronting him with her betrayal. But neither of her mates is willing to give her up. 'It is impossible to escape the fate of the Moon Goddess. I am waiting for you,' echoes Alpha Zane. But in the iron mate bond, she hears another call, longing yet tender. 'Where are you, my Luna? Remember your promise to love me forever.' Devastated, she listens to the two mates, knowing she can't run for long and must face this twist of fate. Until her sister offers Alpha Gorgio a great solution... or so it seems...

Cassandra Moore (Cassie) was living her dream life. She finally achieved her last wish, which was to attain her dream job of becoming a secretary to a CEO of a giant company. She got hired at RX Corp, the largest business corporation in the country. She went to celebrate that milestone with her friends in a nightclub, and that was when the mess started. Her friend made a prank call to her ex-boyfriend from seven years ago, Riccardo Xavier (Ricky), the ex she never got over yet even after years. They forced her to talk with him without her consent. The next morning, Cassie realized that she had slept with Ricky. She stormed out of his house in disbelief and tried to forget what happened. Everything looked fine until the first day she reported to RX Corp. She found out that Ricky was actually the CEO of the company and was her new boss. Slowly, another love story began between them and little by little the dark secrets of the Xavier family came into her light. Ricky was no ordinary man and being with him would cost her a lot of danger and damage. All the horrible things that happened around Ricky caused Cassie to slowly lose her sanity. In the end, would Cassie stay with Ricky, the man that she had always loved? Or would she leave him when things get out of control?