Alpha Brat
Messy curls, combat boots, forest in the background, caption:
“If I go missing, delete my browser history, then avenge me. Xoxo.”
I post it to my story easily, interesting that the service is so good in the middle of the wilderness. If I’m going to be kidnapped by cultists, I’m at least going viral.
With final resignation I step onto the path. I can do this. I once wore a polyester sausage costume for twelve hours slinging samples of vegan hot dogs outside a strip mall.
Twenty five sweaty, mosquito-infested minutes later my boots are covered in dirt, my hair’s a humid disaster and there’s a twig in my bra that I’ve accepted as part of my personality.
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