Actually Funny Jokes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

His texts were the perfect way to get away. His class was like a nightmare come true. And they were the same person. Elena Torres finds comfort in "A.W.," a mysterious stranger who lives far away and whose funny messages are the only thing that makes her happy. She tells him everything, even her frustrations with her infuriatingly rigid literature professor, Adrian Wells. The connection feels safe because they are so far apart. Until the phone rings in the middle of Professor Wells's class. A.W. sends a message, and the app's distance tracker shows a horrible truth: **3 meters away.** The man she is opening up to is the professor she is not allowed to want. A suspicious university dean starts an investigation when their secret relationship becomes dangerous, and threatening notes show up, showing that someone else knows the truth. Elena needs to find out who is blackmailing them before their secret is revealed, since her scholarship and his job are on the line. But when the blackmailer traps her in a dark garage and demands the one piece of evidence that can save Adrian, Elena has to choose between giving up the proof and killing the man she loves or putting everything on the line to protect a love that was never meant to be.

To save her dying brother, Harper Quinn sold her virginity at a secret Halloween auction. The winner: a masked stranger with silver hair, crimson eyes, and real fangs who paid ten million dollars for one unforgettable night. She never expected to see him again. She definitely never expected to get pregnant. Three months later, Prince Valerian Nocturne (Crown Prince of the hidden vampire kingdom) kicks down her door. “You’re carrying my royal heir, little human. You belong to me now.” Kidnapped into a world of eternal night, Harper discovers she’s part of an ancient prophecy. Their child could walk in sunlight and save the vampire race… or destroy it. But when a golden-eyed ancient king emerges, claiming Harper’s soul was his five centuries ago, war erupts between two immortal princes who will burn everything to possess her and the baby. One night. One secret. One impossible love that defies death. Dark, steamy, possessive vampire romance with secret baby, royal drama, and “touch her and die” vibes.

Layla, in a desperate attempt to cover up the embarrassing moment from her ex, grabs an arm of the stranger she sees and introduces him as her boyfriend to her ex. After the scenario, the stranger asks what that was all about and she tried to explain. After a while, they run into each other again and the guy proposes a fake relationship to help him avoid his mother’s matchmaking during his brother’s wedding and for her to make her ex feels she is happier without him.

The very handsome and smart heir of the billionaire company 'Russell Hotels'- Adrien Russell, was generous enough to save a young and beautiful woman from the goons on a stormy night. But little did they know that his kind gesture would change both their lives... For good? Or for bad? What happens when the turn of events lead to an unwanted marriage between the two? How will they survive?

After being betrayed and threatened by her own mate, whom she had believed truly loved her, Riley is ready to leave the pack and start over, but her ex-mate wouldn't let her go just yet. In her desperate attempt to escape him, she is forced to sign a deal with the very dangerous but equally alluring Alpha Thane. . The deal was simple. Riley only had to act as the Alpha's mate for six months, and then she was free to leave with a fortune as her pay to start a new life. Alpha Thane didn't do relationships; he made that very clear to her, but he wanted her in other ways, and he was going to have her. ~ "How do I know that you won't hurt me? How do I know that I would be safe with you?" I asked, lowering my eyes. His intense gaze was on me, and he looked every bit a predator. "You are not. I am not a very gentle man, Riley, and you should know that about me. I would protect you from every other person but myself." "You would hurt me?" I asked His hands trailed down my cheeks. "Yes" . Could Riley be signing a deal with the Devil himself?

Rowena’s sheltered life crumbled the night she witnessed her parents’ brutal murder, leaving her with nothing but a relentless enemy hunting her down. Desperate to survive, she vows to avenge their deaths and reclaim her rightful legacy. Then there’s Ryker—an Alpha with a heart once full of gold but now encased in stone after a betrayal that left him scarred and unyielding. He’s determined to keep his walls up, but Rowena is his unexpected problem: innocent yet defiant, naive yet dangerously persistent. When their paths collide, sparks fly, but so do tempers. Attraction ignites, hatred festers, and buried secrets claw their way to the surface. As Rowena and Ryker are forced to overcome these, one question lingers: what if the Alpha’s contract isn’t what it seems? Let the hunt for truth—and vengeance—begin.

Wyatt Roberts, CEO of a successful food company in the Philippines, had wealth, good looks, and power, but lacked love. A past heartbreak had built strong walls around his heart. He was serious, and his employees were intimidated by him. His peaceful life was upset by his ex-girlfriend, the daughter of a powerful business partner of his company, who kept trying to get him to marry her. Desperate, Wyatt asked his new secretary, Effie Cynara, to pretend to be his girlfriend. Feeling pressured, Effie agreed to a one-month fake relationship, hoping to quickly end the problem. But being around each other started to change Wyatt. Effie's kindness, strength, and positive attitude brought back feelings he thought were gone. Their fake relationship became real and risky. Wyatt liked Effie, even though she was counting down the days until their agreement ended. Their growing feelings threatened to ruin their plan. Could Wyatt overcome his fear of being hurt again and take a chance on love with Effie? Or would the end of their agreement and his past hurt keep him alone, even though his heart was opening up to the woman who just wanted to escape his complicated life? The situation was serious, and time was running out.

Fueled with guilt and hatred for her late sister's husband, Jenna Wolfe, a struggling business owner and sister in-law to Ryker Wheeler got blinded with revenge after her sister's death and is ready to do everything in her power to make sure Ryker doesn't taste the joy of fatherhood furthermore by getting her niece, Arlene away from him. To do that, she has to get married to the man she loathed the most in her entire life so as to gain full custody. But after involving herself in the risky deal, she found out that everything she knew about her sister and Ryker was just the tip of the iceberg. However, when Lana's death scandal threatened to ruin their plans, Jenna has no choice than to form a synergy with Ryker so they won't end up losing everything they hold dear–Arlene.